Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Physics Slayer]

 

[thegoldbering]

A little Physics humor for this Valentine's day

I personally calculate momentum with inertia tensor! xD

 

[Baluncore]

Grim Air.


Cape Grim Baseline Air Pollution Station.
https://research.csiro.au/acc/capabilities/cape-grim-baseline-air-pollution-station/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cape_Grim/Kennaook

 

[Hamiltonian]

 

[Demystifier]

Science fiction made real. Traversable warmhole via classical tunneling:

 

[fresh_42]

I store the sugar I need for everyday purposes (coffee, cooking, etc.) in a peanut butter jar. It is made of plastic. Last time, before I refilled it, I decided to put it into the dishwasher, 50° C. Afterwards, it wasn't 8 cm high anymore, only 6 cm.

Question: How fast will I have to throw it, such that it is 8 cm high again?

 

[Ibix]

Question: How fast will I have to throw it, such that it is 8 cm high again?

Measured length is proportional to $\sqrt{1-v^2/c^2}$, so $i\sqrt{7}c/3$. Good luck!

 

[DrClaude]

https://xkcd.com/2586/

Title text: If you ever see someone using a capital xi in an equation, just observe them quietly to learn as much as you can before they return to their home planet.

I've just had a close encounter of the third kind:

 

[mfb]

I store the sugar I need for everyday purposes (coffee, cooking, etc.) in a peanut butter jar. It is made of plastic. Last time, before I refilled it, I decided to put it into the dishwasher, 50° C. Afterwards, it wasn't 8 cm high anymore, only 6 cm.

Question: How fast will I have to throw it, such that it is 8 cm high again?

It's length contraction, not length expansion. You can accelerate the sugar, however. Be aware that you can't contain it in that state.

 

[fresh_42]

It's length contraction, not length expansion. You can accelerate the sugar, however. Be aware that you can't contain it in that state.

Yes, maybe I should have asked: Given its diameter is 7 cm, 6cm its height, how much sugar will I have to put into it such that spaghettification makes it 2 cm higher?

 

[jbriggs444]

Yes, maybe I should have asked: Given its diameter is 7 cm, 6cm its height, how much sugar will I have to put into it such that spaghettification makes it 2 cm higher?

So the alchemical trick for converting peanut butter into spaghetti is sugar?

 

[kuruman]

So the alchemical trick for converting peanut butter into spaghetti is sugar?

The conversion of peanut butter to spaghetti is not an alchemical trick. Faithful Pastafarians know that It's the first miracle performed by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, praised be his name. May he watch over us and shield us forever and ever, R'amen.

By Niklas Jansson - Android Arts, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=48906232

 

[fresh_42]

The conversion of peanut butter to spaghetti is not an alchemical trick. Faithful Pastafarians know that It's the first miracle performed by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, praised be his name. May he watch over us and shield us forever and ever, R'amen.

View attachment 297737
By Niklas Jansson - Android Arts, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=48906232

No religion, please. This also includes Icelandic trolls and fairies.

 

[phinds]

 

[kuruman]

"grain pulvérisé et champignon de fermentation calorifié sur une source de chaleur à particules chargées"

would be $~\dots$

Spoiler

French toast. (According to Googletranslate)

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Borg]

You weren't supposed to see that.

 

[phinds]

You weren't supposed to see that.

Ah, but the Webb sees all !

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 298002

What is it? I googled, V'ger, Deep thought and the probe from the voyage home.
If it's Star Wars I won't know it besides the death Star, i think that was a sphere.

 

[fresh_42]

What is it?

A Borg cube.

 

[Wrichik Basu]

What is it? I googled, V'ger, Deep thought and the probe from the voyage home.
If it's Star Wars I won't know it besides the death Star, i think that was a sphere.

Seems to be the Borg cube:



It's a kilometre-wide spaceship. It flies, shoots, has a lot of robots in it.

(I, too, googled this)

 

[gmax137]

Resistance is futile...

 

[Bystander]

A Borg cube.

Oh.

