Collection of Science Jokes P2

[hideelo]

Although, I believe the PC term is temporaly challeneged

 

[BillTre]

Biologists have found good evidence for the Higgs Bison.
Being simultaneously both a science joke and a science non-joke, it may be in a superposition state (until observed).

 

[DennisN]

https://67.media.tumblr.com/f841d74282407032ccea892e2efc67aa/tumblr_nh0m9cTMMT1ra7rzwo1_250.jpg

 

[DennisN]

Repost because I like it (I posted this joke in Random Thoughts when the Higgs Boson was in the news in 2012)

 

[fresh_42]

https://scontent-amt2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14729098_796635320478073_7676971311976341738_n.jpg?oh=18edb1ddcfec4683e67edb1f6085b26a&oe=589C1D82

 

[mfb]

With today's amount of electronics in cars, that could actually work.

 

[DennisN]

I got this link from a friend today...

Tombstones for Scientists
(originated by John Hubisz, North Carolina State)

Here lies Isaac Newton - A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

Here lies Euclid - or at least his elements.

Here lies Heisenberg - maybe. If we indeed know precisely where
he was, we would not know where he is going.

Here lies Fermat - There isn't room enough for a proper epitaph.

Here lies Clausius - maximizing his entropy.

Here lies Albert Einstein - but his rest mass keeps decreasing.

Here lies Erwin Schrodinger - but without opening the casket, we can't be
sure he's dead.

Here lies J. Willard Gibbs - undergoing a phase change.

Here lies Amedeo Avogadro - damn those moles!

Here lies Antoine Lavoisier - he should have stuck to Chemistry,
but lost his head over taxes.

Here lies Pierre Curie - don't worry, it's a reflected glow.

Here lies Niels Bohr - now in the ground state.

Here lies Irving Langmuir - no longer a Surface Chemist.

John Hubisz has provided a few more that others have sent to him:

Here lies Alessandro Volta - well grounded at last. Prue Schran

Here lies Hans Bethe - He is now undergoing Be-tay decay. Jim Kernohan

Here the body of Ettore Majorana does not lie - his mass is
missing. Gerald Zani

Here lies Pauli - Room for one more. Paul Nord
Here lies Pauli - Spinning in his grave. Andy Gavrin
Here lies Pauli - he can only be in one grave at a time. Aaron Titus

Source: http://web.mst.edu/~gbert/tombstone.html

 

[fresh_42]

How the speed of light changes throughout a cosmologist's day:

Spoiler: ... and they call it constant ...

• 6 a.m. - Wake Up call: $c = \infty$
• 10 a.m. - Morning Lecture: $c = 299.792.458 m/s$
• 14 p.m. - Students' Tutorial: $c = 300.000 km/s$
• 16 p.m. - Working on his publication: $c=1$
• 20 p.m. - at the Bar with colleagues: so da** $slow$

 

[Psinter]

 

[Psinter]

 

[BillTre]

JPL Pumpkin Carving Contest
little movies

 

[DennisN]

 

[Psinter]

Remember to eat your veggies and get some sun. So you can photosynthesis and grow strong.

 

[Kevin McHugh]

Remember to eat your veggies and get some sun. So you can photosynthesis and grow strong.

That's cannabalism!

 

[BillTre]

Local service place.
I hear the Millennium Falcon was serviced here:

 

[mfb]

If you want to drive the car, it either works or does not, but it exists in superposition until you attempt to drive.

 

[DrClaude]

You won't know if the car has been repaired until you open the hood.. Actually, that sounds like mechanics I've come across before...

 

[fresh_42]

Spoiler: Here are translation and links for all who are no QM experts

Full Service=GUT
Auto Repair=Breakthrough in Forward Error Correcting by Quantum Computation
Asian & Domestic=Locality
Brake Service=Bremsstrahlung
Race Car=Alcubierre Drive
Fabrication=Fabric
GM=new accuracy in Determination of Gravitational parameter
Performance Engine=Impulse Drive
Unit 25=$\frac{\hbar}{m_p c^2}$

 

[DaveC426913]

This is clever, but my inner OCD rankles at a few things.

