If you will, time itself slows down relative to observers far away from a black hole. This means that any chemical process or whatever creates "the physical feeling of time" also slows down relative to observers far away from the black hole. YOU yourself, hypothetically standing next to a black hole, wouldn't feel any difference in the "flow of time". If you, however, stay there for some time and then return back to observers far away from the black hole, they will be noticably aged compared to you. If for them it was 20 years and for you 1 years, you felt 1 year pass and they felt 20 years pass.
You can't say any of these two is the "actual" time that passed. Said differently, staying near to a massive object like a black hole amounts to a form of "time travel" into the future of observers far away from the hole (note that this amounts to time travel for us because usually, all humans experience about the same time due to low velocity and low gravity). However, you still can't zoom out to some metaphysical level and arbitrarily define it as "The Time".
If you want to understand this and resolve the apparent paradox, you have to get away from the (intuitive) idea that our usual reference frame on the Earth is the frame against which all others are benchmarked.