- #1
rachmaninoff
I'd like to publish this in a peer-reviewed journal, but they'd probably reject it. I think General Discussion is an equally valid medium.
"Synthesis of Instant Coffee using Non Heated Water"
rachmaninoff
PF Institute For Coffee Science*
*not affiliated with the http://www.mc.vanderbilt.edu/coffee/"
Abstract: I demonstrate the title experimentally.
Introduction: Conventional coffee-brewing methodology states that instant coffee needs hot water to be synthesized (1). We claim that this is in fact incorrect, and further speculate that a conspiracy of water-heating corporations is responsible for this misinformation.(2)
Experimental methods: 1/6 tsp. of Instant Coffee is mixed with 25mL of cold water at 290K, at 102.34(2) kPa, at a background neutron flux of 1 neutron/fortnight.
Fig. 1: me before olfactory sampling
:zzz:
Fig. 2: me after olfactory sampling
Analysis: The optical properties of the result are similar to those of ordinary coffee; it tastes somewhat worse. The coffee granules dissolve completely in <30 seconds. We hypothesize that the caffeine concentration is similar to that of mainstream coffee; a better-funded lab could verify this with GCMS.
Toxicology: Unknown.
Conclusions: A simpler method to brew instant coffee without heating water is presented. We expect our method will replace conventional methods, saving billions of dollars a day and revitalizing the economy, hence defeating communism and averting nuclear war. We politely request a Nobel prize.
(1) Nescafe et. al, "100% Pure Instant Coffee", side panel, particularly step two
(2) Conversations with Gen. J. Ripper.
"Synthesis of Instant Coffee using Non Heated Water"
rachmaninoff
PF Institute For Coffee Science*
*not affiliated with the http://www.mc.vanderbilt.edu/coffee/"
Abstract: I demonstrate the title experimentally.
Introduction: Conventional coffee-brewing methodology states that instant coffee needs hot water to be synthesized (1). We claim that this is in fact incorrect, and further speculate that a conspiracy of water-heating corporations is responsible for this misinformation.(2)
Experimental methods: 1/6 tsp. of Instant Coffee is mixed with 25mL of cold water at 290K, at 102.34(2) kPa, at a background neutron flux of 1 neutron/fortnight.
Fig. 1: me before olfactory sampling
:zzz:
Fig. 2: me after olfactory sampling
Analysis: The optical properties of the result are similar to those of ordinary coffee; it tastes somewhat worse. The coffee granules dissolve completely in <30 seconds. We hypothesize that the caffeine concentration is similar to that of mainstream coffee; a better-funded lab could verify this with GCMS.
Toxicology: Unknown.
Conclusions: A simpler method to brew instant coffee without heating water is presented. We expect our method will replace conventional methods, saving billions of dollars a day and revitalizing the economy, hence defeating communism and averting nuclear war. We politely request a Nobel prize.
(1) Nescafe et. al, "100% Pure Instant Coffee", side panel, particularly step two
(2) Conversations with Gen. J. Ripper.
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And you have a license to handle neutrons?