Does Love Hinder Personal Achievement?

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The discussion centers on the question of whether being in love hinders personal achievement. Some argue that love can lead to irrational decisions, potentially distracting individuals from their goals. However, many participants counter that love enriches life, providing emotional support and fulfillment that outweighs financial success. They emphasize that love fosters happiness, making challenges easier to bear and successes more enjoyable. The conversation also touches on the loneliness of being single and the importance of companionship, especially as one ages. Ultimately, while some see love as a distraction, others view it as an essential part of a fulfilling life, suggesting that the benefits of love can enhance personal and professional achievements rather than detract from them.

Is it better for people who like to aim high to not be in love?

  • Yes

    Votes: 13 40.6%

  • No

    Votes: 19 59.4%
  • Total voters
    32
tgt
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For those who like to achieve high, is it better to not be in love? You won't be irrational and can concentrate only on yourself and the things you want to do.

The only think of course is not having a family and be alone when you're old.
 
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no, it is never better to not be in love.
 
tribdog said:
no, it is never better to not be in love.

that's more politically correct but how is it in reality?
 
tgt said:
For those who like to achieve high, is it better to not be in love? You won't be irrational and can concentrate only on yourself and the things you want to do.

The only think of course is not having a family and be alone when you're old.

That depends on if the person loves you back.
 
because you may make more money if you never fall in love, but if you are in love you can be happy with less money. I used to be into making money and I was a cynic then I walked into my house and someone was robbing it. They stabbed me in the neck and it totally changed me. I am not successful when it comes to making money. I'm pretty broke most of the time, but I don't care. I know what happens when you die and I know what is really important. It is so great to be in love. It is so great to want to come home and see someone you love. It is so great to roll over in bed and put your arm around someone you love. It fills you up in ways that your wallet never can.
 
tgt said:
For those who like to achieve high, is it better to not be in love? You won't be irrational and can concentrate only on yourself and the things you want to do.

The only think of course is not having a family and be alone when you're old.

Can you please explain how it's NOT irrational? Seriously, I insist you explain.
 
I can't speak for others, but I am much better off in love.

On the practical side, my wife and I spend time taking care of each other, but since my wife has a part time job outside the home while I have a full time job, I think I come off better. Also, I have children. For all my efforts in other areas, they are my best accomplishment.

On the emotional side, what's to discuss?
 
tgt said:
The only think of course is not having a family and be alone when you're old.

This one thing, but it is not the only thing. For example, being alone can be lonely even when one is not that old. At a wedding a couple of months ago:

http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/4311/familyqg1.jpg

Also, in spite of the fact that some people don't want to experience the roller coaster feelings of love, other people very much *do* want to experience the roller coaster feelings of love.

that's more politically correct but how is it in reality?

It seems that you think such feelings are a bother, but as with anything human, it can't be expected that the entire population shares the same opinion.

A post of mine from a year ago:

https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?p=1396378#post1396378.
 
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Hey George, nice family. You look like Einstein in that picture.
 
  • #10
JasonRox said:
Can you please explain how it's NOT irrational? Seriously, I insist you explain.

Firstly, do you agree that love makes you irrational?

I guess you could be irrational even without being in love.
 
  • #11
tgt said:
Firstly, do you agree that love makes you irrational?

I guess you could be irrational even without being in love.

Of course love is irrational. But a large part of human beliefs, emotions, and decisions are irrational regardless of whether they're in love or not, so it would be a stretch to say that love is what makes you irrational.

I almost think your question would be better rephrased, "Would it be better to be a Vulcan with no emotions than a human?"
 
  • #12
George, your wife is beautiful, your daughter is absolutely gorgeous, and you 'do" lokk a bit like Einstein in that picture! Great family!

I have to say that I don't even know if I could fall in love. I might like someone, but love...eh.
 
  • #13
tgt said:
Firstly, do you agree that love makes you irrational?
Only if one let's it be so. Being in love or loving someone doesn't necessarily make one irrational.

Infatuation is irrational.

I guess you could be irrational even without being in love.
Yes - that is certainly possible.

For me, loving people in the sense of caring about them is part of what life is all about.
 
  • #14
Evo said:
George, your wife is beautiful, your daughter is absolutely gorgeous, and you 'do" lokk a bit like Einstein in that picture! Great family!

jimmysnyder said:
Hey George, nice family. You look like Einstein in that picture.

I concur. I can't wait to see GJ in 20 years time. Just don't get your picture taken with your tongue hanging out. :biggrin:
 
  • #15
tgt said:
Firstly, do you agree that love makes you irrational?

I guess you could be irrational even without being in love.

Ever think that it might be irrational not to experience the human condition?

You only get one ticket on the ride. Would you close your eyes to the wonder of it all?

