Do Women Prefer Taller Guys Over Better Looking Guys?

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The discussion centers on the perception of height and attractiveness in relationships, particularly how women may prefer taller men over those who are more conventionally handsome. Participants share personal experiences, noting that while some women prioritize height, others value personality and self-confidence regardless of stature. There is a debate about the so-called "little man syndrome," with some arguing that short men can be just as secure and pleasant as taller men. Height is acknowledged as a factor in attraction, but many contributors emphasize that overall compatibility and personality traits are more significant. Ultimately, the consensus suggests that while height may influence attraction, it should not overshadow other important qualities in a partner.
  • #31
Dagenais said:
Is there a way to actually physically gain height (safely)?
They can add an inch or so to someone by surgically breaking their legs, holding them apart until new bone grows in between. It's extremely painful since every day or so they stretch it a little further :bugeye:

I guess growth hormones in food unknowingly has been making people larger.
 
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  • #32
Kerrie said:
most short men i have known have what i call "little man syndrome"...they have bad attitudes and a temper

I take such perceptions of attitude with a grain of salt (and that includes my own perceptions). Is it a bad attitude or a realistic take on life? Is it a temper or is it natural frustration? Well, if it's a short guy, then it's a bad attitude and a temper. If it's a tall guy, then it's a realistic take on life and natural frustration. That sort of (il)logic is more common then you think, and happens to a varying extent to everyone. If, for instinctual or irrational reasons, you prefer tall men, you are going to see them in a nicer light. You aren't going to judge short men fairly. The same thing happens to men when it comes to "beautiful" women. Just ask an "ugly" woman how unfair men can be.

I think it's bleedingly obvious that short men are at a disadvantage in the mating game. So are fat men and fat women. So are "ugly" men and "ugly" women. The point is, how are you going to alter your instinctually and culturally derived behaviour to take these obvious facts into account? Are you just going to ignore them, and act like there's a level playing field for everyone? Then you're one insensitive and/or deluded b@stard/b1tch. Or are you going to try and be fair, give everyone a chance, or at least show some sympathy for those who have a difficult time finding partners in the genetic disco. There's too many people wearing blinkers! They need to :bugeye:.
 
  • #33
I'm was either 5'8 or 5'9 last time I checked. I'm currently 16. I'm hoping to be at least 5'10.
 
  • #34
Dagenais said:
Is there a way to actually physically gain height (safely)?

I typed in, "How to get taller" on Google to see what would come up.

This did.

Basically, there is no other way aside from popping pills? :rolleyes:

You could walk on stilts, stand on a ladder, always make sure taller people were standing downhill from you... :biggrin: :smile: :wink:

There's a fair bit of controversy in the scientific community, even about the efficacy of growth hormone for peripubertal children. (peripubertal = around the time of puberty) It seems some parents really get worried if it looks like their children might be short. The problem is, at best, these children might gain an inch or two more than if they did nothing, but since everything is based on a prediction of how tall they might grow, and it could just be that they are those people who would go through that late growth spurt around 19 or 20 rather than at 15 or 16, it's really hard to know for certain the growth hormone has done anything at all. And I have serious doubts of the safety of manipulating hormones to that extent in young person during puberty. If you manipulate one hormone, it can act on so many systems and down-regulate other hormones. Keep in mind, you have to give whopping doses of growth hormone to get any effect. If you give a low dose of any hormone, you really don't get any overall change because your own production will slow down (negative feedback) to accommodate that dose, and maintains homeostasis. So, any external dose that actually increases a hormone concentration is usually high enough to actually shut down your own production of the hormone and then replace back everything you normally produce and then some. To do that to a teenager just to help them grow an extra inch or two seems barbaric.

But, yes, unfortunately height seems to matter that much in our society to make this acceptable. Being a short woman, I know I am conscious of this. If I have an important meeting where I need to be seen as authoritative, I will wear shoes with thicker soles and a little bit of a heel to add a bit of height. I'll stand and sit straighter, and stand at a distance that I can look directly at them without having to tilt my head up. I've known people who have power control issues to do things like keep their desk chair higher than all the other chairs in their office, so anyone coming into sit down is automatically on a lower level than they are (the wise people prefer to stand when dealing with someone like that). Even in US Presidential elections, the winner is almost always the taller of the two candidates. Something about height seems to register as equivalent to authority.
 
