Programming Jokes: Lame, Science & Math Jokes!

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

*Everything works*: Why do we even pay you IT guys?

*One thing is broken*: Why do we even pay you IT guys?

 

[jack action]

Anadromous fish are more vulnerable in rivers, since the lack of salt means you can quickly crack passwords using rainbow trout tables.​

 

[berkeman]

View attachment 348238
Anadromous fish are more vulnerable in rivers, since the lack of salt means you can quickly crack passwords using rainbow trout tables.​

We are going to need @BillTre to decode this joke, I'm afraid...

 

[berkeman]

 

[Ibix]

We are going to need @BillTre to decode this joke, I'm afraid...

Anadromous fish travel up river to mate - salmon are a famous example. Some rainbow trout are anadromous.

Rainbow tables are a password cracking tool. Salting passwords is a defence against the technique.

 

[berkeman]

Anadromous fish travel up river to mate - salmon are a famous example. Some rainbow trout are anadromous.

Rainbow tables are a password cracking tool.

Well okay, it is all obvious to me now. Er, thanks...

 

[collinsmark]

Genie: Master, I shall grant you 3 wishes, as per the custom. You now have 3 wishes.
Me: I wish for 0 wishes left.
Genie: Granted. You now have 255 wishes.

 

[KingGambit]

Vic 20 had Basic.
IBM came out with a Basic interpreter as part of its software package along with DOS if you bought an IBM PC.
Apple came out with Basic.

A lot of home learners acquired Basic as the language of choice by default.

Yeah, that was.. almost 40 years ago. ROM BASIC, and I think I still remember the Alt plus key.
Alt+A, ABS
Alt+B, ?
Alt+C, COLOR
Alt+D,
Alt+E,
Alt+F, FOR
Alt+G, GOTO
Alt+H, HEX$
Alt+I, INPUT
Alt+J,
Alt+K, KEY
Alt+L, LOCATE
Alt+M,
Alt+N, NEXT
Alt+O, OPEN ?(question here)
Alt+P, PRINT
Alt+Q, is there one?
Alt+R, READ
Alt+S, SCREEN or SAVE?
Alt+T, THEN
Alt+U, USING
Alt+V, VAL
Alt+W, WHILE
Alt+X, is there one?
Alt+Y, is there one?
Alt+Z, is there one?

 

[KingGambit]

I recall someone asking for confirmation that one is true and zero is false in C, to which some genius replied "1".

Actually,
in C
A = 5 > 4, then A becomes 1

if (11 /* any non zero*/) printf("TRUE"); else printf("FALSE"); it will print TRUE


in BASIC
A = 5 > 4, then A becomes -1
if 11 then print "TRUE" else printf "FALSE" REM any non zero

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[Tom.G]

Welll... Just don't leave alone!

 

[jack action]

 

[Hornbein]

In 1998, a COBOL programmer, frazzled with the Y2K crunch decides to have himself frozen until the year 2500. He goes in for the procedure and it's successful. As he begins to wake up, he sees all these people standing around him looking at their devices and dressed oddly, and he says "Wow, is it 2500?" The lead scientist says, "I'm sorry, no it's not 2500. It's actually 2098 but it says here on your file that you know COBOL ..."

 

[pbuk]

Not sure if this has already been posted but it is relevant to something I am working on at the moment

 

[jack action]

 

[nuuskur]

even I can (write and) exit vim and I'm not even a dev

 

[jack action]

We have to adapt to a new era:

 

[gmax137]

View attachment 348239

Finally, a post in this thread that I "get"!

 

[jack action]

 

[berkeman]

I don't think Centrum is helping her mental accuity or her chess game very much... (or her opponent's chess game).

 

[DaveC426913]

even I can (write and) exit vim and I'm not even a dev

I'm a dev and I cannot exit vim.

 

[sbrothy]

I'm a dev and I cannot exit vim.

I'm a dev and I can save a document in emacs and exit. That's the limit of my emacs ability.

EDIT: ... and the -nw switch makes sure I stay in the CLI. But that's it.

 

[Beyond3D]

This is kind-of true. Faced it myself...

View attachment 316744

Not the Wojaks lol. 4chan flashbacks lmfao.

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[DaveC426913]

Today's Facebook mashup:

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 365346

Ugh, $ict$ convention. This is better:

 

[DaveC426913]

Another cool Facebook feed mashup:

(Okay, it's not meant to be a Venn diagram, but technically it still is one)

 

[collinsmark]

(Source: https://explosm.net/comics/how-pretty#comic)

 

[symbolipoint]

I have thought of that way of understanding authentication as shown in #428. That is an example of a kind of real authentication.