How Can I Stay Engaged Discreetly During Church Services?

[Jow]

I am a Roman Catholic and for various reasons I must go to church at least a couple of times a month. Even the most devout get bored in church and I, not being a religious person, get extremely bored. Can you think of anything I could do during church that won't look like I am doing anything. One thing I already do is practice my mandarin in my head (but that is a tad difficult because if I forget a word I can't look through my textbook). I also make fun of things said by the priest, but after a while that gets pretty boring as his homilies tend to be about similar things. Any suggestions would be great, thanks :)

 

[PhizKid]

Listen to the Feynman Lectures audio

 

[leroyjenkens]

What a strange situation. You say you're a Roman Catholic, but not religious, and you have to go to church, but you're bored in doing so. Do you have to go because someone forces you to go?

 

[russ_watters]

I learned to lace my fingers together left-thumb on top.

 

[chiro]

Can't you just tell your close ones the truth and leave?

 

[Astronuc]

My brother and I would grab a donut and a cup of coffee, and then we'd proceed to the parking lot, where we would sit in the family car and listen to American Top 40 for an hour during the time that our parents, actually my mom, attended the service. After service, we'd join my mom, and go get more coffee and more snacks, or lunch.

My dad was a minister, but he served some small country churches about 90 minutes from home. On some Sundays, my brother and I would join my dad. We met a lot of nice folks, and the lunches were always good.

 

[Containment]

Just try to picture everyone naked! Should be some fun times.

Nah I'd say just use the time to relax and let go of some stress.

 

[Jow]

I don't have a choice, I must go to church (I go to a Catholic School and I must keep up appearances).

 

[MPKU]

I was in the same boat, forced by my parents.. I just told them I was going and played Pokemon in my car. Hahaha

Hm, perhaps you could do wrist/hand/finger exercises or ab contractions. Pretty weird but, it will pass the time and the hand/finger exercises can increase dexterity and/or strength (useful for instruments).

Or, you could read the book of Pslams? (Not sure, I'm pretty sure at my church there was a hymnal or something with stories and such) I know you are not religious but there are some decent stories and lessons to be learned from the 'good book'. Plus you never know when random trivia will help you..

 

[Astronuc]

I don't have a choice, I must go to church (I go to a Catholic School and I must keep up appearances).

Raise your hand, and state that you have a question.

Ask the question in Aramaic.

 

[Jow]

Or, you could read the book of Pslams? (Not sure, I'm pretty sure at my church there was a hymnal or something with stories and such) I know you are not religious but there are some decent stories and lessons to be learned from the 'good book'. Plus you never know when random trivia will help you..

Don't worry, after 11.5 years of Catholic school, my knowledge of the good book and Catholic theology is formidable, though, I haven't found a good use for it, other than being able to anticipate the arguments made by Christians.

 

[MPKU]

Perhaps you should take the time to become more open-minded then...

 

[Ryan_m_b]

The answer to your problems:

http://www.merch-bot.com/shop/bizarro-glasses/
Or
http://www.thegreenhead.com/2006/11/good-book-flask.php

 

[BobG]

I thought the whole point of having to constantly change positions (kneeling, standing, sitting) was so the congregation wouldn't get bored and fall asleep.

 

[Ryan_m_b]

I thought the whole point of having to constantly change positions (kneeling, standing, sitting) was so the congregation wouldn't get bored and fall asleep.

That and it's a good way of checking to see who has fallen asleep

 

[julcab12]

I am a Roman Catholic and for various reasons I..., but after a while that gets pretty boring as his homilies tend to be about similar things. Any suggestions would be great, thanks :)

Meditate/Relax? (Sad excuse for sleepiness. Hehe).. I have to... Our gang, few friends and colleague, even 'BOSS' and few relatives rarely miss one. It's a good thing right? ^^

 

[ZombieFeynman]

Time is only wasted in life if you waste it.

 

[Ryan_m_b]

Time is only wasted in life if you waste it.

Not true, I can think of many people who have wasted my time.

 

[jedishrfu]

you could bring a copy of the deluxe Hobbit book to read. It looks like a school missal in brown leather and the tile Hobbit in gold lettering.

If you were bolder you could bring a tablet with a missal text on it. From there you could switch back and forth or look up bible history...

 

[Lisa!]

I don't have a choice, I must go to church (I go to a Catholic School and I must keep up appearances).

Change your school, then!

 

[ChiralWaltz]

(I go to a Catholic School and I must keep up appearances).

Learn how to go through the motions of mass while thinking about what you want. You have one hour in which all you can do is think. I recommend thinking about who you are, who you want to be and how you are going to get there. Character development is crucial in any good story. Plan your week, offer prayers for those you love. What you choose to think about is up to you. The good news is you don't have to go to church forever.