  • #35
cragwolf said:
The point is, how are you going to alter your instinctually and culturally derived behaviour to take these obvious facts into account? Are you just going to ignore them, and act like there's a level playing field for everyone? Then you're one insensitive and/or deluded b@stard/b1tch. Or are you going to try and be fair, give everyone a chance, or at least show some sympathy for those who have a difficult time finding partners in the genetic disco. There's too many people wearing blinkers! They need to :bugeye:.

as i mentioned before, i am speaking from my own personal experience, and calling names really isn't convincing me that your point is a rational one either :-p by the way, how tall are you ? :-p
 
  • #36
most short men i have known have what i call "little man syndrome"...they have bad attitudes and a temper

I've noticed this mostly from shorter men in positions of authority. My current boss is around 5'5", and he seems to obtain pleasure from making my life hell . :cry: I know that he is also very insecure about his height, since I always see him wearing shoes with these crazy "man-heels" that make him almost my height. So I guess the "little man syndrome" you mentioned really comes from the insecurity of the individual being projected as anger toward everyone else.
 
  • #37
I think it's bleedingly obvious that short men are at a disadvantage in the mating game. So are fat men and fat women. So are "ugly" men and "ugly" women. The point is, how are you going to alter your instinctually and culturally derived behaviour to take these obvious facts into account? Are you just going to ignore them, and act like there's a level playing field for everyone? Then you're one insensitive and/or deluded b@stard/b1tch.


Why would you alter your "instinctually and culturally derived behaviour" to prefer an undesirable mate? The phrase it truly played out by now, but why not; beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I see skinny women as unattractive, which tends to go against the cultural definition of feminine beauty. So does that make me a deluded "b@stard" since I choose to prefer females who fit my instinctually derived preference?
 
  • #38
Look, no one worry about your height. I am 6' 6" and 16 years old. I mean if that isn't pushing it I don't know what is. I still have a good 5 years of growth left.

If you get to 6'9, and you work on a good jump shot you can join the NBA!

I've noticed this mostly from shorter men in positions of authority. My current boss is around 5'5", and he seems to obtain pleasure from making my life hell .

Call him Thumbelina, and tell him you'll shove his heels about his ass if he continues bothering you.

He'll be so surprised he'll have a new found respect for you!

Or, he'll fire you.

Worth the chance.
 
  • #39
If you are born short than so be it, I would not want to alter my height at all. If you did you would look like a freak, your arms, and torso would be out of proportion to your legs.
 
  • #40
Gza said:
I've noticed this mostly from shorter men in positions of authority. My current boss is around 5'5", and he seems to obtain pleasure from making my life hell . :cry: I know that he is also very insecure about his height, since I always see him wearing shoes with these crazy "man-heels" that make him almost my height. So I guess the "little man syndrome" you mentioned really comes from the insecurity of the individual being projected as anger toward everyone else.

exactly! but to be fair, not all short people have this attitude, it just seems i have encountered several in my experience...
 
  • #41
Gza said:
Why would you alter your "instinctually and culturally derived behaviour" to prefer an undesirable mate? The phrase it truly played out by now, but why not; beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I see skinny women as unattractive, which tends to go against the cultural definition of feminine beauty. So does that make me a deluded "b@stard" since I choose to prefer females who fit my instinctually derived preference?

Nowhere in what I wrote do I see a call for people to change their preferences. What I do see is a plea for people to try and be fairer, give everyone a chance, or if that's not possible, just show some sympathy for those who tend to get left behind (and alone).
 
  • #42
Kerrie said:
as i mentioned before, i am speaking from my own personal experience...

