Here's my loose qualitative definition:
If you can do work against a force, and then "get that work back" later, then the force is conservative. For example, when you lift an object a distance h against gravity, you have to do work F.d = mgh. If you then let the object fall, you get that work back, either in the form of the object's kinetic energy at the bottom, or you can attach the object to a string or pulley and let it do work on something else as it falls.
On the other hand, if you can't "get that work back" later, then the force is non-conservative. For example, if you push a book across a table top, doing work F.d against friction, then let go, the book just stays there. You've effectively "lost" the work you did, and you can't get it back again as kinetic energy of the book, or work done on something else.
"Frictional heat" doesn't count here, because you can't convert the thermal energy completely back to mechanical energy of the object.