When should parents stop giving allowances to their children?

[kant]

Well, i had a roommate that gets allowance( 70dollars/week) from his( he is 24 years old) parents. i do not know if it would be acceptable to ask him questions regarding his allowance. Do any of you get "allownces" from your parents? what amount, and how frequent do they give it to you. When should parents stop give allowance to their child anyway? How old is old enough to stop receiving allowances?

 

[brewnog]

No I don't. You could ask him questions about it, but don't be surprised if he gets ratty with you for being nosey. It's up to the parents, if they have the means to help him out then fair play.

 

[Evo]

Why would it matter to you?

 

[RAD4921]

I am 43 years old and both of my parents are deceased and I miss them dearly.
When I was younger my parents never bought me a car. I stopped reveiving an allowance when I got my first paper route. In my opinion, a 24 year old should not be receiving money from his/her parents unless he/she is in college. Even if this is the case, he or she should get a part time job to help relieve some of the burden he/she is putting on his parents.
If he or she is paying the bills on time then you shouldn't butt into his or her financial business

 

[Stevedye56]

I am 43 years old and both of my parents are deceased and I miss them dearly.
When I was younger my parents never bought me a car. I stopped reveiving an allowance when I got my first paper route. In my opinion, a 24 year old should not be receiving money from his/her parents unless he/she is in college. Even if this is the case, he or she should get a part time job to help relieve some of the burden he/she is putting on his parents.
If he or she is paying the bills on time then you shouldn't butt into his or her financial business

The only way I could see my parents paying is if I was in serious financial trouble. Which I think is ok. I am not so sure about an allowance in college. I stopped receiving one when i was 12 or 13 which wasnt too long ago, then I got a job so i could pay for what I have to. But look at it this way. Now you know how to work and get money when you need it. Whats going to happen when your roomates parents won't be there for a job interview or something, I am betting hed have a harder time because he didnt learn as early. Just my thoughts.

-Steve

 

[kant]

Why would it matter to you?

Why do you find the need to know?

 

[Evo]

Why do you find the need to know?

Because of your question

i do not know if it would be acceptable to ask him questions regarding his allowance.

It would depend on why you want to know.

 

[Astronuc]

Why do you find the need to know?

Evo is trying to indicate that the allowance is a personal matter between your roommate and his parents. We don't know how close you are to your roommate. So why would you concerned about his allowance? An allowance from your parents is between you and your parents.

Some parents do choose to subsidize their children, and some wealthy parents lavish their children with money, expensive gifts, vacations, trips overseas, and so on. I have seen parents buy houses for their children.

I expect my children to work in order to support themselves. I received allowance until about 14 when I started working for a wage. I also was expected to work for my parents, so the allowance was earned. I also paid for my college education, and I helped my parents support my sibblings.

 

[JasonRox]

No I don't. You could ask him questions about it, but don't be surprised if he gets ratty with you for being nosey. It's up to the parents, if they have the means to help him out then fair play.

I agree.

I don't get allowances, but I know of many students who do. It doesn't bother me at all. If the parents have the means to help, then it's up to them to choose whether or not they want to help.

 

[Moonbear]

That seems odd to still be getting an allowance at 24. You should be supporting yourself by then.

I never really got an allowance, except when I was really little and got something like 50 cents a week to stick in my piggy bank. Then again, until I left for college, my parents bought anything I needed (NOT anything I wanted). Once I was in college, they'd help out here and there with book money or tuition, but for anything else I needed, I had to earn the money by then. By 24, I was helping them out, and couldn't imagine accepting an allowance at that age. I thought it was odd enough that I had a friend who still lived home with his parents at that age.

 

[twisting_edge]

The only way I could see my parents paying is if I was in serious financial trouble.

I read a story in the NYT not too long ago saying this is actually a fairly common practice now (adult children receiving an allowance). With rents consuming more and more of everyone's budget, it is becoming harder for those with entry level jobs to liv on their own, especially in cities. So the parents often help out.

The proportion of adult children living with their parents has also skyrocketed. I don't recall the figure, but I do recall thinking it was an order of magnitude larger than I would have guessed. Off the top of my head, it was something like 25% of people age 30-40 live with their parents.

Now, that may include a lot of cases where the parents have retired and moved in with the children, but most 30-40 year olds' parents probably haven't retired.

 

[Moonbear]

I read a story in the NYT not too long ago saying this is actually a fairly common practice now (adult children receiving an allowance). With rents consuming more and more of everyone's budget, it is becoming harder for those with entry level jobs to liv on their own, especially in cities. So the parents often help out.

