Collection of Science Jokes P2

  • Thread starter Thread starter Greg Bernhardt
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Jokes Science
AI Thread Summary
The discussion revolves around a collection of science-related jokes and humorous anecdotes shared among forum members. A notable joke features a mathematician with a dog and a cow who are claimed to be knot theorists, leading to a playful exchange with a bartender. Other jokes include puns related to physics, such as Heisenberg's uncertainty principle and light-hearted takes on mathematical concepts. The conversation also touches on the nature of humor in science, with members explaining the nuances of certain jokes, particularly those involving mathematical notation. Additionally, there are references to classic jokes that have circulated over the years, illustrating how humor can bridge complex scientific ideas with everyday life. Overall, the thread highlights the community's appreciation for clever wordplay and the joy of sharing science humor.
  • #3,001
Screenshot 2023-04-06 at 9.00.56 AM.png
 
  • Haha
Likes pinball1970
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #3,002
pinball1970 said:
We don't have guns in the UK
But we do in Australia.
Too many cats, not enough recipes.
 
  • Haha
Likes pinball1970
  • #3,003
DaveC426913 said:
The writing?
The napkin?
The yellow band-aid-with-a-face-thing?

disclaimer: I still haven't spotted the science joke in that picture ...
 
  • #3,004
Filip Larsen said:
disclaimer: I still haven't spotted the science joke in that picture ...
Its in the juxtaposition of sushi being made of extinct animals from ~450 MYA.
 
  • Like
Likes Filip Larsen
  • #3,005
BillTre said:
Its in the juxtaposition of sushi being made of extinct animals from ~450 MYA.
Wiwaxia, Anomalocaris, Hallucinogenia, Opabinia...
Just the ones I know without having to look them up.

Post #2997.
 
  • #3,007
  • Like
Likes pinball1970, jack action and fresh_42
  • #3,008
Screenshot 2023-04-08 at 7.59.54 AM.png
 
  • #3,009
Screenshot 2023-04-14 at 8.30.52 AM.png
 
  • Like
Likes pinball1970, DrClaude, collinsmark and 1 other person
  • #3,010
Screenshot 2023-04-15 at 10.41.39 AM.png
 
  • Like
Likes pinball1970, Grelbr42, collinsmark and 5 others
  • #3,011
recipe.png

Tooltip text: It says to cut the onions into 1/4" slices, but I'd better correct for length contraction.​
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes DennisN, Wrichik Basu, DaveE and 4 others
  • #3,012
jack action said:
View attachment 325475
Tooltip text: It says to cut the onions into 1/4" slices, but I'd better correct for length contraction.​
PERFECT! I mean hilarious. But the tooltip makes it perfect.
 
  • #3,013
The Director of the largest most prestigious international research institute invites senior staff to discuss a pressing problem with translating and publishing STEM articles and papers. Common expressions among members in one language group do not translate properly into other languages, often due to cultural differences or the convoluted nature of puns. The Director institutes new policy.

Director: "Henceforth, arbitrary colloquial expressions, attempts at levity, literary allusions and culturally specific embellishments will be deleted from publications before translation and review."

Staffer: "Director. Does this rule exclude similes and metaphors?"

Director: "Yes. Similes, metaphors, the whole nine yards!".
 
  • Like
  • Love
Likes pinball1970, Grelbr42 and Bystander
  • #3,014
effect_size.png
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes DennisN, Wrichik Basu, russ_watters and 2 others
  • #3,015
1682736311918-png.png
 
  • Wow
  • Skeptical
Likes Grelbr42, collinsmark and phinds
  • #3,016
_nc_ohc=J_bVTTXUgnoAX9DXORZ&_nc_ht=scontent-fra3-1.jpg
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes pinball1970, DennisN, Wrichik Basu and 5 others
  • #3,017
From Facebook today:

1682981366212.png
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes DennisN, Wrichik Basu, Grelbr42 and 2 others
  • #3,018
Screenshot 2023-05-02 at 5.20.21 AM.png
 
  • Like
Likes pinball1970, DennisN and jack action
  • #3,019
Screenshot 2023-05-03 at 10.52.54 AM.png
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes pinball1970, DennisN, collinsmark and 2 others
  • #3,021
_nc_ohc=yZLOojaseiAAX9v4EG8&_nc_ht=scontent-fra5-1.jpg
 
  • Like
  • Informative
  • Love
Likes TonyStewart, Grelbr42, collinsmark and 8 others
  • #3,022
lawyer, an accountant and a physicist are discussing, over a beer, whether life is better with a wife or with a girlfriend.
“A wife is better,” declares the lawyer, “because of the family support and the help she’ll be to your career.”
“Nonsense,” says the accountant. “A girlfriend is better: you can keep your independence and go out with your friends more.”
They turn to the physicist, who says, “It’s better to have both. That way, the wife thinks you’re with the girlfriend, the girlfriend thinks you’re with the wife, and meanwhile you can be down at the lab!”
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Love
Likes TonyStewart, DennisN, jack action and 4 others
  • #3,023
Alice and Bob, coworkers in the University of Chicago physics department, were carrying on an affair. Due to their schedules their meetups were few and far between, in out of the way places, and so they tended to "make the most" of those times.

