Collection of Science Jokes P2

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

If someone is hotter than you, then you are cooler than them.
- Thermodynamics

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[collinsmark]

Today's (well, yesterday's) xkcd.

Physics Paths

(Source: https://xkcd.com/3155/)

 

[Borg]

Can we auto-reply that to everyone who posts here claiming that they've unified the four forces or proven Einstein wrong?

 

[fresh_42]

Can we auto-reply that to everyone who posts here claiming that they've unified the four forces or proven Einstein wrong?

That's basically why I wrote that one:
https://www.physicsforums.com/insig...side-the-box-versus-knowing-whats-in-the-box/

It was really hard to find a single event where someone had found something out of thin air. Maybe Galois, but he died too young to figure out what he already knew. But certainly not Einstein. He re-derived the Lorentz transformations and generalized Galileo's relativity principle, and the rest of SR is all about the finite speed of light, which had been known earlier. And GR uses others' works from differential geometry.

 

[nuuskur]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

View attachment 366687

But doesn't heat rises only because of gravity? So there's gravity in hell ... interesting.

 

[fresh_42]

But doesn't heat rises only because of gravity? So there's gravity in hell ... interesting.

I think it is because of Teresa Banyan's postulate.

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

True story:

When I was a physics student, one day I attended a mechanics lecture without first studying the chapter. The professor walked in and started talking about canonical coordinates.

At first I thought he meant conical coordinates and assumed he must be drunk.

 

[Demystifier]

 

[jack action]

NEW ELEMENT ADDED TO THE PERIODIC TABLE: ADMINISTRATIUM
Investigators at a major research institution have recently discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium (Ad).

This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having the atomic weight of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.

In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time since, with each reorganization, some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. this hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass".

You will know it when you see it.

 

[Baluncore]

At low temperatures, Ad forms naturally into tangles of flat, flexible crystals, that have a distinctive red colour.

 

[fresh_42]

I know a place where the decay of Ad can be viewed. On the left is a weather park, and on the road are the traces of decay: Start 30 Zone on one side of the road, and End 30 Zone on the other.

 

[fresh_42]

Parallel lines have so much in common…too bad they’ll never meet.

 

[Demystifier]

By the way, this is from the LaTeX book by Lamport.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 366886

By the way, this from the LaTeX book by Lamport.

That is explained on the page at 127.0.0.1

 

[fresh_42]

What’s the fastest liquid on Earth? Milk, because it’s pasteurized before you can even see it.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

That went pastmybrain before I could laugh.

 

[256bits]

And cows always think the grass is greener in the udder side if the fence.

How do we know cows are Christians?

Spoiler: Ans

Ans: Cuz they just love to hang around the pastor

.

 

[berkeman]

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 366950

This is in violation of the Joint WarnerBros/Hanna-Barbera/Disney Convention defining how female cartoon characters are to be depicted.

I have fixed it.

 

[DaveC426913]

Classic Halloween gag, falls under "astronomy" subset.

 

[Borg]

Took a few seconds to get that one.

 

[Ibix]

Took a few seconds to get that one.

Only took me a moment of reflection.