If you can't support yourself even with a job, it's time to relocate to someplace more affordable. That, or adjust to the idea that roaches are cheap pets. I think it's becoming more common for young adults to be trying to live well above their means...they seem to think they can just jump right into a first home just like what they grew up in and not that they need to start out small and cheap and work their way up, just like their parents did.

The proportion of adult children living with their parents has also skyrocketed. I don't recall the figure, but I do recall thinking it was an order of magnitude larger than I would have guessed. Off the top of my head, it was something like 25% of people age 30-40 live with their parents.

Now, that may include a lot of cases where the parents have retired and moved in with the children, but most 30-40 year olds' parents probably haven't retired.

And I wouldn't expect the number of parents retiring and moving in with their children would be what's skyrocketing anyway. My parents are due in town tomorrow, and I'm dreading having to spend a full day with them on Wednesday; I cannot imagine trying to live with them full-time!

 

[kant]

Because of your question It would depend on why you want to know.

I am curious about people.. as well as many other things

 

[Math Is Hard]

I got an allowance until I was 15. The bulk of it was allocated for lunch money at my high school cafeteria. When I turned 16, I got a job.

 

[edward]

The trend for young people to move back in with their parents is a recent development. They are called the "Boomerang Generation" and as TE mentioned, there are millions of them.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2002410350_gradboomerang01.html

 

[Astronuc]

My wife works with a woman in her early 50's, a divorcee, who lives with her parents and her sister. My daughter told me of someone she met in his 50's, who still lives with his parents, and has never married.

Apparently, due to high cost of living, there are many 20-, 30- and 40-somethings who live with their parents.

I would never live with my parents again - as much as I love them. I left home at 17 and never looked back. Besides I have kids of my own to raise - with the expectation that they will be self-sufficient.

And when they are out the door, I'll probably move to the other side of the planet.

 

[devious_]

I'm 19 and I get allowance. (I have a part-time job during school, and ideally a full-time job otherwise.) Where I'm from, it's perfectly natural for your parents to take care of you financially until you get your degree. Then it's your turn to work your ass off so they can retire with luxury.

As an aside, living with your parents isn't that big of a deal back home, either. I don't get why it's considered 'wrong' in America, and elsewhere.

 

[JasonRox]

If you can't support yourself even with a job, it's time to relocate to someplace more affordable. That, or adjust to the idea that roaches are cheap pets. I think it's becoming more common for young adults to be trying to live well above their means...they seem to think they can just jump right into a first home just like what they grew up in and not that they need to start out small and cheap and work their way up, just like their parents did.

First, it's not as easy anymore. Job openings aren't sitting everywhere.

My dad tells me about having no education and making lots of money. That's rarely possible today, unless you consider $20,000 a lot of money.

Second, tuition is no doubt higher today.

Third, I can accept the idea that students are now living beyond what they can afford.

Fourth, parents do not want their kids to start over. They want to keep the "wealth" earned in the family or bring it higher. Supporting the kids through school is a way of helping them maintain that.

Fifth, times have changed and now we don't move out right away.

I have no idea what the story is with the 24 year old, but I really don't see the problem.

I'm 23 and still live at home. I have school to pay for and books, or basically anything I want. My mom provides me with food and shelter. Good food and shelter no doubt!

Thanks, to my mom, doors of opportunities are opening. Like, my new TA job. That wouldn't have happened if I had to pay for everything. In fact, I probably wouldn't be in school. A possible NSERC Research Grant would have to be lost. I also wouldn't be writing for the school newspaper. So many things that's helping me go further, so why would my mom just stop and watch me rot? Because that's life? Hmmm... I totally disagree.

 

[rhuthwaite]

I still get an allowance but then again I am only 18. I get $50 a weeK from my parents plus $70 for babysitting a girl around the corner and then $1500 a year from my grandparents if I do well in my studies (so every year)

 

[JasonRox]

I still get an allowance but then again I am only 18. I get $50 a weeK from my parents plus $70 for babysitting a girl around the corner and then $1500 a year from my grandparents if I do well in my studies (so every year)

That's not allowance.

Parents pay you for being good.

Babysitting is a job.

Grandparents give scholarships.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I'm 19 and I get allowance. (I have a part-time job during school, and ideally a full-time job otherwise.) Where I'm from, it's perfectly natural for your parents to take care of you financially until you get your degree. Then it's your turn to work your ass off so they can retire with luxury.

