I guess I'm a bit late to the party, but I'd like to add how I like to approach these concepts. I like to define "closed" first.
A subset S of a metric space X is said to be closed if the limit of every convergent sequence in S is an element of S.
I like this definition because the choice of the word "closed" is very natural if you're familiar with how it's used elsewhere in mathematics. For example a subset V of a vector space is said to be "closed under addition" if the sum of any two elements of V is in V. If you're familiar with that, and you're asked to guess what "closed under limits of sequences" means, wouldn't you guess exactly what's stated in the definition above? Then you should find the definition of "closed" very easy to remember, because a "closed set" is just a set that's closed under limits of sequences.
Now you can define the term "interior point" (I assume that you're already familiar with that definition) and prove the following theorem:
Let X be a metric space. Let S be a subset of X. The following statements are equivalent:
(a) X-S is closed.
(b) Every point of S is an interior point of S.
Then we state the definition of "open" as follows.
A subset S of a metric space X is said to be open if it satisfies the equivalent conditions of the theorem above.
This approach explains why we use the term "open". Open sets are in a way the "opposites" of closed sets.
If we want to, we can include more conditions in the theorem, e.g.
(c) S is a union of open balls.
The only reason I didn't is that I didn't want to use the word "open" until I had explained why it's natural to use it.
One of the most interesting things about open sets is that the definition of the "limit" of a sequence can be stated without explicit reference to the metric, by referring to open sets instead:
Let X be a metric space. Let S be a sequence in X. A point x in X is said to be a limit of S if every open set that contains x contains all but a finite number of terms of S.
This suggests that if we may not need a metric at all to define limits of sequences. Maybe we can just choose a collection of subsets of some set X and just
call those sets "open" subsets of X? That's the main idea behind the definition of "topological space".
However, we don't want to allow any collection of subsets to be labled as "open sets". We want the collection of sets that we call "open" to have some properties in common with the collection of open sets in an arbitrary metric space, because this will ensure that many theorems about metric spaces also hold for topological spaces. The properties that have been found to be the most useful are ones listed in the following theorem:
Let X be a metric space.
(a) ø and X are open.
(b) Every union of open sets is open.
(c) Every finite intersection of open sets is open.
(A finite intersection is an intersection of finitely many sets).
We are now ready to state the definition of "topological space":
Let X be a non-empty set. Let T be a set whose elements are subsets of X. The pair (X,T) is said to be a
topological space if
(a) ø and X are elements of T.
(b) Every union of elements of T is an element of T.
(c) Every finite intersection of elements of T is an element of T.
If (X,T) is a topological space, then T is said to be a
topology on X.
Now we can define the terms "open" and "closed" in the context of topological spaces:
Let (X,T) be a topological space. Let E be a subset of X. E is said to be "open" if E is an element of T. E is said to be "closed" if X-E is an element of T.