I don't think it is a wise idea to do anything that draws attention to yourself in mass. Unless you like to sing, of course. Here is an excellent tutorial on how to sing in church: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1orMXD_Ijbs

 

[BobG]

I don't think it is a wise idea to do anything that draws attention to yourself in mass. Unless you like to sing, of course. Here is an excellent tutorial on how to sing in church: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1orMXD_Ijbs

That is so wrong!

He doesn't know the words, so he has to go with "La La La La"s ... and then he still has to lip sync it?!

 

[edward]

Perhaps you could join the choir.

 

[HeLiXe]

I usually count things and do approximate measurements when I am waiting somewhere...like the tile dimensions on the roof and floor, how many chairs are in the room, etc. Maybe you can count the stained glass

 

[Kholdstare]

Never go to one in the first place. If you are compelled to go, irritate everybody to no end, so that they don't let you in again.

 

[lisab]

Not true, I can think of many people who have wasted my time.

Ah, but you have to give someone your time before they can waste it.

 

[skeptic2]

Do what I did, read the Bible critically. That fueled my conversion to atheism.

 

[Ryan_m_b]

Ah, but you have to give someone your time before they can waste it.

Again not true, there are many who had stolen my time

 

[nanosiborg]

I am a Roman Catholic and for various reasons I must go to church at least a couple of times a month. Even the most devout get bored in church and I, not being a religious person, get extremely bored. Can you think of anything I could do during church that won't look like I am doing anything. One thing I already do is practice my mandarin in my head (but that is a tad difficult because if I forget a word I can't look through my textbook). I also make fun of things said by the priest, but after a while that gets pretty boring as his homilies tend to be about similar things. Any suggestions would be great, thanks :)

You can spend your time in church (and some of your time out of church) pondering exactly what it is that you're supporting by going to church.

 

[Jow]

Do what I did, read the Bible critically. That fueled my conversion to atheism.

Being a critical thinker, after 11.5 years of Catholic school, I've had enough of reading the Bible critically.

 

[Jow]

The reason that I absolutely must go to church is because tuition is reduced if you are a Catholic. However, my priest has to sign a letter saying I go to Church. And no, I can't change schools, or rather I won't change schools, because the only private schools around (that don't have a +$10 000 a year tuition) are catholic. And yes, I have to go to an independent school because the public schools in my area aren't very good and the teachers go on strike ever second week...

 

[0xDEADBEEF]

I don't think it is a wise idea to do anything that draws attention to yourself in mass. Unless you like to sing, of course. Here is an excellent tutorial on how to sing in church: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1orMXD_Ijbs

I was so sure that you would post this:

 

[rootX]

My dad was a minister, but he served some small country churches about 90 minutes from home. On some Sundays, my brother and I would join my dad. We met a lot of nice folks, and the lunches were always good.

I was also going to say this, go around meet nice people.

 

[haael]

If you still want to be a christian, just change the church. There is for sure some other church in your neighbourhood with some more quaint preacher. Or at least you can change the mass you attend, there may be some more suited for you.

If you don't want to be a christian, as others said, just say it to your relatives and be yourself. If you don't have the courage, then you can use your time in the church to whisper affirmations. It will look for others as if you were praying :).

And if everything above fails you can try solving Einstein equations for two colliding black holes in your mind. It can give you enlightenment, in a sense.

 

[That Neuron]

I'm sorry, but did anyone else notice the "Christian Mingle" ad right next to the original thread starter post.

If not, I took a grab of it in case anyone wants a good laugh.

 

[TMFKAN64]

The reason that I absolutely must go to church is because tuition is reduced if you are a Catholic. However, my priest has to sign a letter saying I go to Church. And no, I can't change schools, or rather I won't change schools, because the only private schools around (that don't have a +$10 000 a year tuition) are catholic. And yes, I have to go to an independent school because the public schools in my area aren't very good and the teachers go on strike ever second week...

I would suggest you run a quick calculation and see how much you are being paid per hour.

And then suck it up, do your job, and pray as you are being paid to do.

 

[Evo]

I would suggest you run a quick calculation and see how much you are being paid per hour.

And then suck it up, do your job, and pray as you are being paid to do.

Paid? Can you explain what you meant? He's in Catholic school.

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

Deface a Bible that I'm assuming you own, by cutting out a smartphone-sized hole within the text. Then, place your phone into the hole, and read PF (or something else of equivalent value) while in church.

Just make sure you aren't sitting too close to someone who might be able to see what you're up to.

 

[BobG]

Paid? Can you explain what you meant? He's in Catholic school.

How much he's saving in tuition compared to a non-religious private school.

Or the monetary benefit of his current education vs a free education at a public school (which would probably be a lot harder to compute).

