- #1
Jennanana
- 10
- 3
I'm not sure how to best put this, but I'm in what seems like an almost un-fixable predicament. I graduated in 2015 with two degrees, one of which is a B.S. in Physics with a minor in Astronomy, the other a B.A. in Russian Langauge (did that one not really for career prospects but because I wanted to learn the language).
I've struggled to find a good job due to my mediocre performance in my Physics classes. I struggled in school for a multitude of reasons, almost all of which are deeply personal and probably not relevant, as employers or higher-education programs don't care about those details. My transcript speaks for itself. In a way, that's true, but suffice it so say I'm basically a different person now than I was even 1.5 years ago.
My cumulative GPA was 2.93. My in-major Russian GPA was 4.0 until I got an A- in my last class for it. I don't want to even do the math to figure out how bad my in-major Physics GPA was. I always performed solidly in classes I took over Summer breaks to bring back with me in the following Fall as transfer credit (I did this to bring my total time for these unrelated degrees down to 5 years). I have zero research experience, because I did ROTC my entire college career, which absorbed all my time and gave me the "guarantee of a job" when I was done, only to be medically disqualified in the end. People like me can't even join any military branch until July of 2017, so maybe that's my literally last option if I had to, but I don't think I would feel safe going that route with my life anymore.
I'm okay with knowing I could have done better. I know that it was not typical of me to perform so poorly, and frankly I'm embarrassed, and don't really divulge that information very often. Almost everyone who knows me has been surprised to find out I am currently struggling because I didn't go well in school (if that detail ever comes up). They all assumed, based on knowing me on a more personal level, that of course I did well. I typically excel at my work, am very driven to get what I want (now), and unfortunately lately have been driven to desperation.
Being from a lower middle-class family, I was very strongly pushed to "go to college, get a good job, live the good life" that my family hadn't ever aspired to. I am the only one in my immediate family to finish college. I lived with my single mother my whole life, father not involved, and she had her own financial problems. But somehow I was unable to qualify for much aid at all, maybe $500 is the most I ever got. The entire rest of 5 years, plus summers, was financed through private lenders. I know I was a complete idiot for doing this now, but I didn't know before just how bad it was. If I did great in school, it could have been less of a problem, too. I should mention now that I am in the USA. Private student loans are quite nearly impossible to get rid of here except by paying up, and lenders are impossible to work with should you experience financial hardship.
I have $90,000 left in private student loan debt. $25,000 in federal debt that I am not required to make payments on because I'm so poor. I got a second job three weeks ago. Before that, my first job paid very minimally. I was lucky to bring in ~$900+ a month. With this second job, that should improve by ~$400 a month. But as it stands right now, I am literally bankrupt. My boss lent me $20 for gas to get to work next week until I get my paycheck (talk about embarrassing--I was holding back tears as it was happening). I spent the last of my money last week on cheap groceries. I am couch-surfing for 2 more weeks until I have a stable place to stay.
Suffice it to say, I have had enough of this. I'm quite literally floundering, with no real idea how to improve my situation.
I've thought of hardcore studying and trying to ace the Physics GRE, but the more I think about that, the less practical it seems. Even if somehow I manage to catch up on what I feel like is a shaky base of knowledge, and even if I do SUPER well on that test, my academic record is still unimpressive and there is almost no reason to pick me over anyone else.
I've thought about taking classes whenever possible, wherever possible, and to try and do something with those. But do what exactly? I don't know. Apply them to another bachelor's degree and be damn sure I'm the best student they've ever seen? That seems impractical. Though if I did, I think I would go for Computer Science or something.
Then I heard about this concept of "post-baccalaureate" studies that are normally done in medical fields. I did some Google-fu to see if it's a thing in physics or astrophysics, and lo and behold it is, although quite rare. Maybe this sort of program could be my ticket. If I can apply and somehow get accepted, my loans can go into deferment since I would be a student a student, postponing that crap-shoot but at least providing some relief. I could finally get some research experience which is literally only a positive compared to what I have now.
