The discussion revolves around a playful exchange of limericks among forum members, showcasing their creativity and humor. Participants share original limericks, often incorporating themes of absurdity, personal anecdotes, and light-hearted insults. The conversation highlights the importance of rhythm and rhyme structure in crafting effective limericks, with some members offering critiques and advice on poetic techniques. There is a recurring theme of competition, particularly between two members, Tribdog and Matt, as they challenge each other's skills and engage in friendly banter. Overall, the thread emphasizes the enjoyment of wordplay and the camaraderie fostered through shared humor in poetry.
#51
zoobyshoe
6,506
1,268
mattmns said:
I think I am done for the night,
this will give trib time to bite,
my rhymes, which you know are number one,
yeah, you can't touch my lyrical massacre son,
spectators, sorry but it's going to be a short fight.
Oh, Matt, you are having no luck,
For your limericks truthfully suck.
You ought to back down,
Cause you sound like a clown,
And most chickens more lyrically cluck.
Everyone seems to pick on Matt,
When his limericks fall a bit flat.
He tries really hard,
But misses by a yard,
Because rhythm can't be pulled from a hat.
(Dammit Greg, I need that groan smiley, stat!)
#53
TheStatutoryApe
296
4
There once was a mentor named Moonie
Who often was quite a bit moody
Twas the chocolate she craved
And the reason she behaved
In a manner some thought a bit loony
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#54
TheStatutoryApe
296
4
credit to Asimov
There once was a woman from Exeter
So beautiful men craned their necks at her
One daring young knave
Even ventured to wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.
There once was a couple William and Nelly
Who spent their honeymoon belly to belly
Because in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of petrolium jelly
#55
zoobyshoe
6,506
1,268
Contest: Supply the very difficult last rhyme:"I think lim'ricks should never be nasty,
Or insult those who need rhinoplasty,
But once in a while,
I do get a smile,
From a poke at someone _ _ __ __"
There once was a couple William and Nelly
Who spent their honeymoon belly to belly
Because in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of petrolium jelly
There once was a mentor named Moonie
Who often was quite a bit moody
Twas the chocolate she craved
And the reason she behaved
In a manner some thought a bit loony
I work with someone who seems like a klutz,
When we're together, all we hit are ruts.
As her hands grow unsteady,
We can't explain this malady,
Except that she's allergic to nuts.
"I think lim'ricks should never be nasty,
Or insult those who need rhinoplasty,
But once in a while,
I do get a smile,
From a poke at someone _ _ __ __"
...who paid my last fee. (darn, a syllable too long)
...running past me. (a bit better)
#58
zoobyshoe
6,506
1,268
The ideal solution must end in "asty" since this is so firmly established in the first two lines. I'm not sure there are any words that fit that bill.
The best I could do was:
"From a poke at someone who's an ass-flea."
#59
cotarded
45
0
"I think lim'ricks should never be nasty,
Or insult those who need rhinoplasty,
But once in a while,
I do get a smile,
From a poke at someone _ _ __ __"
From a poke at someone "a bit flab-by?"Nice rhymes in here.
Tribdog:
(which doesn't really compare to the guy asking you to have his babies, but hey)
lates,
cotarded.
edit: didn't see zoobyshoe's since I spent like 15 minutes trying to write my own limerick, which was a total failure.
I'm definitely using a liberal dose of poetic license (and I might not have passed my licensing exam there) to arrange the words that way and use an archaic form of the word.
There's also a word, masty, that means full of mast, as in acorns.
I think lim'ricks should never be nasty,
Or insult those who need rhinoplasty,
But once in a while,
I do get a smile,
From a poke at a golfer's brass tee
OK, lame whiff at that one. I like this one better.Them home brews should never taste nasty,
Or insult a nose needin' 'plasty,
But once in a while
I do broach a smile
From a sip of me pungent gas-tea.
#66
Lisa!
Gold Member
650
99
The boy rented a room
he was a new groom
his wife was not so nice
their dinner was always rice
they were afrai of gloom!
#67
zoobyshoe
6,506
1,268
Folks, people aren't getting the rhythm thing. The first, second and last line should all have the same number of syllables as each other. The second and third line match each other in syllables as well. Now, beyond that, you want to strive such that the stresses also are in the same place in each of the three, and each of the two.
Here is THE classic limerick:
There once was a lad from Nantucket
Whose ____ was so long he could ___ it.
He said with a grin,
As he licked off his chin,
If my ear was a ____ I could ___ it.
Now the rhythm in that is clear, definite, and unmistakable. It's easy to recite: just rolls of the tongue, and the reader doesn't have to do any gymnastics to make it work.
The boy rented a room
he was a new groom
his wife was not so nice
their dinner was always rice
they were afrai of gloom!
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who vomited blood in a bucket.
The reason, you see,
He loved lim'ricks, did he,
But witnessed this one and then chucked it.
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#69
zoobyshoe
6,506
1,268
When Hypnagogue started critiquin'
The blood everywhere began leakin'
Our fear of his pen,
Made mice out of men,
And our underwear's started a reekin'.
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#70
Jelfish
147
5
These lim'ricks are quite entertaining.
This statement I swear I'm not feigning.
Though some are quite yucky
Their authors are lucky
that Zooby provides proper training
#71
Jelfish
147
5
My apartment is falling to pieces
And it seems my rent only increases
The walls are bright orange
I'm missing a door-hinge
And so I'll be through when my lease is.
#72
zoobyshoe
6,506
1,268
Excellent work, Oh young, gelatinous sea-creature! You found a rhyme for "orange"!
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#73
matthyaouw
Gold Member
1,125
5
zoobyshoe said:
and the reader doesn't have to do any gymnastics to make it work.