 

[jack action]

 

[Baluncore]

This reminds me that; all the really big mistakes we make in life, are made in the very short period between the first and second childhoods.

 

[Klystron]

Klystron invited Magnetron to a party but lost track of time.

K: Sorry, Maggie. I'm Oh so late. Time just drifts.

M: No, K. I oscillate. You are just a big TWiT.

[Explanation for mathematicians: both devices are radio frequency oscillators. Klystrons, also called traveling wave tubes, utilize electron drift in 'bunches' while cavity magnetrons rely on cycloid rotation of electrons in transverse magnetic field... (@WWGD falls asleep).

 

[pinball1970]

Klystron invited Magnetron to a party but lost track of time.

K: Sorry, Maggie. I'm Oh so late. Time just drifts.

M: No, K. I oscillate. You are just a big TWiT.

[Explanation for mathematicians: both devices are radio frequency oscillators. Klystrons, also called traveling wave tubes, utilize electron drift in 'bunches' while cavity magnetrons rely on cycloid rotation of electrons in transverse magnetic field... (@WWGD falls asleep).

That deserves some sort of mention. For geek factor at the very least.

 

[BillTre]

I like the "with ease" part.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[gmax137]

I like the "with ease" part.

Look at the telephone, when was this, ~1910? Now you know where Buck Henry got the idea for his Cone of Silence.

 

[kuruman]

Look at the telephone, when was this, ~1910? Now you know where Buck Henry got the idea for his Cone of Silence.

I wonder how he could possibly hear the telephone ring if outside noises are "eliminated".

 

[Baluncore]

More info on the anti-distraction helmet, invented in 1925, here...
https://www.boredpanda.com/anti-dis...oogle&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 298405

I like the "with ease" part.

Its great I want one for the office.

 

[Klystron]

More info on the anti-distraction helmet, invented in 1925, here...
https://www.boredpanda.com/anti-dis...oogle&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

Good catch, as they say in baseball. Gernsbach reputedly introduced his favorite writers, rocketmen, and tinkerers to the joyful bliss of hashish among other ethereal substances.

 

[kuruman]

 

[Jodo]

A machinist buys a used ferris wheel off eBay. He is in the process of disassembling the wheel. For every part he takes off, he then machines a duplicate part from aluminum.
A friend comes along and asks what he is doing.
He replies once finished he will have both a "ferris wheel" and a "non-ferrous wheel".

 

[Jodo]

 

[Jodo]

 

[thegoldbering]

Grim Air.


Cape Grim Baseline Air Pollution Station.
https://research.csiro.au/acc/capabilities/cape-grim-baseline-air-pollution-station/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cape_Grim/Kennaook

I'll counterfeit the bejesus out of this product! xD

 

[thegoldbering]

View attachment 297480

"that crowbar" OMG it made me laugh so hard xD!

 

[phinds]

I suspect this has been posted on PF before. I know I've heard it before but a friend just sent it to me. Don't know if it's a true story or apocryphal but it's worth repeating in either case.The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied:

"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed. The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use.

On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer."

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sqroot (l / g)."

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."

"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

The student was Niels Bohr, the only person from Denmark to win the Nobel prize for Physics.

 

[DrGreg]

Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground.

Time to recycle a joke I've told before:

For sale: 1 barometer, dropped off the roof of a skyscraper. No pressure.

 

[kuruman]

$\dots~$ and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."

I first heard it as an undergraduate many decades ago without mention of Bohr's name. This version is probably apocryphal and embellished. The giveaway: Bohr would not convert millibars into feet.

Edit: I found this on the web.

 

[jack action]

 

[pinball1970]

I first heard it as an undergraduate many decades ago without mention of Bohr's name. This version is probably apocryphal and embellished. The giveaway: Bohr would not convert millibars into feet.

Edit: I found this on the web.

That story reminds me of the hell and souls story.

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

How do you tell the gender of an ant?

Spoiler: Answer

Drop it in water.
If it sinks, GIRL ANT.

If it floats ...

 

[jack action]