Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Hamiltonian]

 

[BillTre]

Where the Stupid People are:

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Hamiltonian]

 

[Keith_McClary]

Am I missing something?
EDIT: I was just seeing the JPG filename.

 

[mfb]

We are missing non-zero entries in that matrix.

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

Who said squaring the circle was impossible?

 

[Demystifier]

 

[mfb]

Who said squaring the circle was impossible?

View attachment 292094

Gives a new meaning to "das Runde muss ins Eckige" ("the round one has to go into the angled/square one", originally referring to the round ball that has to go into the rectangular goal).

 

[fresh_42]

Gives a new meaning to "das Runde muss ins Eckige" ("the round one has to go into the angled/square one", originally referring to the round ball that has to go into the rectangular goal).

Or as our American users would say: The egg must go between the suspenders.

 

[berkeman]

Or as our American users say: The egg must go between the suspenders.

WITW? I missed the memo, I guess...

 

[fresh_42]

WITW? I missed the memo, I guess...

 

[256bits]

View attachment 292164

That one class he skipped back when in quantum physics probabilities and Bells theorem would have come in handy now, the guy's thinking.

 

[Jarvis323]

View attachment 292164

If you were to force me to pick from {a,b,c,d} randomly, of course I'd get it wrong. So the answer I would choose, logically, is 0%. And even if I were to have chosen 0%, randomly, then 0% would have still have been the wrong answer, logically, thus 0% is the right answer. And that doesn't contradict the fact that it wouldn't be if I were to have chosen it randomly, which I didn't. Does it?

 

[Demystifier]

Does it?

The logical paradox arises from self-reference ("... this question ..."), similarly to the liar paradox or Russell's antinomy.

 

[fresh_42]

Life on Mars is confirmed!

Nasa received a message:

 

[jbriggs444]

View attachment 292246

@PeterDonis is moonlighting as a meter maid?

 

[mfb]

It's an absolute nightmare, Mars has more abandoned vehicles than the total road surface can carry.

 

[Bandersnatch]

Reading about Killing vectors is like reading a synopsis to a noir murder mystery. There is a killer on the loose, who calls himself Vector. His modus operandi is to transport the bodies of his victims away from the site of the murder while preserving the isometry of the scene. He's been interrogated by the police many times, but always gets away with derivative lies. The detective investigating the killings is called Riemann. He's having an affair with a femme fatale played by Christina Ricci, whose curves cause tension. They have a meeting space at the flat of Riemann's mate Minkowski.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Arjan82]

Reading about Killing vectors is like reading a synopsis to a noir murder mystery. There is a killer on the loose, who calls himself Vector. His modus operandi is to transport the bodies of his victims away from the site of the murder while preserving the isometry of the scene. He's been interrogated by the police many times, but always gets away with derivative lies. The detective investigating the killings is called Riemann. He's having an affair with a femme fatale played by Christina Ricci, whose curves cause tension. They have a meeting space at the flat of Riemann's mate Minkowski.

This mister Killing has also got fields named after him. But Killing fields are quite something else... (not really a joke...)

 

[sysprog]

This mister Killing has also got fields named after him. But Killing fields are quite something else... (not really a joke...)

Yeah, at first glance, I thought I'd be reading a Killing joke $-$ if not a play on the name/word meaning, perhaps, e.g., one playing on a pseudo-Riemannian vector element shown to be infinitesimally contributory to a real Riemannian manifold.

 

[Borg]

 

[jack action]

The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.

 

[MikeeMiracle]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

View attachment 292898

This reminded me of my physics teacher in school nine years back. He used to crack many jokes while teaching, and this was one of them. Thanks for bringing back some memories!

 

[fresh_42]

Officer: "I smell alcohol. Are you drunk?"
Physicist: "Not yet."
Officer: "What do you mean by not yet?"
Physicist: "As long as you don't measure me, I will promise not to collapse! Can I go now?"

 

[sysprog]

Officer: "I smell alcohol. Are you drunk?"
Physicist: "Not yet."
Officer: "What do you mean by not yet?"
Physicist: "As long as you don't measure me, I will promise not to collapse! Can I go now?"

Chemist: "But Officer, ethanol is odorless".
Officer: "Get out of the car".
Chemist: (groans) . . .

 

[mfb]

Officer: "I smell alcohol.

The officer already made a measurement.

 

[fresh_42]

The officer already made a measurement.

Touché.

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Melbourne Guy]

How about that. I just found out Einstein was a real person. Up until now, I'd thought he was a theoretical physicist!

 

[Keith_McClary]

https://dilbert.com/strip/2021-12-07

 

[Keith_McClary]

Via @ohwilleke blog.

 

[Hamiltonian]

 

[Borg]

 

[Borg]

 

[Bandersnatch]

 

[mfb]

That happens when you replace factorials by the Gamma function and use it outside of the integers.

Gamma(3/2) = sqrt(pi)/2.

 

[jack action]

 

[Bandersnatch]

View attachment 294284​

Cards for cosmologists:

and astronomers:

 

[DrClaude]

I love Zach Weinersmith
https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/science-2

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

"To every complex problem, there is a simple, and easily understandable, but wrong solution."

 

[Ibix]

A friend used to comment (usually when we'd screwed up a homework sheet) that there is no problem so complex that it cannot, when looked at in the right way, become yet more complex.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]