I would hope so! But it seems my point was lost on you. I simply do not trust perceptions of character, particularly when sexual attraction (and repulsion) is in the air.

and calling names really isn't convincing me that your point is a rational one either :-p

Read more carefully, I wasn't calling you any names.

by the way, how tall are you ? :-p

Depends how fast I'm traveling with respect to you. :-p
 
  • #43
Gza said:
I've noticed this mostly from shorter men in positions of authority. My current boss is around 5'5", and he seems to obtain pleasure from making my life hell . :cry: I know that he is also very insecure about his height, since I always see him wearing shoes with these crazy "man-heels" that make him almost my height. So I guess the "little man syndrome" you mentioned really comes from the insecurity of the individual being projected as anger toward everyone else.

Oh, please, spare us the pop-psychology! OK, so your boss is a b@stard. What do his physical characteristics have to do with it? If I said the same thing but focused on skin colour instead of height, I would rightly be branded a racist. And what's wrong with wearing "man-heels"? So that automatically makes him have the "little man syndrome"? So, I suppose all women who wear high heels have the "little woman syndrome"? Or all women who wear makeup have the "ugly woman syndrome"? Or all men who grow a beard have the "something-to-hide man syndrome"? What utter b0llocks!
 
  • #44
Hi, I'm new here and have SPD (Short Person's Disease)

At first I wanted only to own a wheelbarrow or other piece of machinery :smile:

Now I won't be content until all your base are belong to us! :biggrin: :smile:
 
  • #45
And what's wrong with wearing "man-heels"? So that automatically makes him have the "little man syndrome"? So, I suppose all women who wear high heels have the "little woman syndrome"?

You can't really compare the two situations. Women wear high heeled shoes because they look attractive in them. Society is really the reason why men don't wear heels and women do; or women being allowed to wear skirts, and men not having this privilege. I'm not really sure why this is all new to you.


Nowhere in what I wrote do I see a call for people to change their preferences. What I do see is a plea for people to try and be fairer, give everyone a chance, or if that's not possible, just show some sympathy for those who tend to get left behind (and alone).

Being sympathetic for the groups of people we've been discussing (mainly short men) seems to imply there is a problem with them, and we must shower them with artificial sympathy to level the field. I see this as more disrespectful than simply treating them equally as human beings. There have been numerous successful shorter men that have overpowered their physical shortcomings (no pun intended, really) with talent and personality. Every human being alive has some sort of aspect of themself that would seem disadvantageous, and it is truly up to them to make the best of it, instead of seeking external artificial sympathy from other people for what they lack.

People even tend to hold those who overcome their physical disadvantages in greater esteem than someone who had the advantage in the first place. Just ask Muggsy Bogues, Tyus Edney, Spud Webb, Damon Stoudamire, and Dana Barros, along with the multitude of sub 6'0" tall NBA players who have made, and are still making a huge impact on the game today. Spud Webb in fact at 5'7", won a dunk contest over the contest favorite Domnique Wilkins at 6'8". He didn't whine about having everyone treat him equally, he damn well ripped the approval from all his doubters.
 
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  • #46
Gza said:
You can't really compare the two situations. Women wear high heeled shoes because they look attractive in them. Society is really the reason why men don't wear heels and women do; or women being allowed to wear skirts, and men not having this privilege.

I certainly can compare the two situations. They don't have to be absolutely identical to be comparable. Why do you think some short men wear heels? To be ridiculed? Because they're insane? No, they wear heels because in a society where male attractiveness is correlated with height, they believe that it makes them more attractive. Simple as that.

Being sympathetic for the groups of people we've been discussing (mainly short men) seems to imply there is a problem with them...

Stop right there. See, whenever you perceive an implication in what someone is saying or writing, you are treading on unstable ground; it's best to focus on what someone has actually said, rather than treat what they've said as some secret code to be cracked. There is no problem with short men (I never said that, so forget the seeming implication). The problem lies in how society perceives and treats them, especially relative to non-short men.

...and we must shower them with artificial sympathy to level the field. I see this as more disrespectful than simply treating them equally as human beings.

But that's just it. They're not treated equally as human beings. There is no level playing field. Notice in my posts that I don't actually say that we should ignore height considerations in choosing partners, and treat people equally in that respect. I know very well that instinct and culture and conditioning make it very difficult (maybe impossible) for us to be fair when we choose our partners. Given that fact, I simply suggest that we should try to be fairer. Don't automatically rule someone out because they're below a certain height. Give them a slight chance to win you over with, oh, say, their personality!