I see that a lot with my Asian friends here in the U.S. The parents support them to the fullest extent possible through college and grad school, but it is implied that the kids will use their career success to care for their parents in old age. For the most part, I think it's great. I wish I had had that kind of push and support.
The only downside I see is that parents sometimes take too much control over the kids aspirations. My buddy, who is Vietnamese, is a brilliant artist and wanted to go into fashion or industrial design, but her folks made her get a degree in computer programming because it was more practical.

 

[rhuthwaite]

That's not allowance.

Parents pay you for being good.

Babysitting is a job.

Grandparents give scholarships.

Thanks Jason. Haha Parents actually pay me for appearing to be good... What they don't know can't hurt them

 

[edward]

I see that a lot with my Asian friends here in the U.S. The parents support them to the fullest extent possible through college and grad school, but it is implied that the kids will use their career success to care for their parents in old age. For the most part, I think it's great. I wish I had had that kind of push and support.
The only downside I see is that parents sometimes take too much control over the kids aspirations. My buddy, who is Vietnamese, is a brilliant artist and wanted to go into fashion or industrial design, but her folks made her get a degree in computer programming because it was more practical.

A degree in computer programming is not the guarantee of a good job that it once was. Those jobs are being outsourced to India by the thousands.

 

[Math Is Hard]

A degree in computer programming is not the guarantee of a good job that it once was. Those jobs are being outsourced to India by the thousands.

This was many years ago. And she did very well with it. But still, it was not her dream.

 

[Moonbear]

The only downside I see is that parents sometimes take too much control over the kids aspirations.

I think that's a big downside. As long as your parents are supporting you, they can tell you what to do. Sure, it's harder to support yourself, but at least you appreciate what you've earned and can make your own choices. I can understand helping your kid out from time to time if they have some unexpected expenses and are struggling to make ends meet, or to help with college tuition, but an allowance seems a bit over the top.

 

[Evo]

The trend for young people to move back in with their parents is a recent development. They are called the "Boomerang Generation" and as TE mentioned, there are millions of them.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2002410350_gradboomerang01.html

Great article Edward. Times are defintiely changing. Kids aren't gettting maried as young. More are going for higher educations, and the cost of living really has gotten out of control. If the parent can afford it and is willing, I do not see anything wrong in helping. I don't see a cutoff off at age 18. The Evo child does more for me than I could dare to ask her. If I can help her make ends meet, I'm more than happy too. Why should she suffer if she is going to school full time and working full time, PLUS running errands for me?

My parents used to send me and my husband "care packages" when he was in th navy during the Vietnam War. Our monthly food allowance was $40. If it hadn't been for my parents, I'd have probably starved to death, my husband could eat on base, I couldn't. Luckily I had a HUGE garden and grew a lot of my on food.

 

[kant]

Great article Edward. Times are defintiely changing. Kids aren't gettting maried as young. More are going for higher educations, and the cost of living really has gotten out of control. If the parent can afford it and is willing, I do not see anything wrong in helping. I don't see a cutoff off at age 18. The Evo child does more for me than I could dare to ask her. If I can help her make ends meet, I'm more than happy too. Why should she suffer if she is going to school full time and working full time, PLUS running errands for me?

My parents used to send me and my husband "care packages" when he was in th navy during the Vietnam War. Our monthly food allowance was $40. If it hadn't been for my parents, I'd have probably starved to death, my husband could eat on base, I couldn't. Luckily I had a HUGE garden and grew a lot of my on food.

Is 40 dollars a lot back in those days?

 

[kant]

Well, can anyone tell me this: How can a 24 year old survive with an allowence of 70 dollars per week? Is the parent a little bit cheap? come on...

 

[Stevedye56]

I got an allowance until I was 15. The bulk of it was allocated for lunch money at my high school cafeteria. When I turned 16, I got a job.

Same here.

 

[turbo]

I never got an allowance. Had a paper route at 12, worked for the local sexton at age 14 as part of a crew, was the only person working for the sexton at 15 and 16, so was almost full-time all summer, and worked weekends in the spring and fall. Worked as a flagger all summer at age 17 and greased the construction vehicles on my lunch hour for extra money. All through college, I worked summers in the local mills and played in bands on weekends for extra cash. My parents helped me if I couldn't cover all of my tuition, books, etc, but by the time I started buyng and selling guitars and amps as a side-line, I could pretty much hold my own. My parents grew up poor and worked their way to a comfortable (though by no means lavish) living standard. I'm glad that they didn't just hand me money.

