Collection of Science Jokes P2

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

Yo mama so fat she has mass whether the Higgs Boson exists or not (source: http://www.jokes4us.com/yomamajokes/yomamasciencejokes.html)

How ironic. The only particles where the mass is not expected to come from the Higgs boson are neutrinos, the lightest massive partices.Related to the glass: Another science world view

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Yo mama so fat she has mass whether the Higgs Boson exists or not (source: http://www.jokes4us.com/yomamajokes/yomamasciencejokes.html)

Yo mama so fat the Hubble telescope used her gravitational lensing to see the big bang.

Yo mama so fat she's known as the great fattractor.

Yo mama so fat and heavy she ate a black hole.

 

[fresh_42]

What is $1.616 \cdot 10^{-35} \, m\;$?

Spoiler

No. It's not the Planck length.

Spoiler

It's the broccoli wave length at terminal velocity in atmospheric free fall.

 

[mfb]

Terminal velocity implies interactions with the environment, which quickly lead to decoherence.

 

[davenn]

a little astronomy comedy from days gone by ... used to enjoy Pink panther cartoons when I was a kid


there is, in this cartoon, ( as in all cartoons) a number of serious breaking of physics laws

 

[DennisN]

Very funny blog post about a ridiculously volatile compound:
Things I Won’t Work With: Azidoazide Azides, More Or Less (Derek Lowe)[PLAIN]http://blogs.sciencemag.org/...wont_work_with_azidoazide_azides_more_or_less[/PLAIN]

Some quotes:

It’s time for another dispatch from the land of spiderweb-cracked blast shields and “Oh well, I never liked that fume hood, anyway”
[...]
The most alarming of them has two carbons, fourteen nitrogens, and no hydrogens at all, a formula that even Klapötke himself, who clearly has refined sensibilities when it comes to hellishly unstable chemicals, calls “exciting”. Trust me, you don’t want to be around when someone who works with azidotetrazoles comes across something “exciting”.
[...]
No, only tiny amounts of this stuff have ever been made, or ever will be. If this is its last appearance in the chemical literature, I won’t be surprised. There are no conceivable uses for it – well, other than blowing up Raman spectrometers, which is a small market – and the number of research groups who would even contemplate a resynthesis can probably be counted on one well-armored hand.

 

[mfb]

(That’s been settled by their empirical formulas, which generally look like typographical errors)

C₂N₁₄[/size]

 

[DrClaude]

I sometimes get documents that print out like this when a PDF has a font problem

 

[DrClaude]

 

[davenn]

yup, can fix anything with WD40 and duct tape

 

[fresh_42]

From which number on is $2^n > n^3$ ?

Spoiler: Mathematician

There is certainly an N.

Spoiler: Engineer

Probably $10$, so let's say $20$.

Spoiler: Experimentalist

Works with the nested intervals $(2,20),(4,16),(8,12),(9,11), \ldots$ and ends up with $9.93953514142690(5)\pm3 \cdot 10^{-15}$.

Spoiler: Computer Scientist

$1$ kByte $= 1,000 = 10^3$ ergo $10$.

Spoiler: Theoretical Physicist

It's $\log \sqrt[3]{2} = \frac{1}{n} \int_1^n dx \cdot x^{-1} -dn$

Spoiler: Economist

Nonsense. Everybody knows that $2 < 3$.

 

[mfb]

We are missing someone who tests n=1 and concludes that the validity starts at n=1.

 

[fresh_42]

We are missing someone who tests n=1 and concludes that the validity starts at n=1.

Sounds definitely like a politician in a talk show. I always forget about this species ...

 

[davenn]

View attachment 113854

found another duct tape giggle ...

 

[Stavros Kiri]

We are missing someone who tests n=1 and concludes that the validity starts at n=1.

I was one of them. May be we can get our own spoiler! Alright, yeah! ...

 

[Stavros Kiri]

From which number on is $2^n > n^3$ ?

Spoiler: Mathematician

There is certainly an N.

Spoiler: Engineer

Probably $10$, so let's say $20$.

Spoiler: Experimentalist

Works with the nested intervals $(2,20),(4,16),(8,12),(9,11), \ldots$ and ends up with $9.93953514142690(5)\pm3 \cdot 10^{-15}$.

Spoiler: Computer Scientist

$1$ kByte $= 1,000 = 10^3$ ergo $10$.

Spoiler: Theoretical Physicist

It's $\log \sqrt[3]{2} = \frac{1}{n} \int_1^n dx \cdot x^{-1} -dn$

Spoiler: Economist

Nonsense. Everybody knows that $2 < 3$.