One Friday night they met at a bar near campus. They sat in a booth in the worst-lit corner of the bar. Since it had been over a month since they'd been together, and so after a few drinks, hugs turned to kisses, then kisses turned to fondling, and things progressed to things more and more intimate. I won't include all of their developments here -- this isn't the place for that sort of explicit language -- but suffice to say that after a brief period of time they were engaged in two incompatible sexual acts simultaneously.

The bartender was completely confused. He happened to know that one of the regulars in the bar that night was a researcher in the physics department, so he asked the scientist what Alice and Bob were doing.

"Well", replied the scientist, “it’s what we call a super position.”

 
  • Like
Likes DennisN and BillTre
  • #3,024
Did you know a liter of water weighs more than a liter of butane? It's because butane is a lighter fluid.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes TonyStewart, Ibix, DennisN and 1 other person
  • #3,025
_nc_ohc=OcycMHFliuoAX-Ac-DK&_nc_ht=scontent-fra5-1.jpg
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes TonyStewart, Wrichik Basu, Grelbr42 and 2 others
  • #3,026
It's a known fact that 100 pounds of feathers weighs more than 100 pounds of lead.

It's because when you carry the feathers you also carry the memory of what you did to all those birds.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes Wrichik Basu, Grelbr42 and phinds
  • #3,027
_nc_ohc=djSY7M4vs6wAX8mfAP5&_nc_ht=scontent-fra3-1.jpg
 
  • Like
Likes TonyStewart, gmax137, BillTre and 1 other person
  • #3,029
Screenshot 2023-05-18 at 8.27.26 AM.png
 
  • Like
  • Wow
  • Haha
Likes TonyStewart, Grelbr42, jack action and 4 others
  • #3,030
Screenshot 2023-05-18 at 8.30.53 AM.png
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Love
Likes collinsmark, Borg, Grelbr42 and 1 other person
  • #3,031
_nc_ohc=4C8UNcqXzNkAX91BFmq&_nc_ht=scontent-fra3-1.jpg
 
  • Haha
Likes DrClaude and BillTre
  • #3,032
So, fixing a disc error would be back surgery?
 
  • #3,033
Borg said:
So, fixing a disc error would be back surgery?
I avoid disc compression, it is a pain.
 
  • #3,034
Borg said:
So, fixing a disc error would be back surgery?
Or simply a sudden break. Did you know that the time you have between "I have to pee" and a stop is directly proportional to the age of the youngest child?
 
  • #3,035
Screenshot 2023-05-19 at 7.59.40 AM.png
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes DrClaude and Ibix
  • #3,036
I made an emoji for the super-position of approval and disapproval:

thumb uo:down emoji.png
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Skeptical
Likes Grelbr42, DrClaude, Wrichik Basu and 4 others
  • #3,037
Why Iron Man and not Fe-Male?
 
  • Like
Likes berkeman and BillTre
  • #3,038
jack action said:
Why Iron Man and not Fe-Male?
Sounds like a basis for a Shania Twain cover of AC/DC.
 
  • #3,039
I see normal distribution everywhere:

normal-distribution.jpg
 
  • Like
Likes Swamp Thing, Filip Larsen, Wrichik Basu and 2 others
  • #3,040
dickens-schrodinger.jpg
 
  • Like
Likes Swamp Thing, Wrichik Basu, BillTre and 3 others
  • #3,041
 
  • #3,042
 
  • Like
Likes sandy stone and Bystander
  • #3,043

Entanglement has its advantages!​

HRPnpbKTzR5emuXSrTU4lKrJZS3&_nc_ht=scontent-fra3-1.jpg
 
  • #3,045
From Facebook:

1686758015763.png
 
  • Like
Likes DrClaude, Wrichik Basu, BillTre and 1 other person
  • #3,046
Definitely need that "groan" reaction...
 
  • Like
Likes DrClaude, Wrichik Basu, BillTre and 1 other person
  • #3,047
Many jokes were made of this:

 
  • #3,048
One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"
The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond.
So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question.
The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
There is a long palpable pause…
Then driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says:
"𝐒𝐢𝐫, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞.”

1686884250440.png
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes DeBangis21, phinds, gmax137 and 2 others
  • #3,049
Arrgh! The punch line is in Unicode which doesn't display here!
 
  • #3,050
Tom.G said:
Arrgh! The punch line is in Unicode which doesn't display here!
"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."
 
Back
Top