hypatia said:
Just before they went into warp, I beamed the whole kit and kaboodle into their engine room, where they'll be no tribble at all." -- Scotty, The Trouble With Tribbles
Hey, that's one of my favorites!
Kirk is questioning Scotty after he gets into a fight with some Klingons.
Kirk: Scotty. You were supposed to stay out of trouble.
Scott: Aye, sir.
Kirk: Who did it, Scotty?
Scott: Umm... *looks down* I did, Captain...
Kirk: You did, Mr. Scott?
Scott: Aye...
Kirk: You... threw... the first punch...
Scott: Aye. Chekov wanted to, Sir, but I held him back!
Kirk: You held him b--- Why did Chekov want to start a fight?
Scott: Well sir, umm... Is this off the record?
Kirk: No, this isn't off the record!
Scott: Well, sir. They called you a... tin-plated, overbearing, swaggering dictator with... delusions of God-hood...
Kirk: Was that all?
Scott: No, sir! They also compared you to a denebian slime devil!
Kirk: I see...
Scott: And then they said---
Kirk: I get the picture, Scotty!
Scott: Aye...
Kirk: And... that's when you hit the Klingons.
Scott: No, sir.
Kirk: No?
Scott: No, uh... Well, you told us to stay out of trouble... and after all, we are big enough to take a few insults... aren't we?
Kirk: What was it that started the fight?
Scott: They called the Enterprise a "Garbage Scow!" ... Sir.
Kirk: And... that's when you hit the Klingons.
Scott: Yes, sir!
Kirk: You hit the Klingons... because they insulted the Enterprise... Not because they insulted---
Scott: Well, sir! This was a matter or pride!