Cynic logician or rigorous mathematician:
The statement of the problem is inaccurate (what is n ? , domain etc. ...)

 

[EnumaElish]

The old "good physicist/bad physicist" routine at the lab.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

 

[davenn]

the biggest biology question finally answered ...

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 114560

Or photoshop has a phan ...

 

[dkotschessaa]

I really have a love/hate relationship with Schrödinger jokes.

-Dave K

 

[mfb]

You don't know until you see the jokes?

 

[DennisN]

You don't know until you see the jokes?

You beat me to it .

 

[fresh_42]

And now for something completely different.
(Will say, no joke, rather a true story, but funny nevertheless.)

After WWI women were first accepted to academic careers, so Lise Meitner could habilitate. Her introductory lecture has been in the then still mysterious field of astrophysics and was titled: "Problems of cosmic physics".
A reporter thought this cannot be - presented by a woman. Therefore he titled in the newspaper:
"Problems of cosmetic physics."

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Her introductory lecture has been in the then still mysterious field of astrophysics and was titled: "Problems of cosmic physics".
A reporter thought this cannot be - presented by a woman. Therefore he titled in the newspaper:
"Problems of cosmetic physics."

Or he didn't know what 'cosmic' meant ... so "he fixed it" ! ...

 

[davenn]

for those amongst us working in accelerator physics
which way to run ??!

 

[mfb]

... what?

There is no such thing, and the LHC cannot even be switched on with people in the ring.

 

[fresh_42]

... what?

There is no such thing, and the LHC cannot even be switched on with people in the ring.

Oops.

 

[davenn]

Oops.

results of a black hole that escaped

 

[fresh_42]

results of a black hole that escaped

Seems it all started in a garage ... and ended there.

 

[davenn]

( yes I know there is a date issue ... for the sake of a giggle, live with it )

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 114643( yes I know there is a date issue ... for the sake of a giggle, live with it )

Are these main-stream peer-reviewed discoveries? Please provide valid reference. Lol

 

[Buckleymanor]

Talking about date issue.
Bought some rocket salad a couple of days ago it went off before I could eat it.

 

[dkotschessaa]

Talking about date issue.
Bought some rocket salad a couple of days ago it went off before I could eat it.

I had the Chef's salad. Man he was pissed.

(Yes, not a science joke, but I had to reply...)

-Dave K

 

[fresh_42]

I had the Chef's salad. Man he was pissed.

(Yes, not a science joke, but I had to reply...)

-Dave K

Won't happen to me. I prefer Waldorf salad

 

[mfb]

I can't eat mixed salad.

I'm on a low-entropy diet.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I had the Chef's salad. Man he was pissed.

"Caesar" is mad too ...

I'm on a low-entropy diet.

Good one! Lol

 

[fresh_42]

I'm on a low-entropy diet.

Currently, the theory that carbohydrate and protein rich foods should be eaten separately is considered "unfounded" because it ignores the fact that carbohydrate rich foods contain significant amounts of protein.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hay_diet#Studies

 

[mfb]

Another example for the list of "no matter how hard you try, you can't make up things so crazy that no one did that before".

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Another example for the list of "no matter how hard you try, you can't make up things so crazy that no one did that before".

Why? I didn't see the term

low-entropy diet

anywhere there or elsewhere! ...
So I think you have the franchise on that ... and you will be quoted thereafter! ...

Because just "Food Combining Diet" and "Food Combinations" is an old and somewhat different kind of story, with several approaches and theories (not just the ones mentioned there in the wiki ref), some very new and modern ones too ...
[Believe it or not I am somewhat of an "expert" in Nutrition ...]

 

[mfb]

Google finds "low-entropy diet" literally in some "cure cancer" crackpot environments..

 

[DrGreg]

Bought some rocket salad a couple of days ago it went off before I could eat it.

Salad hygiene. How difficult can that be? It's not rocket science!

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Google finds "low-entropy diet" literally in some "cure cancer" crackpot environments..

If we don't take it down to the molecular level, in terms of food combinations it would mean (as ~ in your original) "to basically eat one type of ingredient or food (organized food)".
Then of course you starve to death! ... which would definitely increase the entropy ... Ooops!

 

[nikkkom]

> is there a clear answer?

How would you know if there were?

I would measure absorption of 400-800nm light by any available answers. If I find one with very low absorption, then that answer is clear.

 

[Ostrados]

 

[ChrisVer]

I would measure absorption of 400-800nm light by any available answers. If I find one with very low absorption, then that answer is clear.

sorry, but your wavelength range is not right...

 

[rootone]

Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar and doesn’t.