Collection of Science Jokes P2

[mfb]

Celsius could never treat Fahrenheit like an adult, because Fahrenheit becoming 50 was like 10 to Celsius.

 

[davenn]

In the "light" of this thread ...
https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/betelgeuse-unusual-dimming-ready-to-supernova.982440/

was tempted to post in that thread

 

[Ibix]

"If you believe in psychokinetic powers, please raise my hand."

-Steven Wright, Kurt Vonnegut, and Emo Philips-

@berkeman telepathically influenced me to repost that here (I think it counts as a science joke).

 

[fresh_42]

"If you believe in psychokinetic powers, please raise my hand."

Easy. @berkeman have you found the five hundred dollars on top of the cupboard in the kitchen?

 

[davenn]

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

"High impedance air gap" - I'm going to remember that one.

 

[WWGD]

I don't think the prime factorization problem can be solved, but then again, I am not (Peter) Shor...

 

[mfb]

SpaceX uses "rapid unscheduled disassembly" for "it blew up".

We'll get a rapid scheduled disassembly in a week (in-flight abort test of the capsule, the remaining rocket is expected to blow up afterwards).

 

[jack action]

Who wants to do a vehicle dynamics analysis for a new concept?

 

[Keith_McClary]

Who wants to do a vehicle dynamics analysis for a new concept?

It looks to me like the camper wheel is stuck against the pump island curb.

 

[mfb]

Who wants to do a vehicle dynamics analysis for a new concept?

Sounds like a homework problem. When the car accelerates at 3 m/s² in a straight line, what is the initial torque at the front connection? Which part hits the ground first, and at which speed?

 

[Ibix]

Sounds like a homework problem. When the car accelerates at 3 m/s² in a straight line, what is the initial torque at the front connection? Which part hits the ground first, and at which speed?

...and calculate the rise in his insurance premiums when it happens. Express your answer using standard form.

 

[Tom.G]

Would love to watch him (trying) to back that camper into make the utility hookups!

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

I hope they don't go for a coffee break and drink the contents of a petri dish.

 

[fresh_42]

Did you know that you can't get astronomers for speeding?
No astronomer has ever been faster than 0.00004.

 

[mfb]

As seen by some of the particles they study astronomers are traveling at over 99.9999% the speed of light.

 

[Keith_McClary]

The Multiple Universes Theory perfectly explains those photos of me with another woman, Linda – by Professor H.H. Montgomery
ERIC TURKIENICZ, The Beaverton

 

[davenn]

 

[jack action]

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

What sits on your shoulder and goes "Pieces of nine!"?

A parroty error.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

Did you hear about the Star Wars character who is 3 parts carbon, 1 part phosphorous and 1 part oxygen?

C3PO

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WhatIsGravity]

A mathematician cop pulls over a metaphorically speeding and swerving physicist, but thankfully he let's her go with a warning. Please don't drink and derive.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

I know this feeling :