Why Didn't God Qualify for University Tenure?

  • Thread starter Thread starter iansmith
  • Start date Start date
AI Thread Summary
The discussion humorously critiques the hypothetical reasons why God might not achieve tenure at a university. Key points include the lack of significant publications, issues with language and references, and doubts about authorship. The conversation highlights God's limited collaborative efforts, challenges in replicating results, and ethical concerns regarding human subjects. Additionally, it touches on God's teaching methods, such as infrequent class attendance and unconventional office hours. The tone remains light-hearted, with participants sharing jokes and playful commentary about God's sense of humor and the concept of tenure in academia. Overall, the thread blends humor with a satirical take on academic standards and divine attributes.
iansmith
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
Messages
1,320
Reaction score
2
Some academic careers just never take off...

Why God never received tenure at any university:

1. He had only one major publication.

2. It was in Hebrew.

3. It had no references.

4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.

5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.

6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?

7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.

9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.

10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.

12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.

13. Some say he had his son teach the class.

14. He expelled his first two students for learning.

15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.

16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop
 
Physics news on Phys.org
bwah hah hah!

Delightful

I can only hope that in making a pointless response to your joke, more people will end up reading it
 
Becareful not to walk out in a lightning storm... :smile:
 
I'm going to have to hang this on my bullitin board... just to reserve my own little spot in hell :wink:
-HBar
 
CRACKED ME UP!

I'm going to show this to the pastor of my church! He's going to love it!
 
Pssst whom do you think invented humor?
(A hint, not the devil!)
 
Originally posted by HBar
I'm going to have to hang this on my bullitin board... just to reserve my own little spot in hell :wink:
-HBar
Umm..I think you're going to have to go just a little bit further than THIS to reserve your own little spot in hell. Personally, I think God has one 'hell' of a sense of humor! Just look around you! :wink:
 
"Personally, I think God has one 'hell' of a sense of humor! Just look around you!"

"I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor."
depeche mode

yup.
 
"...Because Tenure is finite, and God is Infinite"
 

Similar threads

Replies
24
Views
2K
Replies
2
Views
2K
Replies
2
Views
2K
Replies
3
Views
571
Replies
18
Views
4K
Replies
14
Views
3K
Back
Top