If the numerator had a degree greater than that of the denominator, you could simply divide it down until it was no longer rational.
The coefficient of the highest degree is used (and important) because of the way limits work I suppose. If you divide everything by the highest degree variable in the denominator, you will find that all of the parts of lesser degree will end up with a variable in their denominator. If you "take the limit" as the variable goes to +/- infinity (just imagine that x gets bigger and bigger and bigger), you will find that these parts with a number on top, and a variable on the bottom get smaller and smaller until they basically become zero. Thus, only the leading coefficients remain (as constants) and thus play a role in the H-asymptote. I hope that helps.
This is a really good question, which you will explore more in Calculus I.