Confessions of My Stupidest Moments: A Humorous Tale of Taking Wrong Turns

[Dadface]

I tend to do stupid things.When I was a youngster I was driving to work one morning when I took a detour through Tottenham.I parked up and walked to a pub that I visited regularly at weekends.It was only when I saw that the pub was closed that I realized where I should have been.I was late for work.

 

[Borek]

This margin is too small to even start the list.

 

[neu]

start my Ph.D. It's v.dull

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

It's a work in progress.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I drove a van along the rode just below the treeline - in the foreground - when the spillway was at full flow. In the shot below, it is probably running at < 20%.

I drove on that road almost every day. Being over a half mile across the river from the discharge ramp, even at full flow I thought the only thing making it across the river was intense overspray; no big deal. But once we got into it... WOW! I knew that I had made a big mistake. I couldn't back up because the visibility was zero and another car was following me. He had to be as blind as I was.

That road was put in back in the 1930's. The next day, it didn't exist anymore. The entire hillside was down to the bedrock.

 

[Danger]

I agree with Borek. There aren't enough electrons in the universe to record the stupid things that I've done.

 

[Pythagorean]

I'm on the bandwagon of space cadets, stupid is my middle name, etc.

I don't even know how I'd quantify which particular stupid decision/action was the stupidest

 

[waht]

When I was nine, my family moved to a new house, and they got a new kitchen cabinet set. One of the cabinets was very tall maybe 8 ft, and very narrow, about 2 ft across and 3 ft deep. Not to mention it was heavy. So when it was placed in the hallway temporarily, I noticed that it was slightly open and I could see a manual laying on the bottom inside the cabinet. Great, so I crawled and stuck my head inside when I realized I had tipped the thing. Luckily my dad was nearby screwing in a light bulb and ran to help when the cabinet began to fall. If he were a second too late, my head would have been decapitated as the door of the cabinet began closing on itself. It would have been a perfect guillotine cut.

 

[JasonRox]

When I was nine, my family moved to a new house, and they got a new kitchen cabinet set. One of the cabinets was very tall maybe 8 ft, and very narrow, about 2 ft across and 3 ft deep. Not to mention it was heavy. So when it was placed in the hallway temporarily, I noticed that it was slightly open and I could see a manual laying on the bottom inside the cabinet. Great, so I crawled and stuck my head inside when I realized I had tipped the thing. Luckily my dad was nearby screwing in a light bulb and ran to help when the cabinet began to fall. If he were a second too late, my head would have been decapitated as the door of the cabinet began closing on itself. It would have been a perfect guillotine cut.

If only is was just a little heavier...

 

[hypatia]

When I was 6, we moved off base and into a real house. We even had a milkman, who I liked very much, after all this man had a seemly endless supply of chocolate milk!
One day I guess I wanted to see where secret stash of chocolate milk was kept, so while he had his back turned, I climbed up the back of the truck, where all the empty bottles were kept. The truck started to take off, and I got scared and tried to climb down, when CRASH, me and the bottles hit the pavement. He thought he had run me over, the poor man was almost in shock. I was bleeding from a lot of little glass cuts, he handed me to my Mom who promptly passed out.
After I was all bandaged up and Mom was feeling better, I told them what I had done. Its my only recall of my Father spanking me. And the milkman..heheh he always gave me a little container of chocolate milk.

 

[Danger]

Jeez, what... close call, alright. I'm not sure that I'd consider it stupid, though. A cabinet like that shouldn't tip over just because of a kid crawling into it, and you had no way of anticipating it.

My youngest brother did a lot of stupid things when he was a kid. He survived them all, only to die of cancer at the age of 69. Probably the dumbest stunt was to put a .22 cartridge on a big rock and hit it with a hammer. He spent the rest of his life with that slug in his leg.

 

[Huckleberry]

I do stupid things all the time. It's no big deal. What is upsetting are the stupid things I should've done, but didn't.

One spectacularly stupid thing I did was to drive across the state of Virginia at 120mph in the middle of the night after making up my mind to break up with a girl and not knowing how I was going to tell her. I saw some police lights on the other side of the highway and then I saw them Wayyy behind me. So I pulled over to get some gas and drove the last 50 or so miles into Norfolk at about 80.

Then there was the forklift jousting in the missile magazine. That was always fun. Boredom is a great motivator for stupidity. No wonder why they wanted to keep us busy all the time.