Tennyson said:
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
 
  • #16
George Jones said:
This one thing, but it is not the only thing. For example, being alone can be lonely even when one is not that old. At a wedding a couple of months ago:

http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/4311/familyqg1.jpg

Also, in spite of the fact that some people don't want to experience the roller coaster feelings of love, other people very much *do* want to experience the roller coaster feelings of love.



It seems that you think such feelings are a bother, but as with anything human, it can't be expected that the entire population shares the same opinion.

A post of mine from a year ago:

https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?p=1396378#post1396378.

Is this the same daughter that was just born?
 
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  • #17
tgt said:
For those who like to achieve high, is it better to not be in love? You won't be irrational and can concentrate only on yourself and the things you want to do.

The only think of course is not having a family and be alone when you're old.

I love 'love' itself and people in good love. It must be something good :biggrin:
 
  • #18
Love is just a mental state where one is not fully in control, i am not a Vulcan or a silk handkerchief poet, i just think love is wanting something/one and being lucky if you get it.
 
  • #19
I think being in love makes it easier to be successful. You have someone to share your burdens with, along with the celebrations. Overall, it makes the burdens easier to overcome and the joys of success more fun to celebrate.
 
  • #20
Re: Is it better to not be in love?

Was Einstein never in love?

If he had never been, would he have accomplished more? Would he have aimed higher?
 
  • #22
I guess in the realm of scientific acheivment, being single and devoting 18 hours of work a day could probably yield better/more results. In my opinion, that's not a very good way to spend one's life.

I'm not married (only 21), but I would want to live life with a companion that I can share the best times with, as well as someone that I can get through the hard times with.
 
  • #23
LowlyPion said:
Re: Is it better to not be in love?

Was Einstein never in love?

If he had never been, would he have accomplished more? Would he have aimed higher?

He did marry his cousin, not your normal type of love.
 
  • #24
tgt said:
The only think of course is not having a family and be alone when you're old.

Well, I believe you're always alone to begin with. The idea of family and all that is just to hide that fear and insecurity of accepting that you're alone. You'll die alone and nothing will remain whether or not you like it.

Don't run from the "fear" and "insecurity" of being alone. You'll never run fast enough. The best thing to do is to live the best possible life alone and share it with others. Being with others will never imply you're not alone whether they promise to not leave you or not because that's just false security.
 
  • #25
chasely said:
He did marry his cousin, not your normal type of love.

yeah--I thought the same thing. maybe it was 'his' way of 'playing it "safe" '--not to be 'hurt' by LOVE (ever again)----

has anyone ever noticed how many times 'love' is used on some of those 'home shopping' networks?---"You'll LOVE this!"---"I LOVE this new..." --that much 'loving' gets a little annoying after awhile... of course, it's 'meant' to get the endorphins/adrenaline going


Personally, I love being in love-----I think it all depends on how one can handle it--and whether or not 'being in love' has a good history in one's life (like just after a break up, or being assaulted/abused in one's history)
 
  • #26
chasely said:
He did marry his cousin, not your normal type of love.

I believe that was his second marriage.
 
  • #27
LowlyPion said:
I believe that was his second marriage.

Yeah it was, after she took care of him through his illness.
 
  • #28
chasely said:
Yeah it was, after she took care of him through his illness.

So that's not to suggest then that Einstein didn't experience love.
 
  • #29
I think it depends on one's attitude 'what' example someone uses too. You can 'pick' Newton or you can 'pick' Feynman
 
  • #30
http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/4311/familyqg1.jpg
einst_rad.jpg

Separated at birth?
 
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  • #31
Following LowlyPion's lead, more classic writing on love

http://shakespeare.about.com/od/studentresources/a/shklove.htm
Cyrus said:
Is this the same daughter that was just born?

Cyrus, time flies and you're getting old :biggrin:. My daughter was (in eight days) born two years ago.
 
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  • #32
chasely said:
He did marry his cousin, not your normal type of love.
Actually such a practice was not uncommon or unusual in the earlier half of the 20th century (or before) - in US and Europe. There were occurences in my family four or more generations ago.
 
  • #33
George Jones said:
Following LowlyPion's lead, more classic writing on love

http://shakespeare.about.com/od/studentresources/a/shklove.htm


Cyrus, time flies and you're getting old :biggrin:. My daughter was (in eight days) born two years ago.

WOW! I remember seeing pictures of her just being born like it was yesterday...
 
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  • #34
Astronuc said:
Actually such a practice was not uncommon or unusual in the earlier half of the 20th century (or before) - in US and Europe. There were occurences in my family four or more generations ago.

I would likely attribute that to the greater societal pressure to be married, not to mention the importance of a partner just in running a family unit absent more modern conveniences then, and likely too the fact that people weren't in contact with nearly as many opportunities as today, both with the greater mobility and communication technologies. A smaller pool of available and acceptable partners. I'd think a cousin would naturally be class-wise matched, if not culturally matched as to education and experiences and such and because it was in the family already, it's not like the family could then find the partner unsuitable. It was probably a pretty reasonable choice all things considered at the time.
 
