How Do You Care for a Gifted Physicist?

AI Thread Summary
The discussion revolves around the humorous experience of receiving a physicist as a unique Christmas gift, with participants sharing playful advice on how to care for and interact with this "pet." Suggestions include providing coffee, allowing them to solve problems, and avoiding interference with their work, particularly equations. The conversation humorously explores the differences between physicists, engineers, and economists, with jokes about their characteristics and maintenance needs. Participants also discuss naming the physicist and share light-hearted banter about the reliability and quirks of various academic "toys." The overall tone is playful, emphasizing the absurdity of treating a physicist like a pet while engaging in witty exchanges about their stereotypical behaviors and preferences.
Math Is Hard
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
Messages
4,650
Reaction score
39
ok, so my friends gave me the greatest Christmas gift ever - a physicist! But the darn instruction manual is all in Japanese! He's so adorable, and very interactive - more than I expected - but I have no idea how to care for him or what to feed him. Any suggestions? What do they like to eat? What makes them happy? Do they like to be scratched on the belly, or just behind the ears?
 
Physics news on Phys.org
Heck if I know. Mine is like a damn defective Furrbie. I can tell you where NOT to insert the batteries though.
 
That sounds really cool.

What's it like? Pictures?
 
I'll send pics soon. Thank heavens it came pre-assembled! I am so useless with those diagrams!
 
I'm surprised you assembled a pre-assembled toy!

I would have got lost. I'm not good with toys, unless its Lego's.
 
Do you suppose I should try to learn its language? (It's very sophisticated and mathematical and I don't even know if I could learn its language. :confused: ) It responds pretty well when I just babble and coo at it in English, and maybe that's enough for basic communication?
 
Don't worry, anything makes physicists happy.

If you hit them in the head with a brick, they're happy kinetic energy is only equal to 1/2 mv^2.
 
In the last survey I saw, 9 out of 10 physicists preferred to have their bellies rubbed and scratched behind the ears. They did have some odd dietary requirements though.
 
do you think he would like frozen brocolli?
 
  • #10
Math Is Hard said:
do you think he would like frozen brocolli?
Frozen broccoli was at the top of the list.
 
  • #11
Will it be frightened if I try to kiss it? How long should I wait?
 
  • #12
Ooh, how fun, a physicist for Christmas! It's what every girl wants nowadays, and you actually got one! I hear they like being rubbed on the belly, really low on the belly. As for food, that's easy. They can go days without eating if you give them a really good problem to solve, just provide coffee ad libitum and that will cover the drinking part. They require very little maintenance, though they might bite if you try to take that napkin covered in equations away from them at the end of meals. Just let them keep the napkins, and everything will be okay. They are quite wonderful to have around, I'm so glad you got one for Christmas! :biggrin:
 
  • #13
Moonbear, thanks so much for the advice. Ohmigosh - it's so cute! It keeps trying to do little experiments. Should I let it roam around the apartment? Maybe I should get a little terrarium for it that's like its lab at the university.
 
  • #14
Okay, I'm a little lost...What's a physicist? A new toy like furby? :-p :redface:
 
  • Like
Likes gracy
  • #15
Yeah - almost exactly the same thing, actually. Just less marketing involved.
 
  • #16
This has got to be politically incorrect, or something.

Anyway, you can also get the action figure but he's called an Engineer.
 
  • #17
Did you name it yet? :biggrin:

The action figure is really pretty good too. But my experience is they're great for a short time, but don't last long. Physicists really last.
 
  • #18
I thought if you took the Physicist and put his head up his butt you got an Engineer.
 
  • #19
Ivan Seeking said:
This has got to be politically incorrect, or something.

Anyway, you can also get the action figure but he's called an Engineer.
I was planning on getting one of those too. I really, really, really want the Chronos model - but they are almost all sold out - in very short supply this year.
Also, I am afraid he might beat up my physicist. I have heard that Engineers tend to be more aggressive and surly, so I don't know if they make good pets??
 
Last edited:
  • #20
tribdog said:
I thought if you took the Physicist and put his head up his butt you got an Engineer.
oh, mercy - yer killin' me, trib! :smile:
but do you really want to start world war 3 here?
 
  • #21
oooh, golly by gosh! I want one too. So if I go to the store asking for one, they'll know right?

What are good names for a physicist?
 
  • #22
Actually, the physicist already came with a name when I took it out of the box, but, ironically, it had the SAME name as the astronomer I got for Christmas last year (which was a complete piece of junk that I have since thrown in the trash!)
I suggest that you make up your own name for your pet. :biggrin:
 
Last edited:
  • #23
or don't worry about a name. I've heard that they either come before you want them or they don't come at all.
 
