Unusual Questions: Do You Get Those 'What If' Questions?

[Danger]

Since a few somewhat strange things cross my mind occassionaly (are you surprised?), I figured to see if I'm alone in that. So, do any of you get that 'what if?' question that isn't easily answered?
To start off, what prompted this thread was a sudden curiosity (under circumstances that I don't care to divulge) as to whether a hermaphrodite leaves the seat up or down.

 

[berkeman]

Down. Don't ask me how I know that.

Q2: Why is there a safety seal on plastic Catsup bottles, but not on glass Catsup bottles?

 

[Danger]

Down. Don't ask me how I know that.

 

[turbo]

Down. Don't ask me how I know that.

Q2: Why is there a safety seal on plastic Catsup bottles, but not on glass Catsup bottles?

Interesting question, since anybody with access to a syringe could adulterate the catsup in a plastic bottle but not a glass bottle. At least not without popping the tell-tale in the metal lid.

 

[berkeman]

Interesting question, since anybody with access to a syringe could adulterate the catsup in a plastic bottle but not a glass bottle. At least not without popping the tell-tale in the metal lid.

Oh, that's why. Plastic bottles aren't vacuum sealed, so have no tell-tale dimple in the lid. Thanks! Learn something new here on the PF every dang day.

 

[Danger]

At least not without popping the tell-tale in the metal lid.

That might be the rationale behind not needing a seal on them, but how many people actually know about that or even pay attention to the condition of the lid? I didn't know about it until now, but I don't buy ketchup and I don't even know if they use that kind of lids up here.
Jeez, but I miss the good old days when you could just unscrew the cap and throw in some potassium cyanide.

 

[lisab]

I've always wondered if a hermaphrodite can impregnate his/herself.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I'm sure all the married men will agree with me that the quintessential unanswerable question is "Where is the butter?" My wife has put five or six loaded butter dishes on each shelf of our fridge in an effort to help me figure this one out. It didn't work. There's a place on the inside of the door for butter. It should be there.

 

[berkeman]

I've always wondered if a hermaphrodite can impregnate his/herself.

Artificially, but not naturally.

 

[NoTime]

I'm sure all the married men will agree with me that the quintessential unanswerable question is "Where is the butter?" My wife has put five or six loaded butter dishes on each shelf of our fridge in an effort to help me figure this one out. It didn't work. There's a place on the inside of the door for butter. It should be there.

And for the unmarried/divorced men "What was that?"

My question is why did they not define a "sheet" when they started unit pricing paper products.
And why haven't they fixed this?
I figure a sheet of TP will be down to the size of a postage stamp in 10 years.
Already it's down to 3.7 x 4 or so from the original 4.5 x 4.5.

 

[Danger]

Already it's down to 3.7 x 4 or so from the original 4.5 x 4.5.

And you can't help noticing that the core gets bigger every year, resulting in fewer wraps to get the same overall diameter.

 

[turbo]

And you can't help noticing that the core gets bigger every year, resulting in fewer wraps to get the same overall diameter.

Not only that, they advertise "even softer" when all they have done is to increase the angle on the creping blade to loft the sheet. This increases the bulk of the sheet so that you get fewer sheets/roll. The manufacturers can make more rolls of toilet tissue and more boxes of facial tissues using the same amount of raw materials. A prime example of this is Charmin - you have to buy a whole 4-pack of 250-sheet rolls to get as many sheets as you get in one traditional Scott tissue roll. I used to run a paper machine for Scott's S.D Warren division and later served as a technical/service consultant to other mills, often with tissue machines. There are a lot of tricks in the pulp and paper industry - especially in the consumer products divisions.

 

[chemisttree]

And why don't they have instructions on the back of the TP that show how it is supposed to be displayed?

 

[BobG]

And why don't they have instructions on the back of the TP that show how it is supposed to be displayed?

And why don't they have instructions on use? From an earlier thread in GD, it's obvious a lot of people don't know how to fold toilet paper and generally use way too much.

As far as the condition of the lid on a glass bottle or jar, how could people not know? A vacuum sealed bottle gives such a satisfying 'pop' feel when you open them.

