Paying on a First Date: Should Men Pay?

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The discussion centers on whether a man should pay on a first date, highlighting that there is no definitive answer due to various factors like cultural background and personal preference. Offering to pay is generally seen as a good gesture, but if a woman insists on paying for herself, the man should respect that and not insist on covering the bill. Conversely, if a woman expects the man to pay without an offer, it raises questions about her relationship intentions. The conversation suggests that the decision to pay should ultimately depend on individual circumstances and feelings, rather than adhering to a strict rule. The idea that the inviter should pay is mentioned, but it's acknowledged that this is not a universally accepted guideline.
dirk_mec1
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Should a man pay on a first date or not? A discussion here on PF a few years ago did not really provide a clear answer. What do you guys think, pay or not to pay?
 
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dirk_mec1 said:
did not really provide a clear answer.
I do not think you can get a clear answer, it is dependent on a mountain of different variables from cultural background to personal preference. It is undoubtedly a good gesture to offer to pay, but the situation may not require that. If the woman insists on paying for herself, it is probably a bad idea to keep insisting on paying. If the woman insists on the man paying without the offer being made, the man should consider if that is really relationship material.
 
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Orodruin said:
I do not think you can get a clear answer, it is dependent on a mountain of different variables from cultural background to personal preference. It is undoubtedly a good gesture to offer to pay, but the situation may not require that.

So the general advice is to always pay if you are not sure? How about the fact that most first dates will not lead to a relationshiip? You'll keep on paying in that case right?

If the woman insists on paying for herself, it is probably a bad idea to keep insisting on paying. If the woman insists on the man paying without the offer being made, the man should consider if that is really relationship material.
Yes, I agree, although the last situation will happen unspoken.
 
dirk_mec1 said:
So the general advice is to always pay if you are not sure? How about the fact that most first dates will not lead to a relationshiip? You'll keep on paying in that case right?

I think this is something that must be left up to you and what you feel like doing. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to dating. As I said, offering to pay is a nice gesture. I do not think you can get more specific than that on a general basis.
 
The one who invited the other should pay.
 
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HallsofIvy said:
The one who invited the other should pay.
Is this an unwritten rule?
 
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No, I just wrote it!
 
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