JohnnyGui said:
you know the distance to LIGO arm B
How do you know the distance? You knew the distance before the GW passed by, but how do you know it stayed the same?
In the case of the meter sticks, we knew the distance wouldn't change because the spacetime is static. (We also have to assume that both meter sticks are following static worldlines, i.e., worldlines that remain at the same radial coordinate in standard Schwarzschild coordinates. But we were assuming that anyway.) But a region of spacetime where GWs are present, the spacetime is not static. So you can't assume the distance when the GW passes is the same as it was before the GW passed.
Note, btw, that we are also assuming that we have a well-defined measurement method for the distance. Different methods could yield different results, so we really should specify what method we are using.
JohnnyGui said:
What length would one, standing at LIGO arm A, measure?
Let's take a step back and ask: would the angle subtended by LIGO arm B, as observed at A,
change when the GW passed? I think the answer to that question is yes (assuming sufficiently precise measurements).
If you want to interpret that observation as meaning that the length of arm B changed, that's a permissible interpretation. But it's still an interpretation. You could also interpret it this way: the passing GW distorts the paths of light rays so that the angle observed at A changes even though the length of arm B didn't change. Or you could interpret it as the passing GW changing the distance from arm B to A, so the arm subtends a different angle even though its length hasn't changed.
Let's go back and look at the meter stick scenario again, for comparison. A question we didn't ask before is this: suppose we place an observer so that he is at the same distance from both meter sticks ("distance" measured in the same way in both cases--we won't specify what that way is). Will the angle subtended by both meter sticks, as observed by that observer, be the same? I believe the answer to that question is no.
So can we also interpret this result as telling us that the length of the meter stick close to the massive object is different? Strictly speaking, we could. But now let's imagine other experiments we could run to test this. Suppose we place both meter sticks so they are oriented vertically. We take a very long rod and place it radially so that it lies alongside the meter sticks as it passes them. We make marks on the rod that are 1 meter stick length apart in both places, and verify that each meter stick lies exactly between two adjacent marks (i.e., each end of the stick coincides with one of two adjacent marks).
Now we very slowly and carefully move the rod vertically so that it shifts, relative to the meter stick far away from the object, by exactly one mark. For concreteness, say we move the rod downwards, so at the end of the movement, the mark that was at the top of the faraway meter stick is now at the bottom, and the mark that was next above the top mark is now at the top. Then we ask: did the rod also shift by exactly one mark relative to the meter stick close to the massive object? The answer to that will be yes.
In fact, we could go even further. We could very slowly and carefully lower the rod so that the two marks that initially coincided with the faraway meter stick now coincide with the close-in meter stick. And the faraway meter stick would now lie exactly between an adjacent pair of marks that were initially much further up the rod.
The bottom line is that the "length" of an object in a general curved spacetime is not a single well-defined property of the object. Different experiments involving "lengths" can give different results, even experiments that you would expect to give the same results in flat spacetime. And the relationship between various different experimental results can be different for different curved spacetime geometries.