 

[NoTime]

And why don't they have instructions on the back of the TP that show how it is supposed to be displayed?

I suspect that no matter how well matted and framed, you have a good chance of getting your house declared a hazardous waste site.

 

[BobG]

And why don't they have instructions on the back of the TP that show how it is supposed to be displayed?

I suspect that no matter how well matted and framed, you have a good chance of getting your house declared a hazardous waste site.

I disagree. http://www.annetaintor.com/air-fresheners.html - available in "Local Tavern Scent".

The "Lemon Gelatin" air freshener isn't bad either - at least it has attitude.

 

[Danger]

I suspect that no matter how well matted and framed, you have a good chance of getting your house declared a hazardous waste site.

From an earlier thread in GD, it's obvious a lot of people don't know how to fold toilet paper and generally use way too much.

As mentioned in that thread, I neither fold nor scrunch. A roll lasts me at least 2 weeks, whereas W burns through at least 3 rolls per week. Luckily, we have our own separate bathrooms, but she still occassionally snipes a roll from me.

 

[Moonbear]

Not only that, they advertise "even softer" when all they have done is to increase the angle on the creping blade to loft the sheet. This increases the bulk of the sheet so that you get fewer sheets/roll. The manufacturers can make more rolls of toilet tissue and more boxes of facial tissues using the same amount of raw materials. A prime example of this is Charmin - you have to buy a whole 4-pack of 250-sheet rolls to get as many sheets as you get in one traditional Scott tissue roll. I used to run a paper machine for Scott's S.D Warren division and later served as a technical/service consultant to other mills, often with tissue machines. There are a lot of tricks in the pulp and paper industry - especially in the consumer products divisions.

I usually compare the number of sheets when figuring out which one is the best price (yes, I do seem to spend a long time in the toilet paper aisle when shopping, because I'm trying to do all the math). The best one I noticed was just yesterday. I looked at several packages of 2-ply, and they'd say something like 314 2-ply sheets (I'm sure they pick those numbers just to slow down my math), and then I got to one that was still 2-ply, and on the package said 250 single-ply sheets. Okay, so each roll really only has 125 sheets on it...yep, that's why it was about half the price of the others. But, yeah, they sure had fluffed it up nicely to make those rolls look about the same size as the other brands.

The other one that was interesting was packets of salad dressing mix. Same brand, same size packets, but one was sold in a package of two with a free cruet, and the other was sold in a box of 4 packets. On the grocery store shelf, the two packet was listed as price per unit (a unit being a packet) and the four packet one listed as price per ounce! As each packet was less than an ounce, if you only glanced quickly at the unit price, you'd think the 2 packet one was the better price (it was if you needed a cruet, but not if you just needed the mix). Fortunately, I'm a lot faster at dividing $3 by 4 than I am at dividing $7.59 by 314, so didn't have to spend nearly as much time staring at salad dressing packets as I did the toilet paper to decide whether to buy one box of 4 or two boxes of 2.

Not unusual questions, but just things I notice. Of course, now I'm wondering where I'm supposed to be putting the butter other than in the little shelf with the door on it that's for the butter?

 

[Danger]

The butter thing sort of weirds me out. We use margarine in a tub, which is pretty hard to miss.

 

[NeoDevin]

Moonbear, you should just bring your calculator with you when shopping. Also, make sure and check that each roll of toilet paper has the same size sheets, perhaps price per unit area would be better than price per sheet?

 

[Moonbear]

Moonbear, you should just bring your calculator with you when shopping. Also, make sure and check that each roll of toilet paper has the same size sheets, perhaps price per unit area would be better than price per sheet?

The catch is that I have to finish all my calculations before I need to pee so I will have bought the toilet paper and gotten it home in time to use it. But, dangit, different sized sheets too. Buying toilet paper shouldn't require a degree in topography. *clandestinely slips calculator into purse*

 

[NoTime]

Moonbear, you should just bring your calculator with you when shopping. Also, make sure and check that each roll of toilet paper has the same size sheets, perhaps price per unit area would be better than price per sheet?

Lol. I've thought of that, but some of those sheets are so thin you can read thru them.

 

[Moonbear]

Lol. I've thought of that, but some of those sheets are so thin you can read thru them.

