How Can You Improve Self-Control to Achieve Your Goals?

[nucleargirl]

I have really bad self control... basically I want to do things - things I know I should do, but I just can't make myself do them! this is causing a problem in my life! What can I do?
How do you make yourself do things that you don't want to do but you know you should do?
Any advice is welcome!

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

Practice meditation and yoga.

 

[lisab]

Practice meditation and yoga.

I should do that, I just can't seem to get motivated for it.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

I try to make things that I do not really like doing a habit so I am sort of programmed to do it regardless of my feelings on the mater. For instance I do not really like washing dishes but I have developed an aversion to a sink full of dirty dishes and I try to make sure to wash them as soon as I am done with them. The funny thing is that I hate doing dishes and such because I was constantly made to clean up after other people when I was young and I hate having a dirty apartment because I lived with a bunch of slobs growing up. My two programs are sort of in conflict but I sort of resolved it by getting cleaning done immediately instead of waiting for it to get so bad that it is a real chore.What sort of things are you talking about that you avoid doing?

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Practice meditation and yoga.

Do video games count as meditation? I often feel rather "zen" while engrossed in a game. ;-p

 

[nucleargirl]

I try to make things that I do not really like doing a habit so I am sort of programmed to do it regardless of my feelings on the mater. For instance I do not really like washing dishes but I have developed an aversion to a sink full of dirty dishes and I try to make sure to wash them as soon as I am done with them. The funny thing is that I hate doing dishes and such because I was constantly made to clean up after other people when I was young and I hate having a dirty apartment because I lived with a bunch of slobs growing up. My two programs are sort of in conflict but I sort of resolved it by getting cleaning done immediately instead of waiting for it to get so bad that it is a real chore.


What sort of things are you talking about that you avoid doing?

you know what, you are right - I should just make a habit of it - that's kind of what I tried - I did for a week, but now I've lost my rhythm. Its so stupid - I'm supposed to be looking for jobs! but got distracted by this forum... :)

 

[George Jones]

you know what, you are right - I should just make a habit of it - that's kind of what I tried - I did for a week, but now I've lost my rhythm. Its so stupid - I'm supposed to be looking for jobs! but got distracted by this forum... :)

Careful, once you fall through the event horizon, you will never get out.

 

[nucleargirl]

:) yep, I think I'm getting trapped! better find me a worm hole...

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

you know what, you are right - I should just make a habit of it - that's kind of what I tried - I did for a week, but now I've lost my rhythm. Its so stupid - I'm supposed to be looking for jobs! but got distracted by this forum... :)

Lol.. well if you are online you can easily check job search websites! Maybe you can set your most promising job search website as your home page for now. And it does not have to be a chore. Just devote a few hours a day. Three or four hours is probably lees than you would spend actually working at a job. If you have not much in the way of job leads then spend some time researching your field and checking on current demands and requirements for it. Look up good resume styles and tips on interviewing. I am sure you like learning if nothing else yes?

Just figure that three to four hours a day is not much. If you have had a job before it is less than you spent there, and I am quite certain it is less than you spent on your studies and classes at school. Its a mere pittance and you have the rest of the day for anything else.

 

[jackmell]

Assuming you're not depressed but rather healthy and understand getting things done is part of living a healthy life, then the best advice I can give you is to exercise an eat right. Perfect example: I hate cutting grass and I got a lot of it. So I can look out my window and dread it but if I first exercise say 40 minutes or so, then I'll be energized and actually "feel" like cutting the grass and doing other things of the day as well. So exercise regularly, eat healthy, stay active, avoid drugs, alcohol, cigs, and learn more about how to live well and you will grow to like getting things done even the ones that's not too fun.

Oh yeah, I also advocate devoting one room in your house as a gym so don't have to go far to do it.

 

[nucleargirl]

thats great advice guys! Jack - yeah! that's what I've started doing - just half an hour a day of excercise, and it does really make you feel better! I should probably try to do it in the morning tho to get me motivated!

and Ape, yeah you are right, 3 hours a day should be doable! its not the looking that's bad, its the actual applications - I hate saying the same slightly boastful things about myself over and over, so after a few applications I lose interest. I just need to get on with it I guess... that's the hard part.

thanks for all the replies! physics people are nice!

 

[QuarkCharmer]

I used to really "want" to do things, but just lacked the motivation. I would wait until the last minute to get everything done because I would always find something better (read: unproductive) to do in the time I allowed for doing such things. I would even have to force myself to eat regularly, was always tired, just sort of going about the motions of the day.

