I'd like to publish this in a peer-reviewed journal, but they'd probably reject it. I think General Discussion is an equally valid medium. "Synthesis of Instant Coffee using Non Heated Water" rachmaninoff PF Institute For Coffee Science* *not affiliated with the Institute For Coffee Studies Abstract: I demonstrate the title experimentally. Introduction: Conventional coffee-brewing methodology states that instant coffee needs hot water to be synthesized (1). We claim that this is in fact incorrect, and further speculate that a conspiracy of water-heating corporations is responsible for this misinformation.(2) Experimental methods: 1/6 tsp. of Instant Coffee is mixed with 25mL of cold water at 290K, at 102.34(2) kPa, at a background neutron flux of 1 neutron/fortnight. Fig. 1: me before olfactory sampling :zzz: Fig. 2: me after olfactory sampling Analysis: The optical properties of the result are similar to those of ordinary coffee; it tastes somewhat worse. The coffee granules dissolve completely in <30 seconds. We hypothesize that the caffeine concentration is similar to that of mainstream coffee; a better-funded lab could verify this with GCMS. Toxicology: Unknown. Conclusions: A simpler method to brew instant coffee without heating water is presented. We expect our method will replace conventional methods, saving billions of dollars a day and revitalizing the economy, hence defeating communism and averting nuclear war. We politely request a Nobel prize. (1) Nescafe et. al, "100% Pure Instant Coffee", side panel, particularly step two (2) Conversations with Gen. J. Ripper.