Presumably, the Y-axis represents "amount of knowledge learned".

Pico is the most common type of learning curve, showing a slow start up the curve, followed by a faster curve as you get more familiar, followed by a plateau, presumably as you achieve almost complete knowledge.
Notepad show this but you achieve max knowledge very quickly.

Now look at vi. The implication here is that you instantly acquire 100% the moment you touch it.

Maybe that's the intent, but I think it's the other way around. I think the vi curve should go straight across the X-axis. ie. you will never, ever understand vi at all (and will always need the cheat sheet).

 

[DaveC426913]

Ah, I figured it out.

I was assuming the X-axis was time. It's not.
It's more like productivity.
Now, if you look at vi, you can see that productivity remains near zero no matter how much knowledge you acquire about it, until you acquire 100%.

 

[collinsmark]

Today's SMBC:

For some background, the conversation starts with "prove that you exist as a conscious and sentient being." René Descartes does quite well there with I think, therefore I am. Easy enough. That said, and moving forward, proving that somebody else exists is quite a bit more difficult.

Alan Turing brings a lot to the table with the Turing Test, introducing the possibility that (perhaps in the future) synthetic beings may be sentient.

John Searle counters that with the Chinese Room. At face value, this seems like the death knell for artificial intelligence. Until that is, one considers the Chinese room counterarguments: consciousness and sentience are emergent properties of exactly that sort of thing.

Anyway, that's all I'm going to say. Philosophy is not suitable for discussion on Physics Forums (PF), so let's leave it at that. Let's just enjoy the humor of Zach Weinersmith with his SMBC:

[Source: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/john-searle39s-last-words]

 

[jtbell]

Local service place.
I hear the Millennium Falcon was serviced here:

View attachment 108607

Maybe he learned his trade here:

YOU GET [...] a year's supply of Preparation A for your atomic piles

 

[DrGreg]

Talking of mechanics:

CAR MECHANIC: "I wanted to be an actor, but I couldn't get the parts."

 

[DrClaude]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/why-i-couldn39t-be-a-math-teacher

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

Yes, sometimes the only way to become attractive.

 

[DennisN]

 

[kith]

$$\lim_{\omega \to \infty} 3 = 8$$

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

What black holes do according to movies:
http://bloggybottomboy.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/funny-graphs-black-holes.jpg

 

[Rebeca]

http://qph.is.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-ad91d0dfe2be80b04f94f027b1f10e28?convert_to_webp=true

Lol, I like that one

 

[DaveC426913]

Lol, I like that one

Oh the apropos-ity.

 

[davenn]

Oh the apropos-ity.

apropos-ity / aproposity

not a word I was familiar with, had to google it ... but before that I could hint at the meaning Dave

 

[Hercuflea]

Ah, I figured it out.

I was assuming the X-axis was time. It's not.
It's more like productivity.
Now, if you look at vi, you can see that productivity remains near zero no matter how much knowledge you acquire about it, until you acquire 100%.

I interpreted the curve as the difficulty of learning the software as a function of time.

 

[DaveC426913]

I interpreted the curve as the difficulty of learning the software as a function of time.

But if time is the X-axis, that means the difficulty of learning starts OhhhIseeitnow

 

[DaveC426913]

apropos-ity / aproposity

Wait - there's really such a word?
Huh!

 

[davenn]

Wait - there's really such a word?
Huh!

apropos

http://www.bing.com/search?q=apropos+definition&src=IE-SearchBox&FORM=IENTSR&pc=EUPP_

note the adjective use ... :)

 

[DaveC426913]

apropos

http://www.bing.com/search?q=apropos+definition&src=IE-SearchBox&FORM=IENTSR&pc=EUPP_

note the adjective use ... :)

Yeah, I just needed the active voice instead of the passive voice.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

Ok, the last one for today...

 

[fresh_42]

Ok, the last one for today...

You mean Alexey Pajitnov is simply the reincarnation of Dimitri Mendeleev ... sounds reasonable ...

 

[fresh_42]

Just read:
"Engineer, a person who does precise guess work based on sketchy data supplied by people of questionable knowledge. (cp. magician, enchanter)"

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[davenn]

 

[DennisN]