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Why God never received tenure

  1. Aug 27, 2003 #1


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    Some academic careers just never take off...

    Why God never received tenure at any university:

    1. He had only one major publication.

    2. It was in Hebrew.

    3. It had no references.

    4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.

    5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.

    6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?

    7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

    8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.

    9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.

    10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

    11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.

    12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.

    13. Some say he had his son teach the class.

    14. He expelled his first two students for learning.

    15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.

    16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop
  2. jcsd
  3. Aug 27, 2003 #2
    bwah hah hah!


    I can only hope that in making a pointless response to your joke, more people will end up reading it
  4. Aug 30, 2003 #3
    Becareful not to walk out in a lightning storm... :smile:
  5. Sep 3, 2003 #4
    I'm going to have to hang this on my bullitin board... just to reserve my own little spot in hell :wink:
  6. Sep 3, 2003 #5


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    I'm going to show this to the pastor of my church!! He's gonna love it!
  7. Sep 4, 2003 #6
    Pssst whom do you think invented humor?
    (A hint, not the devil!)
  8. Sep 4, 2003 #7


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    Umm..I think you're going to have to go just a little bit further than THIS to reserve your own little spot in hell. Personally, I think God has one 'hell' of a sense of humor! Just look around you! :wink:
  9. Sep 9, 2003 #8
    "Personally, I think God has one 'hell' of a sense of humor! Just look around you!"

    "I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor."
    depeche mode

  10. Sep 10, 2003 #9
    "........Because Tenure is finite, and God is Infinite"
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