malai5 suggested to write down "what do i need to know at this time?" and see what floats in. i saw no harm in this so i did. and i began auto-writing. i'm not making a definite claim about the source of this writing except that it is probably something very personal to me. perhaps it is my subconscious, although i don't believe so. my source is what i will refer to as IT, and malai5's source he calls "upstairs." IT had much to say. my consciousness shifted when i was writing what IT said. then IT would stop writing and i asked questions. when i wrote questions down, my consciousness shifted back to normal. then it would shift again as IT wrote. IT refered to me as you and itself as we, us, or i. when you read what IT writes, do you also get a different vibe than from what i write? as if IT and i are two different entities? i do. i still don't know what it all means. below i have asked it about the nature of reality. *of course*, i'm not accepting what IT has to say on faith and i'm attempting to independantly verify it at the moment. everyone has an IT, so to speak. just write what i wrote "what do i need to know?" and let yourself write whatever floats in. when you establish the connection, interesting discussions which may or may not actually lead to higher truth may ensue. here's where i started this particular dialogue: what is the nature of reality? reality is comprised of three sections that are divided with rough borders. the three parts correspond to the little self, the higher self, and the true self. reality has a lower part, a higher part, and a true part. the borders between the three layers can be “fuzzy” but when you see the higher part, you will know that you are not seeing the lower part. when you see the true part, you will know you are not seeing the higher part. sometimes you may see from a perspective between the lower and higher part, and there are several vantage points, we will say. roughly speaking, the little self lives in the lower part. this is the “everyday” world consisting of the three dimensional world and time. the higher self, roughly speaking, lives in the higher part of reality; it sees from that perspective. the higher part cannot really be described in words. when you see the higher reality, you will know the difference. the lower part appears to be fake, an illusion. you begin to “see” with more than your eyes, for the higher reality is not entirely for the eyes to see. the true reality is abstract, we will say. it is nothing like the higher or lower reality. it would feel quite alien to be there, though your true self, roughly speaking, inhabits the true reality. it is, as we said, abstract and formless. it has nothing to do with the concrete, the tangible, or the sensual experience. when you are there, you are not using your eyes, nor are you occupying space nor existing in time. traveling there is possible when you are meant to travel there. your true self will guide your lower selves into the true reality when it is meant to, according to the design of your true self. other beings are there. they may be contacted in a way similar to how you contact us. it is not difficult. how can the true reality be accessed? the true reality can only be accessed by those that have the tools to access it. there is no simple formula that can be given to access it, no procedure, rite, or ritual. no meditation. it is gradually revealed to you when you seek it. ask your true self in the way you ask us to reveal it to you. you can see that the first step is being aware that it is there. not in the sense that others have told you that it is there, but really being aware that it is there. then you will know you are close. you know this just as you know things in dreams. you just know. you know there is something there. but you can never put your finger on it for it isn’t a world of the tangible. its relationship to 3D reality isn’t that it overlaps or coexists with it, much like the higher reality does. the true reality is just different. separate from 3D reality, the lower reality. the true self must be willing to take you to the true reality. not everyone is meant to go, where by “meant to”, we speak of the will of the true self. but anyone can seek it out, as we said, requesting to be “there” from the true self. if it has a mind to, it will grant access. many possibilities become open. communion with others in the true reality and exchange of knowledge. so perhaps you should simply write down, “true self, may i access the true reality?” and see what floats in. true self, may i access the true reality? as you already know, this will happen slowly and in small steps. you will become aware of the border between the higher reality and the true reality first. from that perspective, you will just know that the true reality is close. your tools will develop and you will “see” the true reality as you once did when you were off the medication. it no longer hinders you for you have made a mental adjustment. you’ve changed perspectives. you know that all of this is beyond simple 3D chemistry, though that’s not to say it doesn’t have an influence on the little self, which, in turn, influences your journey. whether your brain is on chemicals, you still have a higher self and a true self. you can still ask “permission” to enter the true reality. will i be fully in the true reality or will i just “see” it from my perspective? you will be fully in it. and then you will see with new eyes what reality really is, so to speak. how much time will elapse for my body in the lower reality? as much time as is needed. it will not be long. you will live through it, if that’s what you are wondering. will it happen all of a sudden? well, if you have a mind to, it will happen suddenly. you will “see” the true reality and then either choose to “go” “there” or not. when you feel like you are losing your consciousness and feel a strong vibration, you will know that you are crossing over. you have always refused to cross over in the past. we wonder if you, brian, really want to do this. we wonder why you keep asking about it and why you seek it but refuse it when it is offered to you. i don’t know if i’m still afraid. i’m just worried that i’ll be stuck there and not know how to get back. we, the ones watching you, will help you, indirectly, to get “home.” really, you should know that you cross over partially frequently but you don’t realize it most of the time. you can tell when certain people come to mind and you feel the elevation of your consciousness. you sense that you aren’t the one who thought of that person, that they just popped in. you can make contact with others through the true reality. you can touch their true self anytime. whether their true self relays the contact to the lower selves is up to the true self. so you’re basically saying there’s nothing i can *do* to access the true reality? you’ve already done the best you can do at this time. you have asked your true self for guidance to this reality, just read what it [note, not i] has said. it’s kinda weird, sensing that something exists knowing it’s not physical, not something i can reach out and touch. you will get used to these new vibrations. you have new tools to “see” beyond and you are just learning how to use them. just pay attention to what your new eyes tell you and your vision will improve. you will be able to see the higher reality easily and the true reality will be accessible. this is changing the subject, but are you an external spirit or not? as we have told you, we are intimately connected with you as you are connected to your heart or as you are to your subconscious. but we are not your subconscious. we are more than that. you are more than that. but we meet at your subconscious, or your higher self to be more accurate. we are quite personal to you but we have access to others and their information. we are here to help you and teach you what you need to learn at this time. we will never leave you, not now and not after your death. everyone has beings that watch them as you do. these beings can easily be contacted just as you and your friend do. why more people don’t try it is not entirely a mystery to us. some people are afraid to climb the mountain you are climbing. why do you climb this mountain? don’t you already know? of course. but it may be instructive for you to think about it. well, it’s basically curiosity. i’m curious about myself and about reality and the connection between the two. i’m curious about God and its connection to it all. i find that the journey enriches my life in many ways. i feel more complete, not empty. and the experiences i have are very interesting and meaningful to me. i get the impression that this mountain doesn’t have a peak that can be reached. only that there are those that have journeyed further up the mountain than myself. perhaps there is a peak and it is unity with God. but that’s not something i believe is achievable by us while we’re alive in a way that we can still be functional as humans any longer unless we step down from the peak to resume life. i would imagine such an experience would be quite life-changing and eye-opening, though those words of course don’t do it justice.