since it's december & last year i left it too late (not that it mattered at the time anyway) it's time to start thinking about grad school applications, which i've been doing lately. my problem is that my grades totally sucked & i think my only hope is probably to get 3 profs to write me awesome references. i've read other threads on here about people who have done history degrees & want to become physicists (not just ed witten), etc etc & the usual responses say that the bottom line is you have to be able to work very hard autonomously & to know how to study. while i was in school i didn't know how to study properly (effectively?) and i think that affected motivation since i didn't know what i was doing wrong & didn't know how to fix it. it also probably didn't help to work at a restaurant during my last year & be surrounded by people who thought school & 'booklearning' in general was plain stupid. at the time though i needed a job to pay my tuition & would have taken anything since i thought i had no oter choice but looking back i think it was a mistake to have so many people with that attitude around me. anyway, since i graduated in june i've figured out how to read properly & it's much more encouraging & easier to do it myself & i can feel the difference. so i'm doing things way differently than even 6 months ago & i have to find a way to get good references from the profs who must have thought i was wasting my time & theirs (at that time). i've talked to one of them who was all proud of me, etc that i had 'figured it out' but i did ok in the courses i had with him & i've gotten along with him ok all along. i don't know what i could possibly say to the others since i think they'd probably have little patience for me & i doubt they'd even take me seriously.