Critique Request: Listen to "Rite of Ash" by Cory R

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The discussion revolves around a piece of music intended for portfolio inclusion, with the creator seeking feedback on its quality. Listeners are encouraged to experience the track on high-quality speakers for optimal appreciation. Feedback highlights that while the piece is generally well-received, particularly for its cinematic qualities reminiscent of a movie soundtrack, suggestions for improvement include enhancing the second half with additional bass, drums, or cymbals to elevate its epic feel. There is also a recommendation to incorporate a more gradual build-up in the last third to enhance emotional tension. Overall, the piece is considered strong, with room for refinement.
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I'm thinking of uploading this piece to my portfolio, but I'm not sure if it's up to standards. As always, I'd like as many third part perspectives as I can get so I'm hoping the fine people here at PF with their impeccable tastes could perhaps lend me their ear. Listen to this on good speakers with a lot of volume, as this is a very dynamic track! Takk.

http://soundcloud.com/cory-r/rite-of-ash
 
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hm... not sure what effect you are going for, but to me it sounds like the second half needs some more bass or drums or cymbals or something to make it more epic...
overall pretty good tho, sounds like a movie soundtrack, like a battle or the build up to some grand event.
(though I was not listening on brilliant speakers...)
 
The last third is fine as it is, but it could use more subtle rise, rise, rise, then fall to build up the emotion or tension.

Very nice piece.
 
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