Collection of Science Jokes P2

[berkeman]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[DrGreg]

I think I'd exclude

as well, on the grounds that it's a spin-½ system.

Spoiler: I don't get it

When you try to put a USB-A plug into a socket, your first attempt usually fails, so you rotate it 180° and it still fails, so you rotate it a further 180° and it succeeds.

 

[phinds]

I think I'd exclude

as well, on the grounds that it's a spin-½ system.

 

[fresh_42]

I think I'd exclude View attachment 348202 as well, on the grounds that it's a spin-½ system.

Spoiler: I don't get it

When you try to put a USB-A plug into a socket, your first attempt usually fails, so you rotate it 180° and it still fails, so you rotate it a further 180° and it succeeds.

Until you run into compatibility problems with A,B,C.

 

[davenn]

Three guys - a medic, an engineer and an IT guy- are arguing over some beers what was the oldest job in the world (except...well you know).
First comes the medic: Guys, God made Eve from Adam rib! That medical procedure. So surgery was the oldest job in the world!
Second the engineer: Guys, God created order from chaos! That's engineering! So engineering was the oldest job in the world!
The IT guy: Gents, who do you think that created the chaos?!
Have fun and a great weekend

 

[davenn]

saw this one elsewhere
The guy who posted it much be really young
As with many of you here, I was using IBM compatibles long before Win3.1 let alone Win98

Win 98 was a respectable version of the Win OS line up ...
I cant quite remember if it was the first that USB was useable on ?

 

[jbriggs444]

Windows? When I was a kid we programmed in PDP-8 assembly code using an ASR-33 with an acoustic coupler at 110 baud and considered ourselves lucky to have paper tape.

 

[phinds]

Yep.

 

[Orodruin]

saw this one elsewhere
The guy who posted it much be really young
As with many of you here, I was using IBM compatibles long before Win3.1 let alone Win98

View attachment 348250

Win 98 was a respectable version of the Win OS line up ...
I cant quite remember if it was the first that USB was useable on ?

Come on, at least do Windows 3.0 … I remember having to switch 5.25” floppies mid-game in DOS games because the 386 didn’t have a hard drive … and I am not even that old …

 

[davenn]

Come on, at least do Windows 3.0 … I remember having to switch 5.25” floppies mid-game in DOS games because the 386 didn’t have a hard drive … and I am not even that old …

I started my computing on a Sinclair ZX81 in the late 70's, then progressed to a Dick Smith System 80 (Aussie computer - Z80 based), the Aussie version of the Tandy TRS80
during the 80's I was building and selling 300-300 / 1200-75 modems
Them were the days hahaha

 

[jrmichler]

My first computer had a 300 baud modem. At 300 baud, characters showed up on the screen at about the speed I could type. Then I spent $300 (over $1000 in today's dollars) to upgrade to 1200 baud. That was an incredible speed increase. And the 286 was "the" hot processor.

 

[fresh_42]

Come on, at least do Windows 3.0 … I remember having to switch 5.25” floppies mid-game in DOS games because the 386 didn’t have a hard drive … and I am not even that old …

If you want to make me feel old, you just need to say something about computers in which Hertz occurs.

 

[jack action]

saw this one elsewhere
The guy who posted it much be really young
As with many of you here, I was using IBM compatibles long before Win3.1 let alone Win98

View attachment 348250

Win 98 was a respectable version of the Win OS line up ...
I cant quite remember if it was the first that USB was useable on ?

I don't get the joke as I'm literally using a keyboard from the same generation as I'm typing this! I'm still using the keyboard I got with the computer I bought - used - in '95-'96. Yes, it has one of these:

​

plugged into one of these:

If it still works and I can plug it in, I still use it! It doesn't matter that the "R" is a vertical line, the "T" is a horizontal line, and the "L" is just a dot in the upper left corner.

Up until I bought this computer in 2018, I still had the 3½" floppy on my previous computer, which came from the same '95-'96 computer. Yes, I was still using it* to transfer backups (yes, backing up documentS with a 3½ floopy) from another computer that only differs from the one in the picture by the fact it is using Windows 2000 (if I remember well, it is a 486 with a 400 Mb hard drive). And I'm using the present tense because it is still plugged in - with its dot matrix printer Epson LX-800 -, sitting on a desk, ready to be used as we speak.