The rest of what you wrote has very little do with the specific topic of height in the game of love, so I'll ignore it, but I will say one thing. The idea that sympathy is disrespectful is laughable, and is possibly an idea that salves the conscience of unsympathetic and insensitive people. We humans love and crave sympathy, especially during difficult times. Life is very tough, and sympathy is very hard to come by. It's one of the reasons we seek soulmates. If we were all more sympathetic, this world would be a much better place. Of course, there's always a danger that sympathising can turn into patronising, but that's an overstated problem, and the warm and healing effect of sympathy is worth that small risk.
 
  • #47
OK the Bob had now scared me... jeez that is tall.

:cry: I'm never going to be 6' because of my heritage... the average height of men in Gibraltar is about 5'5". I'm about 5'9-5'10. It sucks, all of my friends are taller than me. I'm always on tiptoes to see things that they can see. And of course, they are noticed first :frown:
 
  • #48
jimmy p said:
OK the Bob had now scared me... jeez that is tall.

Hehe. I still have about 5 years of growing to do. :biggrin: Did mean to scare you but no one has tried to bully me in years. It is great. :smile:

jimmy p said:
:cry: I'm never going to be 6' because of my heritage... the average height of men in Gibraltar is about 5'5". I'm about 5'9-5'10. It sucks, all of my friends are taller than me. I'm always on tiptoes to see things that they can see. And of course, they are noticed first :frown:

I wouldn't worry about it. Short people are just as fun and wanted. Just imagine me (6' 6") and my girlfriend (5' 8") together. That is quite funny but I start to feel more like a father than a boyfriend. , which isn't fair.

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
  • #49
cragwolf said:
I would hope so! But it seems my point was lost on you. I simply do not trust perceptions of character, particularly when sexual attraction (and repulsion) is in the air...
Read more carefully, I wasn't calling you any names...
Depends how fast I'm traveling with respect to you. :-p

not going to give your height? mine is 5'2", and considered short for a woman :smile: i would love to know yours, or would it prove my conclusion of short men? :-p
 
  • #50
Evo said:
SelfAdjoint, girls still wear heels when they dress up, but the past few years also had those platform shoes back in fashion. I can be 5'10" in a pair of platform heels. :-p

They have heels that go up to 7 inches? Woah! I didn't know that.
 
  • #51
Kerrie said:
not going to give your height? mine is 5'2", and considered short for a woman :smile: i would love to know yours, or would it prove my conclusion of short men? :-p

One data point would prove your conclusion? I think I see your problem. Your physics teacher needs to sit you down for a heart-to-heart talk. :smile:
 
  • #52
cragwolf said:
One data point would prove your conclusion? I think I see your problem. Your physics teacher needs to sit you down for a heart-to-heart talk. :smile:

teacher?? i am about 13 years out of high school sweetie! and during those 13 years i was able to apply my theory of "little man syndrome" and had ample conclusions to my hypothesis :biggrin:
 
  • #53
i only just recently realized I'm short. I'm barely 5'4 kinda on the short side of average for women i guess. before i moved, i lived in sort of a skater town, or at least i hung with mostly skater-ish people. and even the guys were really short. i think i knew a kid who was like 5'9 and we thought he was a freak. i was taller than most girls i knew. then i moved away from those friends and suddenely everyone in my town was huge. then for like a year i had this weird complex, and i never even realized how short i was. i'd look at someone who was like 5'7 and i thought we were the same size. and then i'd stand right next to them and i'd freak cause i was so small. funny thing is, most other people were surprised too. in my hack circles i was always easily the shortest person, but no one noticed till i stood right next to them and looked up, and then we realized i was a good 3 inches probably shorter than everyone.

i think that because i was comparitively taller before i stood like a taller person, then when i met real tall people i never seemed small because i didn't act like it... or something like that? either way my boyfriends 6'2ish and neither of ever realize the difference until we try and kiss or something. which is usually hilarious if we shut our eyes because we miscalculate our heights soooo badly. :-p
 
