Hijinks occur as you use the foam hand to pull over motorists pretending to be a hitch-hiker; as the driver rolls down the window you shout obscenities while trying to poke them in the eye with your freshly removed finger
Let's see what you now qualify for:
Do you often find that your emotions are inappropriate for a given situation?
Obviously this is now satisfied
Is your appearance or behavior considered "eccentric" by other people?
Obviously this is now satisfied
Do you take actions without thinking about the consequences?
You just cut off your finger to qualify for a personality disorder. Of course you do
Do you often feel like people are saying negative things about you behind your back?
Yes, because they are. In fact, at this point they're saying negative things about you to your face
Do you often see things in black and white terms? In other words, something either is or it isn't, with no gray area inbetween.
You either
do or
do not have a personality disorder. There is no try
Do you intentionally injure yourself, for instance by cutting yourself or taking too many pills?
You. Just. Cut. Off. Your. Finger.
Have you ever been in jail or done something that you could be put in jail for?
At this point probably
Do you occasionally or often dress or act provocatively to gain attention?
Of course, that was the whole point
Do you often let others make important decisions for you?
You just let me talk you into cutting off your finger, so we'll put this one down as a yes
Are you very concerned with your appearance and how others perceive you?
You're concerned about having a personality disorder, so let's say yes to this too.
Do you have a hard time throwing things away, even if they are old and worn out?
I'm going to go ahead and assume you hold onto that finger and try to get it re-attached or something
and...
damn. You still don't have a personality disorder. Ok, I'll have to think about it
.
