Is True Love Worth Waiting For?

[Nev]

We all fall in love around the time of puberty and we can all recall the name of the loved one the rest of our lives. The beauty and joy of such love would last for a lifetime if given the chance, but sadly our self-seeking culture denies the value of pubic love, insisting that it is better to wait until we are older and wiser(?) before we search for a partner in life.

When later as adults we choose for ourselves, I submit that our choice, more often than not, is made on the basis of desire rather than love, which accounts for the huge failure rate in relationships at the present time.

I would suggest if we wish to see happy, lasting relationships in our society, we need to make a quantum leap and do all that we can to encourage true love in our young, as nature surely intends.

I would welcome your comments on the above.

 

[so-crates]

I dunno, most of the people who find "true love" at that early age seem not to amount to much. Maybe its because of the social pressure to not get married so the relationship is in limbo, but then if they do get married a lot of times one partner is going to have to compromise for the other if they want to have a successful career.

 

[franznietzsche]

We all fall in love around the time of puberty and we can all recall the name of the loved one the rest of our lives. The beauty and joy of such love would last for a lifetime if given the chance, but sadly our self-seeking culture denies the value of pubic love, insisting that it is better to wait until we are older and wiser(?) before we search for a partner in life.

When later as adults we choose for ourselves, I submit that our choice, more often than not, is made on the basis of desire rather than love, which accounts for the huge failure rate in relationships at the present time.

I would suggest if we wish to see happy, lasting relationships in our society, we need to make a quantum leap and do all that we can to encourage true love in our young, as nature surely intends.

I would welcome your comments on the above.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you're under twenty and only have one side of the picture.

I'm not going to argue about the failure of relationships based on desire, but the fact is, all 'young' relationships are based on desire. Contrary to whatever your hormones tell you, there is no love at first sight. Frankly i would go so far as to say that there is no love. All this discussion of what is love, when is it love, is there love at first sight is a waste of time--there is no love.

There is infatuation, there is attraction, there is desire, and there is the verb 'to love.' BUt that is not the same as the noun 'love' which i argue, at least as many people see it, does not exist. Love is no premanent, it is not unique. It is transient, and fleeting. It is a verb, not a noun, it does not last, even with the same person. It is a moment of joy, but nothing more.

The myth of 'true love' is not real. It's as much a fairy tale as Cinderella.

 

[selfAdjoint]

There is infatuation, there is attraction, there is desire, and there is the verb 'to love.' BUt that is not the same as the noun 'love' which i argue, at least as many people see it, does not exist. Love is no premanent, it is not unique. It is transient, and fleeting. It is a verb, not a noun, it does not last, even with the same person. It is a moment of joy, but nothing more.

The myth of 'true love' is not real. It's as much a fairy tale as Cinderella.

This is only true if you define your terms to make it true. So if someone cites a valid case of what they call true love you can sneer and say "That was only infatuation" or "That was only desire". Since none of these terms are well-defined, you can play that game all day, but it's meaningless.

 

[Nev]

I was saddened by your letter, franznietzsche, but I know that true love sometimes "ends before it's begun." In my case I fell in love at the age of 56 and am still 'in love' at the age of 65, nine years on. I appreciate there are such things as attraction and infatuation, but I submit there is no doubt in our minds when we are truly 'in love', and that 'true love', once formed, goes on and on and asks nothing for itself.

 

[Kerrie]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you're under twenty and only have one side of the picture.

Looks like you will be needing to pull a big foot out of your mouth...

I think true love can happen at any age really depending on the individual. Agreed that our culture tends to steer us towards relationships that are more "practical". Also, I am one that doesn't believe in the whole soulmate thing...compatibility and true love happen at the common will of two individuals who also have the same idea of love.

 

[franznietzsche]

Looks like you will be needing to pull a big foot out of your mouth...

I think true love can happen at any age really depending on the individual. Agreed that our culture tends to steer us towards relationships that are more "practical". Also, I am one that doesn't believe in the whole soulmate thing...compatibility and true love happen at the common will of two individuals who also have the same idea of love.

*pullss size twelve foot from a much smaller mouth*

Fair enough.

I maintain that love as a noun does not exist, only as a verb.

However as kerrie pointed out, much of it is a question of definition and semantics, making debate not so much pointless as much as utterly unproductive.