After I had had my paper route for about a year, I had a little over $40 saved up, so my father drove me 25 miles to the nearest big town so I could buy a bicycle (and expand my paper route). I had just enough to buy the bike that I wanted, but couldn't cover the sales tax. He just shrugged and drove me back home. A couple of weeks later, I had earned enough money to cover the sales tax, too, so he drove me back to buy the bike. That may seem silly to some people, but it was a valuable lesson in self-reliance.

 

[russ_watters]

First, it's not as easy anymore. Job openings aren't sitting everywhere.

That 'it's tougher than it used to be' crap is just that: crap. Have you looked at the unemployment rate lately?

Yeah, job openings are "sitting everywhere".

Well, can anyone tell me this: How can a 24 year old survive with an allowence of 70 dollars per week? Is the parent a little bit cheap? come on...

First answer this: should a 24 year old be supported completely by their parents? I don't know the circumstances there, but 24 is over college age, so unless there is something unusual going on there, I don't see any reason why this person should be getting any allowance. In fact, once a "kid" has reached working age, they should be paying rent as pressure to become self-sufficient.

Self-sufficiency is a pretty critical life-goal/skill and it is something people don't seem to care about anymore. Our culture has become one of entitlement (yeah, it's the hippies' fault again) and if we aren't careful we're going to become a self-sustaining mediocracy (c).

 

[JasonRox]

That 'it's tougher than it used to be' crap is just that: crap. Have you looked at the unemployment rate lately?

Yeah, job openings are "sitting everywhere". First answer this: should a 24 year old be supported completely by their parents? I don't know the circumstances there, but 24 is over college age, so unless there is something unusual going on there, I don't see any reason why this person should be getting any allowance. In fact, once a "kid" has reached working age, they should be paying rent as pressure to become self-sufficient.

Self-sufficiency is a pretty critical life-goal/skill and it is something people don't seem to care about anymore. Our culture has become one of entitlement (yeah, it's the hippies' fault again) and if we aren't careful we're going to become a self-sustaining mediocracy (c).

I don't call jobs that pay $20,000 big job openings, like I said. I wouldn't call those jobs. They are dead end. Jobs you had before actually had a route you can take. All you have now is like... manager of a small little place for $22,000. $2000 was your fat raise.

I don't pay rent and I think I'm self-sufficient. For the small amount of debt that I owe after years of paying for school, it's a clear indication that I know what to do with money.

Note: I pay for my education.

Note: In my area, unemployment isn't high. There are no jobs around here. The best a student can get is minimum wage. Full-time at that wage will make about $13,000CDN. You can't live off that! Not to mention pay for school too!

 

[mattmns]

My parents buy me a bus pass every month ($12), that is about as close to an allowance that I get

 

[Evo]

Is 40 dollars a lot back in those days?

I could buy cheap pork shoulder steaks for 79 cents a pound then, they go for around $2.79 a pound now. I learned how to make 12 varieties of hot dog casserole. With the occasional mastodon the village hunters brought in, and my parent's care packages, I managed

 

[Astronuc]

Our culture has become one of entitlement (yeah, it's the hippies' fault again) and if we aren't careful we're going to become a self-sustaining mediocracy (c).

Hippies are self-sufficient. Silicon Valley is full of hippy entrepreneurs.

There are plenty of Republicans/conservatives who thrive on government 'grants' and subsidies - welfare for the rich. And there are plenty of bureaucrats (both democrat and republican) who get paid for administering ineffective programs.

 

[russ_watters]

I don't call jobs that pay $20,000 big job openings, like I said. I wouldn't call those jobs. They are dead end. Jobs you had before actually had a route you can take. All you have now is like... manager of a small little place for $22,000. $2000 was your fat raise.

I don't know what you studied in college, but if you don't like the available choices, you should have studied something else. Heck, regardless of what you studied, there are things you can do that will in just a few months land you a much, much better job than that. After several years of wallowing in self-pity at the uselessness of his "liberal studies" degree, a buddy of mine went and got himself a paralegal certificate. It took something like 3 months and he immediately found a job paying $40k (and has gotten raises relatively quickly since then).

I don't pay rent and I think I'm self-sufficient.

Sorry, but that's self-contradictory. The definition of self-sufficient is that you provide for your own needs. If you rely on someone else to provide you with a place to live, then you are not self-sufficient.

For the small amount of debt that I owe after years of paying for school, it's a clear indication that I know what to do with money.