Dangit! Now I have to calculate price per unit volume or dry weight or some such and remember to either subtract out the air spaces or the cardboard core? This is just getting more and more difficult. Maybe I should just buy Depends instead.

 

[NoTime]

The butter thing sort of weirds me out. We use margarine in a tub, which is pretty hard to miss.

Didn't they find out that margarine was bad for your health?
In any event it tastes awful, at least to me.

 

[Nabeshin]

Didn't they find out that margarine was bad for your health?
In any event it tastes awful, at least to me.

Oh come on what isn't bad for your health according to some medical study done by someone somewhere?

 

[NoTime]

Dangit! Now I have to calculate price per unit volume or dry weight or some such and remember to either subtract out the air spaces or the cardboard core? This is just getting more and more difficult. Maybe I should just buy Depends instead.

Depends, you could bring a scale and weigh it.

 

[NoTime]

Oh come on what isn't bad for your health according to some medical study done by someone somewhere?

True. That's why I go by taste. If it's giong to kill me anyway, I might as well enjoy it.

 

[Danger]

If it's giong to kill me anyway, I might as well enjoy it.

Too right. Hence my propensity for gnawing my food off of the critter without regard to cooking.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Here is an old one: Why are manhole covers round?

 

[Janus]

Here is an old one: Why are manhole covers round?

So they can't fall into the manhole. Any other shape could be turned so that it could.P.S. There is another that couldn't fall into the hole, an equilateral triangle, but a circle is still more efficiently shaped hole.

 

[NeoDevin]

Sorry, but an equilateral triangle could fall into the hole. The only shape for which it cannot (assuming the size of the supporting lip is negligible) is a circle. The distance from one vertex to the center of the opposite side is shorter than the side length, therefore it can fit through.

 

[Janus]

Sorry, but an equilateral triangle could fall into the hole. The only shape for which it cannot (assuming the size of the supporting lip is negligible) is a circle. The distance from one vertex to the center of the opposite side is shorter than the side length, therefore it can fit through.

Oops, your right. Somehow when I was mentally picturing it I didn't consider that alignment. I should have just stuck with my first instinct and left it at circle.

 

[lisab]

Here is an old one: Why are manhole covers round?

Manhole covers are round...because manholes are round .

 

[Danger]

Manhole covers are round...because manholes are round .

I somehow suspect that anything Ivan-shaped probably can't fall through any hole that consists of less than 7 dimensions.

 

[Phrak]

I bet all you guys have been brainwashed into thinking that the default position for a toilet seat is down. Or am I among thinking people here? I would be nice to think so...

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Not me.

When I worked at a department store and they made me clean the ladies room I always left all the toilet seats up.

 

[Danger]

I always, as a matter of course, leave both the seat and the lid down... even when I was single. Not only does it look better that way, but it's equal ground. No matter how drunk I get, I always know to open the damned thing. Perfectly sober women can't grasp the concept. If you leave the seat up, they fall in; if you put the lid down, they piss on it. It's got to be a Mars/Venus thing.

 

[Phrak]

OK. I'll give you all a hint. What's the argument given for leaving the seat down? (think emotional argument) It really is a venus/mars thing. Totally.

 

[Danger]

Any woman who has discussed the subject with me has said that if they have to go in the middle of the night, they fall in.
How stupid can you be to not either turn on the light or feel to discover the current configuration of the seat/lid assembly? Our niece is blind, so she doesn't care.

 

[Phrak]

My bad. You guys are not going to get this, after all you are only men. I'll expose the female psycho, and hope for the best. To be fair, I only figured it out when my X showed up, and asked to use the toilet. So I told her to put the seat up when she was finished out of shear spite.

It's all about power. It goes like this:_

I want the seat down. That's how I use it. (tell him he uses it down too, so it should be down.) "We all use it down. Last time you left it up I fell in." (appear to his sense of masculine protection. accuse him of being insensitive to your needs.) "Do you even care?" (Make the 'you-don't-love-me' face.) As an added bonus I get to accuse him of screwing up if I sit in piss. "See what you did?" or for extra impact, "See what you did to me?

