- #1
Wretchosoft
- 64
- 0
First a little background. I'm a 3rd year undergrad in mathematics. By most measures, I've been rather successful up to this point: I'm taking graduate courses, I've coauthored a paper with a professor (currently seeking publication) and am writing a second paper on my own, and I've started going to various national conferences. So I think it's reasonable to say that I could have a successful career in mathematics.
That said, math both brings me a great deal of joy and makes me completely miserable. It's a rather unhealthy relationship. I love working on mathematical problems, but I take every instance of me being unsuccessful in solving a problem as a personal failure and a blow against my intelligence. As one might imagine, this is incredibly emotionally draining, and I have at multiple times throughout my university career considered completely dropping math and going into another, more practical field that I'm less personally invested in. I'm constantly plagued with feelings of self-doubt about my abilities as well, which also doesn't help my emotional well-being. These are all things I don't feel comfortable sharing with my friends or professors, but the cloak of anonymity of the internet makes self-disclosure a little easier.
So I guess the question is, for those of you with more experience in math or other technical subjects, have you had similar feelings? Did they pass? I thought that after I did my research and started getting some recognition, I'd finally stop worrying about these things, but the feelings have persisted.
EDIT: Coming back, the title is a bit too melodramatic for my liking... heh. My prime doubts about going on are related to whether it will be good for me emotionally, not whether I can do the work.
That said, math both brings me a great deal of joy and makes me completely miserable. It's a rather unhealthy relationship. I love working on mathematical problems, but I take every instance of me being unsuccessful in solving a problem as a personal failure and a blow against my intelligence. As one might imagine, this is incredibly emotionally draining, and I have at multiple times throughout my university career considered completely dropping math and going into another, more practical field that I'm less personally invested in. I'm constantly plagued with feelings of self-doubt about my abilities as well, which also doesn't help my emotional well-being. These are all things I don't feel comfortable sharing with my friends or professors, but the cloak of anonymity of the internet makes self-disclosure a little easier.
So I guess the question is, for those of you with more experience in math or other technical subjects, have you had similar feelings? Did they pass? I thought that after I did my research and started getting some recognition, I'd finally stop worrying about these things, but the feelings have persisted.
EDIT: Coming back, the title is a bit too melodramatic for my liking... heh. My prime doubts about going on are related to whether it will be good for me emotionally, not whether I can do the work.
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