 

[Office_Shredder]

When I was young I had a pair of toy metal handcuffs which I had lost the key for. After some experimenting, I realized I could open them when they were closed by simply continuing to push it in the closed direction until one half of the cuff had simply passed through the other half. Great! So I put them on, and tried to push the cuff through... of course, this time my wrist was in the way. We had to call the police who had a skeleton key for toy handcuffs (at least one person was thinking : )

 

[Danger]

Then there was the forklift jousting in the missile magazine.

Now that sounds like fun!

We had to call the police who had a skeleton key for toy handcuffs

I hear you. A buddy of mine called me out in my locksmith capacity (after I'd retired) because his son had done the same thing. I had to pick them (but they weren't toy ones). As payment, he gave me the cuffs plus the toy pair that the kid had mistaken them for.

 

[lisab]

...um...I used to hitchhike...yikes!

Only had one real problem doing it, though.

But I can't even say the truly stupid thing I did when I was young...gives me shivers just thinking about it.

 

[wolram]

I never did any thing stupid, at the time before the event they all seemed harmless.

 

[Danger]

I never did any thing stupid

But the sum total of human knowledge was so much smaller back then. We youngsters have the experience of our ancient ancestors to guide us.

 

[wolram]

But the sum total of human knowledge was so much smaller back then. We youngsters have the experience of our ancient ancestors to guide us.

So youngster is the new word for the over 60s? amazing how language gets corrupted over time.

 

[Danger]

Over 60?! I'll have you know, sir, that I'm younger than your dentures.

 

[Bladibla]

Once tried to get a bus ticket from Coventry to London here in england via bus ticket purchased online... not knowing that I had confused 'to' and 'from' on the website and had gotten the ticket for the bus of the opposite direction.

Had to mistakenly wait in the bus stop for an hour more than I should have..until I realized my mistake. doh.

 

[Borek]

Over 60?! I'll have you know, sir, that I'm younger than your dentures.

How come? Your youngest brother died at 69.

 

[Danger]

How come? Your youngest brother died at 69.

Youngest, not younger. He was 19 years older than me. The other 2 and my sister are much older.

 

[Loren Booda]

Bucky, whom I knew in high school, was known for several asinine stunts. Like riding a bike off of a roof, on a dare. Or walking across a boulevard, eyes closed, on a dare. He spent the next few months in a body cast.

Our buddy Willie, voted "Class Partier," started and finished at a party a fifth of liquor, then a second, and attempted a third. He survived. Needless to say, he was an alcoholic, or he would have died. No one, including me, attempted to stop him, but I suggested we keep his mouth unobstructed. He was pathetic. That summer he joined the Navy.

 

[Danger]

he was an alcoholic... ...he joined the Navy.

Isn't that a prerequisite?


Sorry, Huck...

 

[Focus]

Here is a brief list of my highlights,

1) I froze my nipple with a component spray. I thought it would be like a sports spray, but I was dead wrong. My nipple caught frostbite, made a lot of puss and eventually the skin got ripped off.

2) Took about 50 swigs of my friends asthma medicine. I was probably the finest athlete on Earth for about 2 hours.

3) Smoked a rollie made with chili powder. I only took one puff but my lungs felt like they were going to explode for days on end. Don't ever try this!

4) Burnt my hair while leaning over an oven to light a smoke. This was back when I had long hair...

I warn you, don't do any of the things listed above unless you too are an idiot like me.

 

[Danger]

1) I froze my nipple with a component spray.

Please tell me that you're male...

 

[CFDFEAGURU]

I agree wolram, every stupid act I have done seemed like the best idea I ever had at the time. LOL

 

[brewnog]

You know when Indiana Jones rolls under a heavy stone door just before it closes on him, and has time to reach back and grab his hat?

Don't try and replicate that with an electric garage door, whilst drunk, with the safety interlocks defeated. I lost quite a bit of blood that evening. And didn't manage to grab my hat.

 

[Focus]

Please tell me that you're male...

I am indeed male.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I knew a guy who threw a grocery bag about half full of gunpowder into the fireplace. The resulting explosion burned off his eyebrows, eyelashes, and the hair back to the crown of his head. When I called the next day to see how he was doing, he was lying with his face over of a drip pan that was catching the continuous discharge from his nose. His eyes were nearly swollen shut.

This same guy - the brother-in-law of a friend of mine - also admitted that he had once tried slicking willy with Ben Gay.

Speaking of willy, has anyone ever taken a hit from a spark plug wire while leaning over the car? Guess where the first ground path occurs. That's 25,000 volts or more.

Speaking of 25KV, I once took as much up the nose. I was trying to locate a sound and got my face a bit too close to a HV test that I was running.