 

[NemoReally]

The reason that I absolutely must go to church is because tuition is reduced if you are a Catholic. However, my priest has to sign a letter saying I go to Church. And no, I can't change schools, or rather I won't change schools, because the only private schools around (that don't have a +$10 000 a year tuition) are catholic. And yes, I have to go to an independent school because the public schools in my area aren't very good and the teachers go on strike ever second week...

I hear confession is good for the soul, but this sounds rather like publicly confessing to obtaining services by deception? What would you say the ethical thing to do is?

 

[Ryan_m_b]

I hear confession is good for the soul, but this sounds rather like publicly confessing to obtaining services by deception? What would you say the ethical thing to do is?

In this context I don't think Jow is in the wrong. A minor deception that will give him a better start in life because he gets into the best school. The benefit far outweighs the harm.

 

[NemoReally]

In this context I don't think Jow is in the wrong. A minor deception that will give him a better start in life because he gets into the best school. The benefit far outweighs the harm.

What harm is/was done and how do you know? Who do think harm is/was done to? How do you know? What if his place was obtained at the expense of another child, but a devout one, or a child from a poorer family with less chance of advancing their financial situation? What moral and legal messages are you sending Jow and others by condoning fraud? How do you know what the actual benefit will be to Jow or the Total Benefit attributable to this deception?

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

What harm is/was done and how do you know? Who do think harm is/was done to? How do you know? What if his place was obtained at the expense of another child, but a devout one, or a child from a poorer family with less chance of advancing their financial situation? What moral and legal messages are you sending Jow and others by condoning fraud? How do you know what the actual benefit will be to Jow or the Total Benefit attributable to this deception?

I recommend you reread Jow's posts so you have a better understanding of the school he goes to. Your hostility is entirely unjustifiable and unrealistic.

 

[mfb]

What harm is/was done and how do you know? Who do think harm is/was done to? How do you know? What if his place was obtained at the expense of another child, but a devout one, or a child from a poorer family with less chance of advancing their financial situation? What moral and legal messages are you sending Jow and others by condoning fraud? How do you know what the actual benefit will be to Jow or the Total Benefit attributable to this deception?

or a child from a richer family?
Do you see any reason to couple religiosity to the costs of education?

There are some puzzles (mathematics and related) which can solved without pen and paper.
Or try to calculate something in your head, unless you think this is even more boring.

 

[AlephZero]

In this context I don't think Jow is in the wrong. A minor deception that will give him a better start in life because he gets into the best school. The benefit far outweighs the harm.

Cleary Jow is not in the wrong, if he's still legally under parental control. Whether his parents are in the wrong either legally or morally are two different questions.

I expect faking demonaical possession would soon get Jow out of attending the services - though the alternatives might be worse

 

[Ryan_m_b]

What harm is/was done and how do you know? Who do think harm is/was done to?

The only "harm" I see is that the church is potentially missing out on preaching to the choir. You could however argue that it had a chance of making a convert so swings and roundabouts.

How do you know?

Obviously I can't know for sure but I'm standing by my conclusion on the basis of what I know.

What if his place was obtained at the expense of another child, but a devout one, or a child from a poorer family with less chance of advancing their financial situation?

Firstly whether or not he obtained it at the expense of a child in a worse financial situation is irrelevant to his religious beliefs or lack there of. Secondly I don't see any real harm in him getting in ahead of a religious child.

What moral and legal messages are you sending Jow and others by condoning fraud?

I think you're confusing conclusions on specific cases with statements of the action generally. I'm not arguing that deception is always ok but I don't see anything wrong with it in this case.

How do you know what the actual benefit will be to Jow or the Total Benefit attributable to this deception?

Obviously I can't know for sure but if this is the best school he can afford then the benefit is that he is getting the best education available to him. I fail to see any disadvantages.

 

[Evo]

I hear confession is good for the soul, but this sounds rather like publicly confessing to obtaining services by deception? What would you say the ethical thing to do is?

He's not obtaining anything by deception, HE'S ROMAN CATHOLIC!

His opening sentence in his first post.

I am a Roman Catholic

 

[BobG]

or a child from a richer family?
Do you see any reason to couple religiosity to the costs of education?

I'm not quite sure an outsider's view of the value or fairness of rewarding one group over another is really relevant. It's the school/church handing out the discounts/money and their criteria should be their decision alone.

Similarly, a shop owner charging too high prices doesn't give a person to shoplift from the price gouging owner's store.

 

[Mentalist]

When you're in church play the part. No need to be rude. Make it fun and interesting, you may learn something.

"Praise, Jesus!" "I'm having a revelation!"

 

[Evo]

Once again, he didn't steal anyone's place at a catholic school, he's CATHOLIC.