 

[Danger]

What's really sad about that otherwise hilarious explanation is that some idiots actually go through it. The human race is doomed.

 

[Phrak]

What's really sad about that otherwise hilarious explanation is that some idiots actually go through it. The human race is doomed.

This idiot was taken for a fool for some time on this. But it really is true to one degree or another. Even sit-coms helped to estabish this fraud. I watched it happen. So most guys don't have to endure the attack because it's become established culture.

I think I'll open a clinic for the culturally brainwashed. That should get me a client base of about 100% give or take a few canotonics.

 

[Danger]

This idiot was taken for a fool for some time on this.

Sorry, man... I didn't realize that you were speaking from personal experience. No offense intended. Since you're here on PF, you're obviously not an idiot (hey, wait a minute... I'm here as well, so I guess that doesn't count for much).
W might have had the intention of taming me when she stalked me into submission, but after the first year or so of living with me, she realized that it ain't going to happen. Now she just keeps hiding my tools so I have to buy new ones every couple of weeks. Really, the Dremels and X-Acto knives were irritating enough, but now I can't find my wire-feed welder.

 

[BobG]

Sorry, but an equilateral triangle could fall into the hole. The only shape for which it cannot (assuming the size of the supporting lip is negligible) is a circle. The distance from one vertex to the center of the opposite side is shorter than the side length, therefore it can fit through.

Oops, your right. Somehow when I was mentally picturing it I didn't consider that alignment. I should have just stuck with my first instinct and left it at circle.

A Reuleaux triangle also works (and might be what you were thinking of?).

A drill bit in the shape of a Reuleaux triangle can drill a square hole.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

A Reuleaux triangle also works (and might be what you were thinking of?).

A drill bit in the shape of a Reuleaux triangle can drill a square hole.

The animation in the link you provide shows that the hole is almost, but not quite a square. Also, it requires a trick that is not explicitly shown, the center shaft of the drill bit has to rotate in a circle. Here is an animation that shows it. http://video.aol.com/video-detail/drill-square-hole/2669150781"

 

[lisab]

I bet all you guys have been brainwashed into thinking that the default position for a toilet seat is down. Or am I among thinking people here? I would be nice to think so...

As a woman who grew up with 7 brothers, let me tell you the only thing that matters: I don't care how you leave it, just put the seat up when you use it. One of my brothers would never bother to lift the seat, and he'd leave a wet seat for me to deal with. YUCK!

 

[BobG]

The animation in the link you provide shows that the hole is almost, but not quite a square. Also, it requires a trick that is not explicitly shown, the center shaft of the drill bit has to rotate in a circle. Here is an animation that shows it. http://video.aol.com/video-detail/drill-square-hole/2669150781"

The rounded edges are simply a safety feature to avoid banging your head on sharp corners.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

The rounded edges are simply a safety feature to avoid banging your head on sharp corners.

Now you tell me.

 

[turbo]

Manhole covers are round...because manholes are round .

Two reasons: The primary one has been covered, but there is another. Manhole covers are VERY heavy, but once you have pried one up and tipped it on its edge it is pretty easy to roll on decent pavement.

 

[Moonbear]

I always, as a matter of course, leave both the seat and the lid down... even when I was single. Not only does it look better that way, but it's equal ground. No matter how drunk I get, I always know to open the damned thing. Perfectly sober women can't grasp the concept. If you leave the seat up, they fall in; if you put the lid down, they piss on it. It's got to be a Mars/Venus thing.

That's the approach I go with. The lid is there so it can be closed. There wouldn't be any lid if it was never supposed to be closed. And, it's fair. Everyone has to lift something to use it, it's just a matter of whether you grab one layer or two. The only exception in my house is the toilet the cat uses as a water bowl. She wins, lid up. She does prefer the seat down though, so she has a wider ledge to stand on while getting her drink, but I don't care which position guests leave it in since it's always open anyway (at least she stopped playing in the water...then I'd even leave the seat up so I didn't have a wet seat waiting for me ).

SA is right that in public bathrooms, the toilet seats are always left up after cleaning (I do the same in my house)...it let's the water drip off them quicker after cleaning so they are dry sooner. And, in the case of the public restrooms, the women know they've been cleaned when they see them up.