Is confidence everything?

[JasonRox]

Oh, I missed this. You're right, you better not let us know the secrets of your Legendary Super Saiyan Anti-confidence Blast, it might fall into the wrong hands.

​

It's all in Psychology. Not complicated.

 

[Evo]

I had a great fear of public speaking, no confidence in myself at all during those situations. I would say it was more like being terrified to be placed in that type of situation. I had a talk with a professor, and he suggested I join Toastmasters. I had no idea what that was, but a few years later I found a Toastmasters chapter in my community. I jumped in and joined them. Their approach was to gradually get you used to speaking in front of the group before you ever made your first introductory speech (about yourself). By about my eight speech, I can honestly say that things had pretty much turned around for me to the point that I even found it something to look forward to. It built up my confidence in being around others and especially in speaking to groups in formal situations. It was a case of prctice, practice, practice.

Toastmasters is quite good, from what I've heard. I think my days of public speaking are over (I hope). I hate public speaking. My largest audience was to an automotive shareholders meeting in Las Vegas. They had 10,000 attendees. I'm not sure how many were in the auditorium each time, maybe a couple of thousand. By the end of the day I was on autopilot. Since I was explaining new technologies to them, I could have been spouting complete gibberish and still gotten applause, they had no clue what I was talking about. The next few days were spent explaining things to the heads of the companies that were brave enough to come to me for more detailed information.

 

[Office_Shredder]

Oh, I missed this. You're right, you better not let us know the secrets of your Legendary Super Saiyan Anti-confidence Blast, it might fall into the wrong hands.

​

You are overconfident. HADOUKEN!

 

[physics girl phd]

Confidence is a tool... there are times to exude both warranted and unwarranted confidence and times to be deliberately humble. Knowing when these tools are appropriate is "everything."

Also, you should probably always have a good degree of honesty in either approach. (Although I confess to guilt in "crimes of omission", and I do speak the occasional small "white lie." These tools I think are "okay" to use... maybe I like liking in the "gray" area of morality ).

 

[Andre]

Do you feel that confidence, both actualized internally, and projected externally in dealings with people, is perhaps among the most important factor for obtaining a quality of life devoid of excessive disconsolation?

No, I don't think so. Provided that you're normal mentally stable, there is no problem to communicate about uncertainties. That's human. Just don't overdo it. Introversy is probably a bigger obstacle. You should try and force yourself out of it, and don't worry about making mistakes.

And remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

 

[runner]

I've been thinking that even if a person has not fulfilled the societal mainstreams of what "success" is supposed to be, they might still be "respected", so long as they project an aura of confidence that is not necessarily unwarranted.

It seems like we are always concerned about others' opinions and evaluations, especially about ourselves. That concern can make the acceptance of ourselves and of life around us a difficult thing to understand. So the thing that needs to be done is to look deep within yourself and come to the realization that you are perfect just the way you are because nature (or perhaps you prefer God) doesn't make any such distinctions. And then, when you accept life just as it is, on its own terms, there is no need to project anything but yourself. That's when you will notice that tension and pessimism and discontent will disappear and you will begin to feel much better about yourself and about others, just naturally and without creating any artificial mask.

 

[JasonRox]

And remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Exactly.

I used to be a huge introvert before. I'm the complete opposite now. I barely recognize myself when I think back 2-3 years ago.

I notice that people occupy themselves with trivial thoughts all the time. I also hate repetitive behaviour too. Sometimes I'll just say goodnight to this girl I know, and off to bed. Then I get a message in the morning sayingI forgot to... kiss goodnight. WTF? Did she seriously think that during the night or what? So trivial and pointless.