  • #54
Gale17 said:
I think that because i was comparitively taller before i stood like a taller person, then when i met real tall people i never seemed small because i didn't act like it... or something like that? either way my boyfriends 6'2ish and neither of ever realize the difference until we try and kiss or something. which is usually hilarious if we shut our eyes because we miscalculate our heights soooo badly. :-p

The feeling is mutal. :-p I am 6' 6" (saying it if you haven't read the rest of the thread) and my girlfriend is 5' 8" ish. The jokes about yellow pages keep coming. Fortunately she used to take ballet lessons and so can stand on the tips of her toes for ages, still makes kissing hard though. :-p So I empathsis Gale, I really do. :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
  • #55
One data point would prove your conclusion? I think I see your problem. Your physics teacher needs to sit you down for a heart-to-heart talk.

I think asking what your height is seems like a rather straightforward question. I doubt Kerrie means it in a demeaning manner. Dodging it seems to make your previous statements nothing more than complaining about your physical limitations through your preaching on equality.
 
  • #56
Kerrie said:
teacher?? i am about 13 years out of high school sweetie!

Sweetie? There's nothing sweet about this old curmudgeon. Look, this is you:

:blush:

And this is me:



Do I look like a sweetie?

and during those 13 years i was able to apply my theory of "little man syndrome" and had ample conclusions to my hypothesis :biggrin:

The only thing ample about your conclusions is how deluded they are. :-p
 
  • #57
Gza said:
I think asking what your height is seems like a rather straightforward question.

Of course it's a straightforward question. And it's none of her business. Also, if or when I choose to answer her is none of your business.

I doubt Kerrie means it in a demeaning manner.

What makes you think I think it's being done in a demeaning manner? Do you fail to notice the smilies in my responses to her? Do you have difficulty understanding light-hearted, back-and-forth banter? What's that's phrase you Americans love? Oh yeah, lighten up, dude!

Dodging it seems to make your previous statements nothing more than complaining about your physical limitations through your preaching on equality.

More conjecturing and divining from you. You would not make a fool of yourself so much if you stopped this cryptography and simply read what I wrote.
 
  • #58
What makes you think I think it's being done in a demeaning manner? Do you fail to notice the smilies in my responses to her? Do you have difficulty understanding light-hearted, back-and-forth banter? What's that's phrase you Americans love? Oh yeah, lighten up, dude!


Yeah, being the dumb American I am, I can't differentiate witty banter from personal attacks :rolleyes: . I'm assuming you come from a country where answering simple direct questions is some sort of taboo, so i'll refrain from asking them. :smile:
 
  • #59
Gza said:
Yeah, being the dumb American I am, I can't differentiate witty banter from personal attacks :rolleyes: .

Have I called you a dumb American? No. Have I said that Americans can't differentiate witty banter from personal attacks? No. Are you going to persist in extracting anything but true (or even close to true) meaning from my sentences? Well, your record in this thread seems to suggest so, but I hope not.

I'm assuming you come from a country where answering simple direct questions is some sort of taboo, so i'll refrain from asking them. :smile:

I don't know if it's simply a lack of comprehension skills or pigheadedness. To repeat: my physical characteristics are none of anyone's business. How you extrapolate from my unwillingness to reveal my height, to a belief that I have trouble answering simple questions, is beyond me.
 
  • #60
I am 6'-2" tall, I've always been tall for my age and have been over 6' tall since about 14 years old.

I started school a year early. I was about 10 months younger than all of my classmates. Even though I was tall, none of my female classmates would date me.

It's not because I was some kind of troll because a couple years later in art school I was chosen to model for some photograghs for an advertising campain project as the guy in an attractive couple. I was considered a nice guy, I have a good sense of humor, was fairly popular, but that little age difference was something they would not overlook. Most of the girls had a sort of motherly way of dealing with me.

Then again, I guess it could have something to do with the fact that I scored a big +43% on the geek test. :cry:

Are you a Geek?

Height isn't everything. Although I do like being tall. It certainly has not hurt me any.
 

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