Has it ever happened to you that you want something so badly but as much as you try you can't get it? I sometimes get annoyed by myself when I see that I almost never lose my interest in some paricular things, goals, and therefore I never give up...It sounds like you are just making a mistake over and over again and you don't learn any lesson form your mistakes. I mean when you can't get what you want after several attempts, maybe there's a problem with your goal. Maybe your interest in that partcular thing has no realistic and logical base and it doesn't really suit your talents, capablities and your true interests, so although you think you have done your best but the fact is that you've not tried as much as needed. You know sometimes I think I have no real interest in science and engineering. I've been interested in intelligent people whole my life and though of them as the coolest people in the world. And heaven knows that most of intelligent person are into mathematics and physics! And perhaps that's why I decided to study math and physics related subject. And perhaps that's why I'm not so successful academicly. I sometimes think that I could have been a very successful and useful person if I had chosen to study social sciences and stuff like that. I sometimes even think that my friend couldn't be the right person for me. Perhaps I'm just continue my relationship with him because he seems to be an intelligent person.