Firstly, the relative increase due to gravitational potential energy is incredibly tiny, typically a few parts per trillion or billion, so there is no runaway regardless.
But as I already said, the trivial model of assuming that the rest energy of a particle is modified by gravitational potential to give it the gravitational energy simply does not work unless you also assume that there is a correcting change in energy elsewhere, for example in the field.
It is of course expected that the external gravitational field of any system should reflect the total source energy, taking any internal potential energy into account.
In General Relativity, there is an apparently consistent solution to this for any static system. The total gravitational effect of a system at rest includes an effect due to pressure. The total volume integral of the pressure over each of three perpendicular planes over the volume of a static system is equal (and opposite) to its internal potential energy in Newtonian gravity. The same effect in GR (as part of what is called the "Komar mass") appears to compensate exactly for the fact that potential energy would otherwise be applied twice, with each constituent component particle of an object both being reduced in energy by its potential energy and causing the rest of the object to be reduced by the same energy.
However, the pressure term does not provide an explanation in a dynamic system. The physicist Richard Tolman pointed out that if the pressure suddenly changed inside a star, for example as a result of some sort of collapse, then this would apparently change its gravitational field, even if no energy had been added or removed externally. This is now known as one of Tolman's paradoxes. Similarly, it does not provide an explanation for the potential energy of a system involving two bodies orbiting around one another.
As far as I know, this is still a generally unresolved area. As GR is difficult to handle analytically, especially in dynamic situations, the tiny additional effects due to potential energy modifying the source strength are not very relevant to current experimental modelling, but they are of interest on the theoretical side. If current GR is inaccurate at that level, this will not make much difference except in extremely strong gravitational situations, but it could for example affect whether black holes actually form. However, that sort of speculation is outside the scope of these forums.