I don't know, though. Being so down in the dumps and stuck so far in this rut has made it difficult for me to sell myself and talk up my skills when I feel like I've failed.
Does anyone have any advice?
I've struggled to find a good job due to my mediocre performance in my Physics classes. I struggled in school for a multitude of reasons, almost all of which are deeply personal and probably not relevant, as employers or higher-education programs don't care about those details. My transcript speaks for itself. In a way, that's true, but suffice it so say I'm basically a different person now than I was even 1.5 years ago.
My cumulative GPA was 2.93. My in-major Russian GPA was 4.0 until I got an A- in my last class for it. I don't want to even do the math to figure out how bad my in-major Physics GPA was. I always performed solidly in classes I took over Summer breaks to bring back with me in the following Fall as transfer credit (I did this to bring my total time for these unrelated degrees down to 5 years). I have zero research experience, because I did ROTC my entire college career, which absorbed all my time and gave me the "guarantee of a job" when I was done, only to be medically disqualified in the end. People like me can't even join any military branch until July of 2017, so maybe that's my literally last option if I had to, but I don't think I would feel safe going that route with my life anymore.
I'm okay with knowing I could have done better. I know that it was not typical of me to perform so poorly, and frankly I'm embarrassed, and don't really divulge that information very often. Almost everyone who knows me has been surprised to find out I am currently struggling because I didn't go well in school (if that detail ever comes up). They all assumed, based on knowing me on a more personal level, that of course I did well. I typically excel at my work, am very driven to get what I want (now), and unfortunately lately have been driven to desperation.
Being from a lower middle-class family, I was very strongly pushed to "go to college, get a good job, live the good life" that my family hadn't ever aspired to. I am the only one in my immediate family to finish college. I lived with my single mother my whole life, father not involved, and she had her own financial problems. But somehow I was unable to qualify for much aid at all, maybe $500 is the most I ever got. The entire rest of 5 years, plus summers, was financed through private lenders. I know I was a complete idiot for doing this now, but I didn't know before just how bad it was. If I did great in school, it could have been less of a problem, too. I should mention now that I am in the USA. Private student loans are quite nearly impossible to get rid of here except by paying up, and lenders are impossible to work with should you experience financial hardship.
I have $90,000 left in private student loan debt. $25,000 in federal debt that I am not required to make payments on because I'm so poor. I got a second job three weeks ago. Before that, my first job paid very minimally. I was lucky to bring in ~$900+ a month. With this second job, that should improve by ~$400 a month. But as it stands right now, I am literally bankrupt. My boss lent me $20 for gas to get to work next week until I get my paycheck (talk about embarrassing--I was holding back tears as it was happening). I spent the last of my money last week on cheap groceries. I am couch-surfing for 2 more weeks until I have a stable place to stay.
Suffice it to say, I have had enough of this. I'm quite literally floundering, with no real idea how to improve my situation.
I've thought of hardcore studying and trying to ace the Physics GRE, but the more I think about that, the less practical it seems. Even if somehow I manage to catch up on what I feel like is a shaky base of knowledge, and even if I do SUPER well on that test, my academic record is still unimpressive and there is almost no reason to pick me over anyone else.
I've thought about taking classes whenever possible, wherever possible, and to try and do something with those. But do what exactly? I don't know. Apply them to another bachelor's degree and be damn sure I'm the best student they've ever seen? That seems impractical. Though if I did, I think I would go for Computer Science or something.
Then I heard about this concept of "post-baccalaureate" studies that are normally done in medical fields. I did some Google-fu to see if it's a thing in physics or astrophysics, and lo and behold it is, although quite rare. Maybe this sort of program could be my ticket. If I can apply and somehow get accepted, my loans can go into deferment since I would be a student a student, postponing that crap-shoot but at least providing some relief. I could finally get some research experience which is literally only a positive compared to what I have now.
I don't know, though. Being so down in the dumps and stuck so far in this rut has made it difficult for me to sell myself and talk up my skills when I feel like I've failed.
Does anyone have any advice?