Why Do I Feel So Lonely Despite Being Surrounded by People?

[Chi Meson]

Loseyourname

You state of mind is not all that surprising considering you've got Ian Curtis in your avitar!

I had Joy Division on my turntable non-stop when I was in college and I was in a perpetual mental funk. I can't say the music was the cause of the state of mind, or if my state of mind was what made the music so good. Anyway, my advice has always been: exercise. Some good long-distance endurance exercise. It works faster than Zoloft or imiprimine.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I've always found that helping others makes me feel better about myself. It gives me a sense of purpose and hope that I find very rewarding. Maybe working at a soup kitchen or any kind of community service would help? Even just a few weekends.

I agree with Huckleberry 100%. It's great therapy if you can motivate yourself to get down to the shelter and volunteer.

If helping people isn't your thing, I highly recommend helping out at an animal shelter. Go walk the dogs, pet the cats. It's unbelievably difficult to be in a bad or lonely mood when some unfortunate critter is licking your face out of sincere gratitude.

 

[SOS2008]

I don't suppose now is the time to mention the Lakers didn't make it in the play-offs. I wonder how the Suns are doing... Oh just kiddin'

I know you don't like personal observations (though you did start this thread), but you are so young, intelligent, and cute (if I might say). You have all the world and many years of life in front of you. From your posts, and the poetry thread, etc., you strike me as having an artistic side, and to be a deep, spiritual person. My father is like that, and moodiness goes along with that. So maybe it's just the small price to pay for all your talents, huh?

 

[Moonbear]

I'm not a very giving person, huckleberry. I'm also incredibly narcissistic and rather arrogant.

This statement struck me as odd. I've never heard someone who was truly narcissistic and arrogant come right out and say so. Or, perhaps that's part of the problem. You may have just hit one of those points in life where you sit down and think about where you are, where you came from and where you want to go. Perhaps these qualities stand out to you now because it bothers you when you feel that way? You may not be arrogant all the time, but when you do act arrogantly, perhaps it bothers you after-the-fact, so it stands out to you? I ask because I just don't think someone who was always arrogant would have the humility to recognize that aspect of their personality and admit to it. We all go through stages like that, where what worked for us while we were young and feeling invincible just doesn't work for how we want to lead our adult lives. Sometimes there's also a degree of peer pressure involved -- a sense that everyone who knows you is going to look at you like you've just grown three heads if you suddenly change the way you do things.

I could be wrong, I hardly know you well enough from this one forum to get inside your head, so take that observation any way you want. If it sounds like it could be you, then take the bull by the horns and make that change you're seeking. If I'm way off base, well, maybe it'll come in handy as advice for someone else some day.

 

[Joel]

Sounds like good advice to just about anyone, MB. I can relate.

But one question, how long can be considered 'a stage'? Years with just a few weak moments is alright, right? Just checking.

Despite, when we have our downs we may have a chance to look at out lives more realistically than when we are 'up and running, consumed without daily activities. It's a chanse to take a look in the mirror, grunt and continue on whatever new revealed road. (I don't make much of a poet... )

 

[Huckleberry]

I'm not afraid to jump in way over my head. I think I understand the narcissistic and arrogant comment. I think it has to do with personal perspective. I have never found loseyourname's posts to be overly narcissistic or arrogant. They are almost always open-minded and helpful. He seems to be trying to take a neutral stance in order to maintain objectivity and see reality for what it is without any personal bias. It is a destruction of the ego, the isolation of the self. It can be a very lonely place in a world where people expect others to choose sides and then make judgements about them.

i.e. My point of view is always the best. When I hear something from someone else that is a better point of view than my own I adopt it into my beliefs. Then my point of view is once again superior. (narcissistic and arrogant, yet open-minded and understanding)

Having this philosophy and trying to communicate with others can be frustrating because it seems like one is always doing the bending and the compromising and nobody else seems to have any interest in learning, only in propogating their own beliefs. The purpose of an argument is not to provide a winner and a loser, but to reveal the truth. Sometimes that is difficult when it strays out of the boundaries of the observable universe.

 

[zoobyshoe]

My point of view is always the best. When I hear something from someone else that is a better point of view than my own I adopt it into my beliefs. Then my point of view is once again superior. (narcissistic and arrogant, yet open-minded and understanding)

It's like I'm listening to myself talk.

The purpose of an argument is not to provide a winner and a loser, but to reveal the truth."

Are you a child I didn't know I had?

 

[Huckleberry]

It's like I'm listening to myself talk.

Are you a child I didn't know I had?

Dad? Is that you? Where have you been all these years?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Dad? Is that you? Where have you been all these years?

IT'S A BOY!


(Cigars anyone?)

 

[Huckleberry]

Toss one over here Dad. What kind is it anyway? Cuban?

 

[zoobyshoe]

(Shhhhhh! They're illegal. Don't ever do this when I'm not around to supervise.)

 

[Ba]

When I was feeling lonelym that was when I started practicing my trumpet more, music does great things. Things do tend to drag though, I also started doing some pretty stupid things looking back in retrospect, but they were fun at the time.

 

[merak]

a...short track racing on dirt,with a vary big motor.
nothing else like it,to perk you up.

b... a beautiful hot girl friend..((sometimes its a tie btw racing
and a hot girl friend ,but that's normal. do not be alarmed))

c...shooting a 22 cal rifle... at a coke or any brand of beer can,for
long periods of time..

d...watching south park,,over and over...

 

[Moonbear]

(Shhhhhh! They're illegal. Don't ever do this when I'm not around to supervise.)

I didn't know there were laws in the Zoobie brush.

 

[The_Professional]

This statement struck me as odd. I've never heard someone who was truly narcissistic and arrogant come right out and say so.

When I took psych, narcissistic people are characterized as someone who loves talking about themselves and incredibly self-centered. They usually bore the people around them and would never admit they're narcissistic.