My Romantic Woes: A Story of Failed First Dates

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A man shares his frustrating experience with a first date that went awry due to the interference of his date's friend, Harriet. After initially enjoying a good connection with Mary, the situation deteriorates when Harriet becomes upset about a kiss shared between Mary and the man, fearing judgment from her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Despite the man's attempts to be accommodating and supportive, Harriet's jealousy leads to a confrontation that ultimately ruins the evening. Although he and Mary manage to have a good time afterward and plan a second date, Mary later expresses uncertainty about continuing due to Harriet's disapproval. The discussion highlights the complexities of dating dynamics influenced by friends and social expectations.
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  • #62
That's you? I had visions of you being a LOT older.

Or is that 'mary'? In which case she's not really a looker.
 
  • #63
Are you interested in this girl romantically, or are you OK just texting and chatting with her once in a while?

Cause lots of women will keep men orbiting them like that, and I think it's pretty disrespectful. If you're interested in her romantically, you shouldn't accept some whiney friend relegating you to the friend zone.

If you want to get the girl back out on some dates, the best way would be to cut off contact completely for a while and go do other things for a while. Get back in touch with her a couple weeks later and casually suggest getting together sometime. If she really likes you (seems she does) then the absence should make her realize that she wants you in her life, and to hell with the whiney friend.

BUT, if you give her all the texting and chatting without expecting to ever SEE her again, there's little doubt she'll be happy to have a new guy to use as an emotional outlet for a while, until she finds someone else.
 
  • #64
jarednjames said:
That's you? I had visions of you being a LOT older.

No, that's my grandson. But we look exactly alike. Yes, I hide my age because it seems that "being young" is a worse stigma than "being wrong."

jarednjames said:
Or is that 'mary'? In which case she's not really a looker.

Hah. Okay. I literally LOL'd at this one. Thanks for that.
 
  • #65
FlexGunship said:
No, that's my grandson. But we look exactly alike. Yes, I hide my age because it seems that "being young" is a worse stigma than "being wrong."

Stigma or not, I shall not hide who I am (my age is in my profile) and my username is my name.

(Only thing not available is picture of me - more due to lack of a current one than anything else.)

Hah. Okay. I literally LOL'd at this one. Thanks for that.[/QUOTE]

Well you did say "personal pictures" and I just assumed you meant something relating to said topic of conversation. I was actually expecting something a little more...intimate.
 
  • #66
jarednjames said:
I was actually expecting something a little more...intimate.

Sorry to disappoint. You'll have to buy me dinner and drinks before you see anything like that. BTW, I'm still way older than you. :-p

Maturity on the other hand...
 
  • #67
wasteofo2 said:
Are you interested in this girl romantically, or are you OK just texting and chatting with her once in a while?

Romantically. Sorry if that wasn't obvious.

wasteofo2 said:
If you want to get the girl back out on some dates, the best way would be to cut off contact completely for a while and go do other things for a while. Get back in touch with her a couple weeks later and casually suggest getting together sometime.

Hmm, interesting idea. I might be getting close to that anyway. I'm not going to keep a one-way line of communication open for very long. That's just weird. Maybe I'll tell her clearly: "I'm going to stop trying to get in touch with you for two weeks. After that I'll give you a call and see if you want to go out."

It just sucks from a practical perspective too. She was really sweet and said she would help me with my Christmas shopping. As a guy, I am entirely unequipped to handle this.
 
  • #68
This whole thing is starting to make me sick; honestly. It seems that anytime I meet someone I'm genuinely interested in and with whom I feel a significant connection... something external happens to ruin it. Last time, I was dating a girl with two kids. They lived with me, and things were great... until the father of her kids (arbitrarily) decided he wanted them all back. That was more than a year ago, and this is the first time since then that I've felt that kind of intuitive connection with someone.

EDIT: What do I do? Wait another year, meet another wonderful girl... and wait for her to get hit with space debris?

Flex,

I never hang in the relationship forums, but you have a genuine talent for wit and humor, and the PF dog-piler's make this thread worth reading. That being said, I have a humble suggestion.

Do whatever really engages you and that you truly love to do, outside of looking to meet a woman. While you are having a great time being yourself and at ease, be open to opportunity for whatever comes your way. (Being engaged in some thing pleasurable takes you away from the anxiety and stress, a very good thing). This strategy (in a different context) has and is serving me well. Best of luck.

Rhody...
 
  • #69
rhody said:
I never hang in the relationship forums, but you have a genuine talent for wit and humor, and the PF dog-piler's make this thread worth reading.

Thank you, I appreciate that.

rhody said:
Do whatever really engages you and that you truly love to do, outside of looking to meet a woman. While you are having a great time being yourself and at ease, be open to opportunity for whatever comes your way. (Being engaged in some thing pleasurable takes you away from the anxiety and stress, a very good thing).

Well, Rhody, I appreciate the advice, but those aren't the girls I'm interested in. I like to go climbing and I race my car (in season). Frankly, I'm just plain not interested in dating people from those pools. That's not to say I haven't done it, they're just never "my type." Furthermore, I have no interest in dating myself. I don't want to date someone that's like me (I get enough of me as it is!). I want someone that's starkly different.

I've never felt the anxiety or stress that other people talk about while on a date. In fact, I've always thought: "If I can't be myself around the person, there's not much of a point to being around them."

And that's the clincher... Mary (I always type the real name first and have to delete it) is one of those super rare girls. And we had an awesome time! It's like spending your life looking for an incredibly rare animal, finding it, capturing it, only to have it eaten right out of your hand by some sort of obnoxiously common animal.

By the way, I've gotten angry enough about this over the course of the day to become moderately spiteful. So I found a picture of Harriet to upload... weirdly pale, eyes too far apart, and teeth that could by a potato through a picket fence. Now imagine this looking at you just generally being bitchy.

