Collection of Science Jokes P2

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The discussion revolves around a collection of science-related jokes and humorous anecdotes shared among forum members. A notable joke features a mathematician with a dog and a cow who are claimed to be knot theorists, leading to a playful exchange with a bartender. Other jokes include puns related to physics, such as Heisenberg's uncertainty principle and light-hearted takes on mathematical concepts. The conversation also touches on the nature of humor in science, with members explaining the nuances of certain jokes, particularly those involving mathematical notation. Additionally, there are references to classic jokes that have circulated over the years, illustrating how humor can bridge complex scientific ideas with everyday life. Overall, the thread highlights the community's appreciation for clever wordplay and the joy of sharing science humor.
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Physics news on Phys.org
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Orodruin said:
On the topic of internet conversations:

View attachment 338768
Will you have source with that?
 
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Creative Scientific Theories

These are the results of a "Creative Scientific Theories Contest" sponsored by Omni magazine: {phinds note: this must have been a long time ago. Omni stopped publication in 1995]

*GRAND PRIZE WINNER: When a cat is dropped,it always lands on its feet. And when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

*RUNNERS-UP: # 1 If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.

#2 Why yawning is contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.

#3 The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

*HONORABLE MENTIONS: #1 The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."

#2 Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they are landing at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.
 
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  • #3,304
phinds said:
These are the results of a "Creative Scientific Theories Contest" sponsored by Omni magazine: {phinds note: this must have been a long time ago. Omni stopped publication in 1995]
There's a live event called BAH Fest (festival of bad ad hoc hypotheses). It's all about presenting these types of fanciful, almost-plausibly sounding ideas in a conference-like format. With slides and graphs and misappropriated jargon and an occasional equation. Doesn't always work, because despite popular perceptions not everyone in academia is a comedian, but when it lands it's hilarious. Check it out, it's on YouTube.
 
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  • #3,305
Wow. Thanks @Bandersnatch. I watched just one video so far (why dark matter is actually vampires) and it was quite funny.
 
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phinds said:
I watched just one video so far (why dark matter is actually vampires) and it was quite funny.
Hey, that one's really good. Haven't seen it before.
 
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I watched a couple of others. Not nearly as good.
 
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Did we have this one, yet?

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jack action said:
#2700. It is one of my favorites though.
I agree. That shiny cat hits the nail, far better than the usual Schrödinger jokes.
 
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George Foreman doesn't use a Playstation because he is an ex boxer
 
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phinds said:
George Foreman doesn't use a Playstation because he is an ex boxer
I thought he grilled it.
 
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phinds said:
George Foreman doesn't use a Playstation because he is an ex boxer
Lame enough to be in the lame jokes thread, not sciency enough to be in the science jokes thread.
 
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fresh_42 said:
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Their motto: "I think, therefore I scam".
 
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BillTre said:
You laugh! But as kids, we made jokes like "Free Greenland! Away with the ice shield!" Well, it was a joke back then like winning a backhoe ride through the Appalachian Mountains! (mountains adjusted). Only jokes, but here we are!
 
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fresh_42 said:
You laugh! But as kids, we made jokes like "Free Greenland! Away with the ice shield!" Well, it was a joke back then like winning a backhoe ride through the Appalachian Mountains! (mountains adjusted). Only jokes, but here we are!
Well you won't be laughing about the Gulf Stream stopping in a while either!
 
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BillTre said:
Well you won't be laughing about the Gulf Stream stopping in a while either!
The list is actually a lot longer than this. And if it becomes true what he, who must not be named, lately said according to the news channels here, then it will get even worse than that.

I can only hope that I won't experience any of this.
 
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BillTre said:
Also two buttons, but only goes up.
Well. You don't know that for sure.

Step in and stand on that big 'X'.
 
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Orodruin said:
One old Star Trek novel gave the Klingons a visual range of near-UV to yellow. There's a comment in passing that they rather like the look of the all-black Star Fleet Security uniform. 😁
 
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Leap Light Years:

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BillTre said:
Leap Light Years:
I decided to destroy a good joke by looking it up. The IAU defines the light year in terms of the Julian year (365.25 days). No light leap years for you!

https://www.iau.org/public/themes/measuring/ said:
The light-year is roughly equivalent to 0.3 parsecs, and is equal to the distance traveled by light in one Julian year in a vacuum, according to the IAU. To think of it in easily accessible terms, the light-year is 9,460,730,472,580.8 km or 63,241 au.
 
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berkeman said:
That IS a real MATH joke! Not that silly stuff in the corresponding thread.

My favorite math joke:

"What is the difference between a crocodile?"
"A crocodile and what?"
"Wrong question. The answer is "the greener the bite".
What is the difference between a hippo?"
"No idea. The thicker the dangerous?"
"Nonsense! Hippos do not have differences.
What is the difference between a crocodile and a hippo?"
"I give up."
"Easy! Crocodiles have differences, hippos do not."

It isn't the subject that makes a good math joke, it is the principle!
 
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