I'm Older Than Most Grad Students: Should I Join In?

[gravenewworld]

I'm a first year grad student and keep getting emails from other grad students in the program about wanting to do all sorts of activities outside the classroom like a Turkey Bowl flag football game, a talent show near xmas (department is almost requiring participation), a halloween costume party that is traditionally hosted by 1st years for everyone else in the program, etc (you get the idea). So is it bad that I'm not really interested at all in going to any of these or participating in any of them? Look, I'm a little older than most of these kids (starting out at 28 almost 29 years old). I really don't care anymore about happy hours, going out to bars, costume parties, pumpkin pickings, etc. I just want my degree as fast as possible and to get out of here as fast as possible. I'm not here to delay real life and prolong the college experience. Should I really hang out with fellow younger classmates? I already have tons of friends that live close by and have a significant other so it's not like I'm a hermit or looking for a potential mate anyways.

 

[johng23]

Why would you even ask this? You already have friends and you aren't interested - sounds like you made your mind up already.

 

[Pengwuino]

You're an adult, you should understand the consequences of taking part in the activities versus not taking part in. If you shun people, you probably will be SOL if you need help from other students. On the other hand, if you're a top student, you'll have less people probably trying to bug you for help (at least, I would hope)

 

[Choppy]

I wouldn't worry too much about this. It might be a good idea to show up to one or two events, but you don't have to let your fellow students be your social life. Your spare time (what little there is) is yours to spend how you chose. I think it's a good idea to associate with people outside of the academic bubble anyway.

 

[jtbell]

On the other hand, I don't think you should cut yourself off completely from your fellow students socially. You never know what career-related opportunities might open up as a result of your contacts with them.

 

[ThinkToday]

The saying "all work and no play", so true. You'll need the occasional sanity break. Your mental health will be better for it. A stressed mind isn't going to think as clearly.

Lastly, it's the job that pays you money, not the education. Some of the people you shun may be the same people you are trying to get a job with in the future. How do you want to be remembered?

Everything in moderation though.

 

[phoenix:\\]

Participate in a few activities and then say you have other things you are busy with and don't have time. That is better than completely pushing everyone away.

I actually had a group of people ask me once whether I hated them or not and that wasn't the case, I just didn't care to participate in the group activities, etc... So I made an effort to truck on through with whatever group activity that was going on because I didn't want to completely shut them out.