Nice to know, but being responsible and being self-sufficient are not the same thing.

I really don't understand the mentality there. When I got out of the navy at 26 and needed to live at home for a few months while I looked for a job, I was really antsy. I hated the fact that I needed my parents. I felt like a loser. I have a friend who is 32 and still lives with his parents and though he doesn't like it, he doesn't hate it enough to make a serious effort at change in his life. His mother loves it, though - she treats him pretty much the same as the family dog (and always has).

 

[russ_watters]

Hippies are self-sufficient. Silicon Valley is full of hippy entrepreneurs.

Both of those sentences are contradictions in terms. Long hair or not, Steve Jobs is not a hippie. Maybe the distinction is subtle, but the difference between a hippie and an offbeat visionary is that the the hippie's visions are pot-induced incoherent ramblings while the visionary's are acutally good ideas and actually work. That, plus the entrepreneur has the motivation do things, while the hippie just sits around a campfire smoking pot and talking about doing things (things that make no sense).

There are plenty of Republicans/conservatives who thrive on government 'grants' and subsidies - welfare for the rich. And there are plenty of bureaucrats (both democrat and republican) who get paid for administering ineffective programs.

Certainly. They're wrong too, but this thread isn't about corporate welfare, it's about slacker hippies.

 

[Beeza]

I'm 21, living on my own, going to school full time, and pay all of my own bills including 1050$ a month in rent. I do struggle especially during the winter, but I still work atleast 30 hours a week between the physics labs and roofing. However, the only reason that I can manage this is because I spent 5 years as a roofer, 2 of those years as the foreman, and the company has allowed me to continue working part-time on weekends making more money than I will having graduated college and finding an entry-level job. I have no idea how other people manage to get by making10-15$ an hour. I'd need my parents help if I did not spend my weekends roofing.

On a side note, since I'm working really hard and doing everything on my own, I think it has made me a more motivated student and a better person. This leads me to consider whether or not to pay for my kids tuition when I have children.

 

[JasonRox]

I don't know what you studied in college, but if you don't like the available choices, you should have studied something else. Heck, regardless of what you studied, there are things you can do that will in just a few months land you a much, much better job than that.

I'm not done school.

Anyways, things have changed.

Around here you literally can not find a job, nevermind one that pays more than minimum wage!

I don't plan on living at home forever. I have plans to move out by April of 2006. I'll be 23, so it isn't that bad in my opinion. Considering my sister is 25, making 50k, and living at home!

 

[russ_watters]

Well, I'm not really sure how this conversation got to be about you, specifically - I was pretty specific in saying that it is people who are out of school who should be self-sufficient (in a reasonable amount of time after leaving school).

 

[Moonbear]

Around here you literally can not find a job, nevermind one that pays more than minimum wage!

Then people need to move to where the jobs are. That's what the people I went to school with did...when we couldn't find jobs that would cover high prices of rent or homes in the town we grew up in, we moved. Some just moved to different parts of the state, others moved across the country. And, no things aren't that different. My sister started out with a $20,000/yr job out of college...I actually think it was a bit less than that...she was a social worker and that just doesn't pay well...the cost of living hasn't changed much since she was starting out. So, she got a second job as a lifeguard at a hotel to help pay the rent, lived in a cheap one-bedroom apartment, and managed to make ends meet. Or, you get a roommate to share the costs of an apartment until you earn enough to afford one on your own.

I'd have hated having to depend on my parents once I graduated college. It was bad enough having to live back home for summers while in college. There's a point where the kids are supposed to move out and be on their own, and make their own mistakes, and deal with their own problems, even if it means eating Ramen noodles for weeks at a time. Besides, it's kind of fun to think back to the first apartment or two when end tables were made out of a sheet thrown over cardboard boxes and you learned to cook meals with one saucepan and one frying pan you picked up at a garage sale somewhere.

On a side note, since I'm working really hard and doing everything on my own, I think it has made me a more motivated student and a better person. This leads me to consider whether or not to pay for my kids tuition when I have children.

Yes, I agree that it's good to have to work for what you get in life. I would expect my kids to work to pay at least part of their tuition. I wouldn't take it to the point where it would jeopardize their ability to go to college if they couldn't pay all of it, or if it would put their grades at risk if they had to work too many hours during the school year, but just learning to juggle work and school is a darned good life skill. Then again, they'll have free tuition wherever I'm working, but I think kids need to leave home when they go to college so they learn to fend for themselves, so I would never push them to attend where I'm working.