I started to excercise regularly, and that made me really hungry, so I started eating better. Not really "healthy" but eating regularly in general. I have so much more energy now, and a drive to do something with my days rather than doing the minumum. If you aren't excercising regularly I would highly suggest getting into some light jogging for a few weeks to at least see how you feel afterwards.

 

[Evo]

What if you have physical problems that prevent exercise?

I say that motivation should come from within because anytime you need some outside force to motivate you, as soon as that outside force is taken away or limited, you will be even worse off than before. Learn to motivate yourself with your mind.

 

[disregardthat]

Do video games count as meditation? I often feel rather "zen" while engrossed in a game. ;-p

Isn't intense concentration the opposite of "zen" (whatever that is) anyway?

 

[leroyjenkens]

Use the old Nike slogan: "Just do it". That's what I do. When I hesitate to do something that I need to do, I say to myself "just do it" and I just do it. It will make you begin doing it, then you just keep doing it until it's done.

 

[dlgoff]

I say that motivation should come from within... Learn to motivate yourself with your mind.

I certainly believe this but its effectiveness seems to be age dependent.

 

[QuarkCharmer]

I was in no way implying that motivation does not come from within. I just found my ability to "just do it" and self control skyrocketed when I made an effort to become a little bit healthier.

 

[Pythagorean]

I was in no way implying that motivation does not come from within. I just found my ability to "just do it" and self control skyrocketed when I made an effort to become a little bit healthier.

A healthy body is a healthy brain is a healthy mind.

Bruce Lee said so and he had a degree in philosophy :P

 

[nucleargirl]

:) hi guys! I just played ah hour of badminton so I'm feeling super motivated now! pumped full of endorphins! but its like 10pm now! should go to bed soon... damn... wasted neurotransmitters!

 

[DanP]

:) hi guys! I just played ah hour of badminton so I'm feeling super motivated now! pumped full of endorphins! but its like 10pm now! should go to bed soon... damn... wasted neurotransmitters!

seems you are motivated to sleep :P

 

[nucleargirl]

I am feel the most great motivational force right now... thought I'd share it with you! I wrote it on my profile, but wanted more people to see this...

:) I'm feel so happy now! I'm listening to 'Gyptian - hold yuh' and its so nice! wow... never underestimate the power of your mind! it is amazing! I'm so glad we are humans - we could have ended up as anything! isn't it the most amazing thing to be a human? to have the ability to think, to reflect, to probe into the unknown only with the power of our minds... it seems so fragile, so unlikely, but we have made it so far, and we will make it further still. It is just incredible... our minds, the universe, life...

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Self control? Hmmmm, I'm not one to tout great abilities here, but I have often reflected upon something an old friend once said:

What you do today determines what you will be five years from now.

The trick is to recognize that consequences are real. If you can truly accept that reality, then motivation is not a problem. Just use fear.

Ask yourself where you will be in five years if you refuse to act today.

 

[nucleargirl]

wow, that's really good advice Ivan.

 

[nucleargirl]

man! I've been trying the above - thinking that if I don't do anything now I will be a professional bum in 5 years... but its somewhat lost its power now! it worked for a few days... but now its back to square 1... sigh...

 

[Ivan Seeking]

man! I've been trying the above - thinking that if I don't do anything now I will be a professional bum in 5 years... but its somewhat lost its power now! it worked for a few days... but now its back to square 1... sigh...

What do you want to be doing in five years?

 

[Office_Shredder]

Professional hitman.

I just don't see how continuing my math Phd will bring me closer to this goal. I must be a poor self-motivator

 

[Pythagorean]

I think a lot of times, behavior that seems like self-control really isn't. For instance, I'm one of my only friends that doesn't drink. It's not because I'm highly disciplined (I have plenty of my own vices) it's just that I'm not interested in drinking.

Yet, time and time again, my lack of interest in drinking is mistaken for self control.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Professional hitman.

I just don't see how continuing my math Phd will bring me closer to this goal. I must be a poor self-motivator

targeting

 

[nucleargirl]

What do you want to be doing in five years?

I don't really know! I want to have my own place to live... and an income... and a car... but I don't know what I want to be 'doing'... well a job of some sort...

 

[fuzzyfelt]

Professional hitman.

I just don't see how continuing my math Phd will bring me closer to this goal. I must be a poor self-motivator