You are addressing the incompatibility between General Relativity (Astrophysics) and Particle Physics (QM).
Science in a broad way divides between those two major theories:
If you wish to accept that there are gravitons you will likely be a Particle Physicist using QM and one of its many interpretations (oQM, CI, BM, MWI etc.)
If you instead choose to believe that there are no gravitons and gravity is accounted for by curvatures defined in GR; you will likely be an Astrophysicist.
Both branches can demonstrate that their approach is “accurate”.
Neither can proof the other approach is “wrong”.
So do not expect a clear answer as to which approach is “the correct” description of reality.
Obviously only one view can truly be correct.
But until someone can explain reality in a way that reconciles the incompatibility of these two major theories, we have to be willing to accept the use of two types of science with differing interpretations of reality when it come to describing how gravity works.