049-funny-photos.jpg


EDIT: Harriet has darker hair.
 
  • #70
Ironically, one of my friends just recommended that I "get back on the horse."

Ugh...
 
  • #71
cristo said:
Whether you'd want to date a girl who drink-drives is another question...

PF needs a 'Like' button.
 
  • #72
FlexGunship said:
049-funny-photos.jpg

At least she has a cute forelock.
 
  • #73
FlexGunship said:
Thank you, I appreciate that.



Well, Rhody, I appreciate the advice, but those aren't the girls I'm interested in. I like to go climbing and I race my car (in season). Frankly, I'm just plain not interested in dating people from those pools. That's not to say I haven't done it, they're just never "my type." Furthermore, I have no interest in dating myself. I don't want to date someone that's like me (I get enough of me as it is!). I want someone that's starkly different.

I've never felt the anxiety or stress that other people talk about while on a date. In fact, I've always thought: "If I can't be myself around the person, there's not much of a point to being around them."

And that's the clincher... Mary (I always type the real name first and have to delete it) is one of those super rare girls. And we had an awesome time! It's like spending your life looking for an incredibly rare animal, finding it, capturing it, only to have it eaten right out of your hand by some sort of obnoxiously common animal.

By the way, I've gotten angry enough about this over the course of the day to become moderately spiteful. So I found a picture of Harriet to upload... weirdly pale, eyes too far apart, and teeth that could by a potato through a picket fence. Now imagine this looking at you just generally being bitchy.

049-funny-photos.jpg


EDIT: Harriet has darker hair.

Flex,

You just made my day... :smile: I had to scroll to see the picture, and I lost it, very well done, best of luck in whatever strategy you choose...

Rhody...
 
  • #74
rhody said:
Flex,

You just made my day... :smile: I had to scroll to see the picture, and I lost it, very well done, best of luck in whatever strategy you choose...

Rhody...

Thanks Rhody.
 
  • #75
Hm. Flex, glad to say your pic kind of matches the image in my head.

And sad to say, Harriet's does too.
 
Last edited:
  • #76
DaveC426913 said:
Hm. Flex, glad to say your pic kind of matches the image in my head.

Damnit, I hate being a stereotype.
 
  • #77
FlexGunship said:
Damnit, I hate being a stereotype.

Nah, no stereotype. I just guessed that your username indicated a 20-something.
 
  • #78
DaveC426913 said:
Nah, no stereotype. I just guessed that your username indicated a 20-something.

Hah! Well you're wrong, Dave... I'm not 20-something, I'm 20-five!

Er... 25.

And a half.
 
  • #79
I like the advices so far, especially Wasteofo2.

Here's what I'll do. Keep yourself BUSY with other girls, and then ask her out again.

Btw, could you tell if she likes you?. That's useful to know.
 
  • #80
Hi Flex, still fuming? I agree with the others who have suggested finding a few other girls and taking showers with them. It will get your mind off, well, most everything. Including what's her name. See, I forgot already.
 
  • #81
Oh Flexy, this doest bring back memories..

Frankly I don't approve the backdoor deal to get rid of the bald fat guy, but karma seems to have gotten you back (I don't believe in Karma, for what its worth).

Also, if someone like Harriet was trying to corkblock me while I was trying to kiss a girl I would ever so not politely tell her in not so many shades of tone of voice to stfu. I have done it before, and yes there is a chance you will be slapped, but she is a girl, how hard can it be, really?

Moving on. Some girls are just not worth the effort, and it is best to move on and not waste your time. Frankly a 3 strike policy would be the best approach. During the date, keep track of strikes against her, and just walk away on the third strike. Doesn't matter if you leaving her in the middle of the ghetto - just walk. Away.
 
  • #82
cronxeh said:
During the date, keep track of strikes against her...

Oh yeah. This is the way to lead a well-adjusted life... :rolleyes:
 
  • #83
DaveC426913 said:
Oh yeah. This is the way to lead a well-adjusted life... :rolleyes:

As much as I think everything cronxeh says and thinks is wrong, I don't think this is a bad idea. I've noticed that the people who are just awful human beings in my life will raise multiple red flags that must be taken seriously fairly quickly. On the other hand, people who are fine won't raise many in quick succession.
 
  • #84
Pengwuino said:
As much as I think everything cronxeh says and thinks is wrong, I don't think this is a bad idea. I've noticed that the people who are just awful human beings in my life will raise multiple red flags that must be taken seriously fairly quickly. On the other hand, people who are fine won't raise many in quick succession.

He doesn't say take 'red flags seriously'; he says 'keep score during the date'.

It's one thing to be able to recognize when something is a lost cause, but going into it ready to tick off boxes is looking for it to fail. And whaddya know - it will!
 
  • #85
I know this one woman for about 2 months now, and I have yet to give her a single strike in my mind :biggrin:

I'm sure I've accumulated a few strike in her mind though :biggrin:
 
  • #86
cronxeh said:
I know this one woman for about 2 months now, and I have yet to give her a single strike in my mind :biggrin:

Well you keep lookin'! It'll turn up if you just look hard enough.
 
  • #87
DaveC426913 said:
Well you keep lookin'! It'll turn up if you just look hard enough.

Are you kidding, this one is a keeper.
 
  • #88
DaveC426913 said:
Well you keep lookin'! It'll turn up if you just look hard enough.

Blinded by love?
 
  • #89
cronxeh said:
Are you kidding, this one is a keeper.

What's his name?
 
  • #90
Pengwuino said:
What's his name?

Haven't you heard? Cyrus is getting pinked soon, you don't have to call him a him anymore
 

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