Questioning Santa: Kids' Excitement Explained

[Blahness]

Why do kids get so excited about some fat old guy emptying his sack in their stockings?

Confusing holidays, glad I switched to "www.venganza.org"[/URL]

Come join us. >_>

 

[hypatia]

Your not going to get anything form Santa...unless you change your tune!

 

[Math Is Hard]

Why do kids get so excited about some fat old guy emptying his sack in their stockings?
Confusing holidays, glad I switched to "www.venganza.org"[/URL]
Come join us. >_>[/QUOTE]
So I can get spaghetti and meatballs in my stocking?? Hell, no!

 

[tribdog]

So I can get spaghetti and meatballs in my stocking?? Hell, no!

Why not,his already smell like Parmesean.

 

[BobG]

Why do kids get so excited about some fat old guy emptying his sack in their stockings?
Confusing holidays, glad I switched to "www.venganza.org"[/URL]
Come join us. >_>[/QUOTE]
Well, now we all know what your Christmas list looks like:

[quote]I broke my bat on Johnny's head;
Somebody snitched on me.
I hid a frog in sister's bed;
Somebody snitched on me.
I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug;
I made Tommy eat a bug;
Bought some gum with a penny slug;
Somebody snitched on me.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad.
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.
[/quote]

 

[russ_watters]

I don't get Santa.

Try a bear trap with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk in the middle...

 

[scott1]

I think kids like some old fat guy delivering persents then some weird flying spaghetti monster giving them spaghetti and meatballs.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Come join us. >_>

After seeing this, I can't resist:

 

[Smurf]

Santa was invented by Coca Cola anyways.

 

[Mk]

Sinterklaus was actually a bearded women in a Nederlands carnival freakshow. Coca Cola company saw her, shaved her, dressed her up, and said drinkers would get little surprises, and Pepsi drinkers wouldn't. However she had five o'clock shadow...

 

[SpaceTiger]

Interesting historical falsoid:

Santa was originally invented to scare kids into being good while they were cooped up in the house during the winter months. Santa's obesity was actually his weapon, since parents would tell their kids, "You better be good or else Santa's going to come and sit on you." Desperate to fix his child's behavioral problems, one overzealous parent actually donned a santa costume and acted this out on his son. Unfortunately, the parent was quite ill at the time, suffering from frequent diarrhea, and the routine didn't go exactly as planned. One of their neighbors, who happened upon the pair mid-straddle, exclaimed to the boy, "Uh oh, it looks like Santa left you a present!" The rest is, as they say, history.

 

[revelator]

Why do kids get so excited about some fat old guy emptying his sack in their stockings?

I must say, that gave me quite a disturbing mental image...

 

[matthyaouw]

Santa was invented by Coca Cola anyways.

Woo, unsubstanciated urban myth!

 

[Moonbear]

Interesting historical falsoid:
Santa was originally invented to scare kids into being good while they were cooped up in the house during the winter months. Santa's obesity was actually his weapon, since parents would tell their kids, "You better be good or else Santa's going to come and sit on you." Desperate to fix his child's behavioral problems, one overzealous parent actually donned a santa costume and acted this out on his son. Unfortunately, the parent was quite ill at the time, suffering from frequent diarrhea, and the routine didn't go exactly as planned. One of their neighbors, who happened upon the pair mid-straddle, exclaimed to the boy, "Uh oh, it looks like Santa left you a present!" The rest is, as they say, history.

I see you're starting the campaign early for next year's funniest member award! That's just...just...so disturbing.

 

[SpaceTiger]

That's just...just...so disturbing.

Yeah, at 3 AM, my mind starts to go. By 4 AM, I've usually concocted a plan to market a cancer-causing food product solely on its carcinogenic properties. Come 5 AM, if I'm not already asleep, the neighbors usually have to get out their cardboard mock-up of Frodo Baggins to lure me into a holding pen down the street.

Last night was a Frodo night.

 

[Danger]

I think that there should be a webcam in that pen. We could sell you to the comedy channel. (Or Ripley's...)

 

[SpaceTiger]

I think that there should be a webcam in that pen. We could sell you to the comedy channel. (Or Ripley's...)

Or the playboy ch...er, yeah, what you said.

 

[scott1]

Someone should start a reilgon where it belvies that the unvirse was created when god sneezed and got snot all over his face and then the unvirse will be destroyed when, god realizes that it's weird to have people that live on your face,he go get's a tissue and they believe that the executives who manunfacture tissue and toilet paper or evil.

 

[honestrosewater]

I think that there should be a webcam in that pen. We could sell you to the comedy channel. (Or Ripley's...)

Or the playboy ch...er, yeah, what you said.

Well, you guys had better decide soon. I already have 68 subscribers on the waiting list, and they're getting restless...

 

[Danger]

68, huh? And just how do you explain that they all have the same address? Something about a willow...

 

[honestrosewater]

68, huh? And just how do you explain that they all have the same address? Something about a willow...

That's merely a technicality... it's for tax purposes. Now how about making yourself useful and hopping in the cage until SpaceTiger returns? Oh, and I promised them skin, if you don't mind.

 

[Danger]

Have you never looked at my picture? I don't have any skin!

 

[SpaceTiger]

Have you never looked at my picture? I don't have any skin!

I'm not sure Playboy Channel would carry this.

Looks like it's the Discovery Channel for us.

 

[Moonbear]

68, huh? And just how do you explain that they all have the same address? Something about a willow...

Well, she's waiting for one more.

Ooh, SpaceTiger, your avatar changed! Though, when are you going to grow the beard back? You look like you're 14 without it! (Or maybe I'm just getting old. ...Nah, that can't be it.)

 

[Evo]

Well, she's waiting for one more.
Ooh, SpaceTiger, your avatar changed! Though, when are you going to grow the beard back? You look like you're 14 without it! (Or maybe I'm just getting old. ...Nah, that can't be it.)

NOOOO NO BEARD! We already had a thread about how yucky beards are!

ST, you're hot, keep the beard off!

 

[SpaceTiger]

Ooh, SpaceTiger, your avatar changed! Though, when are you going to grow the beard back? You look like you're 14 without it!

No chocolate for you.

ST, you're hot, keep the beard off!

Do you like it white, dark, or milky?

...yes, I mean chocolate.

 

[Evo]

Do you like it white, dark, or milky?

...yes, I mean chocolate.

Ooooh, DARK! With nuts!

 

[Math Is Hard]

Ooooh, DARK! With nuts!

*stuffs Dennis Rodman into Evo's computer*

oops. I may have misunderstood the request.

 

[Moonbear]

NOOOO NO BEARD! We already had a thread about how yucky beards are!

I like the type of beard ST had. Plus, those types of beards are just tickly enough enough to have certain, um, benefits. It would really help when I give him his biology lessons. :!)

 

[honestrosewater]

@ MIH. Don't feel bad; that was my first interpretation too. Well, the first one I'll admit to at least.

Well, she's waiting for one more.

Congrats, you've now moved to the top of the bawdy list.

Hey, ladies, it looks like the men are outnumbered. On second thought, maybe I should leave before I get myself into trouble.