I really don't like to throw away stuff.

---

[*] Funny story, using a 3½ floppy was so normal to me, that I used one to present files for an ad I wanted to buy from my local paper about 15 years ago. The employee was surprised and wasn't sure if they had a 3½ floppy drive in the workplace. Later on, the ad designer told me she had a 3½ floppy external drive that she was going to throw away. She added, "I guess I will keep it a little longer." That's when I realized I might not have been as hip as I would have thought.

 

[fresh_42]

These were the times when you could put your keyboard in the dishwasher!

 

[Orodruin]

These were the times when you could put your keyboard in the dishwasher!

You still can!

(You just have to remove it before you put the dishwasher on or it breaks …)

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 348326​

...that said, the main way I find that people at work are PhDs is if anyone tells a "while I was doing my PhD" anecdote, suddenly everyone else finds a reason to mention theirs.

 

[davenn]

 

[berkeman]

 

[davenn]

The server is “down”….literally.

 

[davenn]

IT Support hahaha

 

[Ibix]

The server is “down”….literally.

View attachment 348510

It probably crashed too.

 

[davenn]

It probably crashed too.

some one didnt bolt the rack to the wall overly well
Wonder how long it lasted before it fell off ?

 

[Baluncore]

Wonder how long it lasted before it fell off ?

Since before the wall was first painted, maybe a couple of tech generations.
It was probably pulled off the wall by the accumulated weight of undocumented disused cables.

 

[DrGreg]

some one didnt bolt the rack to the wall overly well

Should have used butterfly fixings.

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

The server is “down”….literally.

View attachment 348510

A colleague from the hardware maintenance unit once told me that he regularly had the following dialogue with field technicians:

Technician: "My laptop crashed."
Service: "How high?"

(It sounds a bit better in German where "abstürzen" = accidentally falling from a great height is used for "crash". German distinguishes whether an airplane crashes into a tanker truck on the ground or crashes by falling from flight level.)

 

[Orodruin]

It sounds a bit better in German where "abstürzen" = accidentally falling from a great height is used for "crash". German distinguishes whether an airplane crashes into a tanker truck on the ground or crashes by falling from flight level.

Interesting. The Swedish counterpart would be “att störta” would not be used for server crashes.

 

[fresh_42]

Interesting. The Swedish counterpart would be “att störta” would not be used for server crashes.

What do you call "Bluescreen"? We use "abstürzen" for any OS crash, server, PC, laptop, or whatever.

 

[Tom.G]

What do you call "Bluescreen"?

BSOD

Spoiler

Blue Screen Of Death

or
OSNA

Spoiler

Oh SH|T! Not Again

 

[phinds]

How to jump start a millennial.

 

[fresh_42]

How to jump start a millennial.
View attachment 348570

I doubt that you could wake me up with 9V.

We use those for jump starts:

They will definitely work!

 

[Tom.G]

I doubt that you could wake me up with 9V.

Try a fresh 9V battery on your tongue. Most people kind'a wish they hadn't.

Actually, that's the way I do a quick test when a meter is not available.
'Quick' is the operative word there!

If you can keep it on your tongue with a tingling sensation, it is probably usable. A slight metallic taste is normal. A chemical taste indicates it is leaking and belongs in the trash heap.

Have Fun! (and get strange looks from the un-initiated)
Tom

 

[phinds]

I doubt that you could wake me up with 9V.

Oh, I don't know. I think maybe if a nose ring shorted across a 3v battery it would heat up enough that you would likely notice pretty quickly.

 

[Swamp Thing]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 348326​

Actually, I'd be suspicious of any school that offers a degree in "aplied mathematics".

 

[jtbell]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 348606

I used to have that one as wallpaper (without that headline here and in a far better resolution but I couldn't find the original right now) - green XML file on a black background:

... because viruses don't attack mainframes.

 

[jbriggs444]

Try a fresh 9V battery on your tongue. Most people kind'a wish they hadn't.

It is amazing how well that trick works to condition one's self not to do it again. Once is enough.

It is hard for me to bring a 9V battery close to my tongue. Even when I am confident that it is nearly discharged.