  • #35
LowlyPion said:
I would likely attribute that to the greater societal pressure to be married, not to mention the importance of a partner just in running a family unit absent more modern conveniences then, and likely too the fact that people weren't in contact with nearly as many opportunities as today, both with the greater mobility and communication technologies. A smaller pool of available and acceptable partners. I'd think a cousin would naturally be class-wise matched, if not culturally matched as to education and experiences and such and because it was in the family already, it's not like the family could then find the partner unsuitable. It was probably a pretty reasonable choice all things considered at the time.

Being/getting married is different that 'love' though-----I feel sorry that some have a hard time finding it---The people that I've known that do have a hard time are the people who have a 'trust' issue (maybe, like Einstein)
 
  • #36
tgt said:
is it better to not be in love? You won't be irrational
Love does not imply irrationality. In fact, I don't think that an irrational emotion could possibly be as powerful as the unified desire of heart, body, and mind. If your love is irrational, then keep looking.
 
  • #37
rewebster said:
Being/getting married is different that 'love' though

I've noticed people conflating the two a lot in this thread. Love doesn't require marriage, and marriage can happen without love as well.
 
  • #38
I voted no, though lately I don't know, I feel as if I might come undone.
 
  • #39
Well, to be honest: there was this woman I cared a lot about (I still do); but she hurt me a lot of times, and that disrupted my studies sometimes. So, I would advise anyone to just focus on your work as much as you can (especially in physics).

It can be depressing; but that is why you have to have an anxiety outlet with your friends. Our group at Seton Hall decided to come up with lame Physics pick-up lines--kind of our lame way of dissing love..."Hey baby! You got more curves than a sine function on the integral from negative to positive infinity!"...was always my personal favorite.Something else about being or having an orthogonal vector too, but I swear I always disapproved of that one.

Yes...I know we were lame...but we were self-amused and not going to climb any clock towers from being so lonely at least.
 
  • #40
FrancisZ said:
"Hey baby! You got more curves than a sine function on the integral from negative to positive infinity!"...was always my personal favorite.

I get that one all the time.
 
  • #41
Math Is Hard said:
I get that one all the time.

The biggest groan though, definitely had to be...

"Hey, why don't we make a perfectly inelastic collision together?"
 
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  • #42
FrancisZ said:
Well, to be honest: there was this woman I cared a lot about (I still do); but she hurt me a lot of times, and that disrupted my studies sometimes. So, I would advise anyone to just focus on your work as much as you can (especially in physics).

I don't think that's OP "love".
 
  • #43
FrancisZ said:
Well, to be honest: there was this woman I cared a lot about (I still do); but she hurt me a lot of times, and that disrupted my studies sometimes. So, I would advise anyone to just focus on your work as much as you can (especially in physics).

But this is part of life; one has to learn these things, and learn to balance relationships and work.
 
  • #44
In response to FrancisZ's bad jokes. I love this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTby_e4-Rhg
 
  • #45
Evo said:
In response to FrancisZ's bad jokes. I love this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTby_e4-Rhg

*edit: I got it! That was excellent! :)

Anyway, my friends from Biology think this is hilarious (and it is). Kind of a mix-up between an Ah ha video and a boy band. Take a look...

http://www.eppendorf.com/int/hawkpopup.php?contentid=13
 
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  • #46
FrancisZ said:
My computer stinks. I can't see it.

Definitely check it out when you can on another computer. I love that song! If only life was a logical as maths!
 
  • #47
Moonbear said:
I've noticed people conflating the two a lot in this thread. Love doesn't require marriage, and marriage can happen without love as well.
While this is true, marriage without love or being in love is like a business partnership and that more or less defeats the purpose of being married, especially if kids are not involved. Certainly people can live together or get married for economic reasons, but in the end, I've seen such relationships take a toll on the people involved. I don't recommend it.

It's best to marry one who is one's soulmate, so that each shares their lives with the other and there is mutual support.

I fell in love with a number of women, and even though those relationships didn't continue to marriage, I still love each and everyone for what we shared, and because they are good people.
 
  • #48
FrancisZ said:
*edit: I got it! That was excellent! :)

Anyway, my friends from Biology think this is hilarious (and it is). Kind of a mix-up between an Ah ha video and a boy band. Take a look...

http://www.eppendorf.com/int/hawkpopup.php?contentid=13

I think to be in love is great, as long as you don't let it get in the way of your goals in life.

I liked that video, and I must say it was pretty good :smile:
 
  • #49
Hey, did anyone notice that George Jones guy looks a bit like Einstein in the picture?

:-p
 

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