  • #24
tribdog said:
I thought if you took the Physicist and put his head up his butt you got an Engineer.
It's like a Transformer or a GoBot
 
  • #25
All I got for Christmas was an economist :frown:
 
  • #26
Brad_Ad23 said:
All I got for Christmas was an economist :frown:
now that's comedy!
 
  • #27
tribdog said:
I thought if you took the Physicist and put his head up his butt you got an Engineer.
Correction, an engineer is a physicist whose head has been successfully extracted by a proctologist.
 
  • #28
I've heard bad things about engineers.

DeadWolfe said:
I don't go near engineers, because they smell of booze and modernism, but I'm told that they use log to mean log to the base 10.
 
  • #29
I just hope you got a receipt with your Physicist.
They talk a good game, but not much action.
 
  • #30
tribdog said:
I thought if you took the Physicist and put his head up his butt you got an Engineer.
No. Just put the batteries in, when it starts working it's an engineer.
 
  • #31
Pah. They're both just a cheap knockoff of a mathematician!
 
  • #32
Aren't mathematicians afraid to drive?

After all, the width of the road is negligible when compared to its length.
 
  • #33
Physicist available:

Likes:

Back Rubs,
Good Food

Don't touch the napkins, they're important.
Leave the study alone, DO NOT try to tidy it up.

Otherwise, normal rules for handling men apply.

PM if interested...
 
  • #34
Brad_Ad23 said:
All I got for Christmas was an economist :frown:
That's so.. so.. um.. practical! :biggrin: Sure they don't glow in the dark and make funny noises like physicists, but I bet they're a heck of a lot more reliable.
 
  • #35
A Dodge Neon is a heck of a lot more reliable than a Ferrari.
See how I've compared an economist to a Dodge Neon and a physicist to a Ferrari? To continue this argument I would compare an engineer to a keychain
 
  • #36
Math Is Hard said:
That's so.. so.. um.. practical! :biggrin: Sure they don't glow in the dark and make funny noises like physicists, but I bet they're a heck of a lot more reliable.

But they aren't scientists!

Even though I'm a physicist I still wished for a mathematician :cry:

Getting an economist...follows the following equation:

Economist \equiv rock
 
  • #37
Hurkyl said:
Pah. They're both just a cheap knockoff of a mathematician!

Yes but the mathematician doll doesn't really exist. You only get a picture of a doll.
 
  • #38
The biologist doll comes with its own mold.
 
  • #39
Sick, Ivan, very sick. I like that.
 
  • #40
The Chemist doll comes pre-stained, and the consultant doll comes with a list of excuses as to why the project is late.

I really think this has potential. :biggrin:

What is included with the Proctologist doll?

The philosophy doll comes with a McDonald's employment application.
 
  • #41
Ivan, you're on quite a roll! I think it's time to run these ideas by Marketing.
 
  • #42
the proctologist doll comes with an engineer. He helps with the transformation to a physicist.
 
  • #43
tribdog said:
A Dodge Neon is a heck of a lot more reliable than a Ferrari.
See how I've compared an economist to a Dodge Neon and a physicist to a Ferrari? To continue this argument I would compare an engineer to a keychain
Yeah, neither will produce anything without the engineer.
 
  • #44
Artman said:
Yeah, neither will produce anything without the engineer.
geez, that's a typical engineer response. Seems so clever at first glance, but completely breaks down under examination.
I think I compared the engineer to a keychain, not a key.
 
Last edited:
  • #45
A physicist?!? Math Is Hard you are so lucky you got one; they're in such short supply I wasn't able to get one this year. :cry: :cry: :cry:
Oh well, birthday's coming up later this month, maybe I can get one by then.
 
  • #46
Artman said:
Yeah, neither will produce anything without the engineer.

I thought that engineers just go to meetings. There's more?!
 
  • #47
Ivan Seeking said:
I thought that engineers just go to meetings. There's more?!
I thought all they did was drive the train
 
  • #48
Well, I don't know. I've known quite a few physicists for quite a few years, and let me tell you - they don't really age all that well... :smile: :smile: :smile: (JUST KIDDING, IVAN, DEAR. YOU KNEW THAT I WOULD EVENTUALLY HAVE TO TOSS THIS IN HERE SOMEWHERE, NOW, DIDN'T YOU?? :smile:)
 
  • #49
tribdog said:
geez, that's a typical engineer response. Seems so clever at first glance, but completely breaks down under examination.
I think I compared the engineer to a keychain, not a key.
Right. Engineers hold the key to making things work. :smile:
 
  • #50
Ivan Seeking said:
I thought that engineers just go to meetings. There's more?!
Sure, we sit around holding pencils and wiggle them around when the boss comes in the room. :smile:
 
Back
Top