These words took me quite by surpise.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
one's ___ in one's ear
needs 'gymnastics' my dear.
Your statement was nothing but lies.
It turns out you spoke of the prose,
not the subject the author chose.
I felt quite a tit
when i realized it.
but yes, the rhyme certainly flows.
#74
zoobyshoe
6,506
1,268
That Nantucket tale is not "prose".
It's a poem about a long hose.
So while mildly gymnastic
He was not that fantastic,
As a maker of leg knots and bows.
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#75
mattmns
1,121
5
Are my rhymes really that bad?
Cause if they are i'll be sad.
I guess it's time to hand over the throne,
and where is greg with that smilie, the moan?
Don't worry I'm not too mad.
-- If I do suck, then I blame this whole limmerick thing, I don't like having to throw in that last sentence. Damn mykeybard is srewing up!
#76
El Hombre Invisible
691
0
mattmns said:
-- If I do suck, then I blame this whole limmerick thing, I don't like having to throw in that last sentence. Damn mykeybard is srewing up!
My kyboard is als erratic
It mkes me type lke a spastic
Nowthespacebar'sstppedspacing
andican'tdouppercasing
whatameaninglesswasteofplastic
#77
Enuma_Elish
78
0
zoobyshoe said:
Here is THE classic limerick:
There once was a lad from Nantucket
Whose ____ was so long he could ___ it.
He said with a grin,
As he licked off his chin,
If my ear was a ____ I could ___ it.
There once was a lad from Nantucket
Whose tongue? was so long he could not cluck? it.
He said with a grin,
As he licked off his chin,
If my ear was a candy? I could lick? it.
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#78
zoobyshoe
6,506
1,268
mattmns said:
Are my rhymes really that bad?
Cause if they are i'll be sad.
I guess it's time to hand over the throne,
and where is greg with that smilie, the moan?
Don't worry I'm not too mad.
-- If I do suck, then I blame this whole limmerick thing, I don't like having to throw in that last sentence. Damn mykeybard is srewing up!
It's not the rhymes, they're fine. Your rhythms are all cranky and clunky. Learn from the Nantucket limerick. In Limerick terms, it's like the force. "Feel the Nantucket Limerick, Luke! Sense it all around you!"
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#79
El Hombre Invisible
691
0
zoobyshoe said:
It's not the rhymes, they're fine. Your rhythms are all cranky and clunky. Learn from the Nantucket limerick. In Limerick terms, it's like the force. "Feel the Nantucket Limerick, Luke! Sence it all around you!"
I tried that and I got tickled in my ear. Scared the bejesus out of me.
While you're perfectly able to rhyme
You should learn from Zoobie's paradigm
Of how verses scan
So the lines therein can
Last equal durations of time
#80
Enuma_Elish
78
0
Gnome sent a pic pos'd as a pasha
Said he was staying with Natasha
First I could not know
Until I guess'd how
He must have travel'd on to Russia!
#81
Lisa!
Gold Member
650
99
My name is Lisa!
I always eat pizza.
Whenever I feel sad,
your words make me mad
Lisa pizza Lisa pizza!
<zoobie isn't around here, is he? >
#82
El Hombre Invisible
691
0
Lisa! said:
My name is Lisa!
I always eat pizza.
Whenever I feel sad,
your words make me mad
Lisa pizza Lisa pizza!
<zoobie isn't around here, is he? >
There was a young lady named Lisa!
Who fell from the tower of Pisa
Landed on her head
Henceforth all that she said
Was nothing but nonsense to me, sir!
Of course, I jest.
#83
Enuma_Elish
78
0
A young lady was nam'd Lisa!
She might have spew'd like a geysa!
That's lotsa hot water
Which rise from a crater
'Tho she is a good advisa!
#84
___
61
0
there was a guy
totally hi-fi
the ultimate man
dont mess with him, else "BAHM!"
cos he's totally hi-fi
#85
zoobyshoe
6,506
1,268
When Newton observed a red fruit
Smash apart on the ground near his boot,
He looked at the moon,
And he started to swoon,
Cause if that fell then he would be moot.
#86
___
61
0
zoobyshoe said:
When Newton observed a red fruit
Smash apart on the ground near his boot,
He looked at the moon,
And he started to swoon,
Cause if that fell then he would be moot.
that was the ultimate one, i think.
#87
Lisa!
Gold Member
650
99
El Hombre Invisible said:
There was a young lady named Lisa!
Who fell from the tower of Pisa
Landed on her head
Henceforth all that she said
Was nothing but nonsense to me, sir!
Of course, I jest.
There was an invisible man,
who was very deadpan.
His jokes were so awful
He treated me like a fool.
He liked to get a suntan!
Of cours, I jest too!
#88
Jelfish
147
5
For any of of you who are still unsure of the rhythm:
A limerick is in 4/4 time (EDIT: I guess since it's in triplets it should be 12/8 or something). The strong accents go on the first and third beat and the weak accents go on the second and fourth beat. In a limerick, there is always some sort of rest at the end of each line. Also in a limerick there is often an eighth-note long pickup before the first beat. In addition, the first, second, and fifth line rhyme.
Code:
-----1st beat 3rd beat
--------| |
there ONCE was a Man from nanTUCKet
--| | |
pickup 2nd beat rest (4th beat)
Now, the rhythm doesn't have to be exactly like that, but the accents must be in the right spot.
The next important thing is that the rhythm pattern that you establish from line one must be the same in lines 2 and 5.
There once was a man from Nantucket.
Whos ____ was so ____ he could pluck it.
la LA la la La la la LA la (rest)
la LA la la La la la LA la (rest)
Now the 4th and 5th line are halved (which some of you aren't getting). They also rhyme with each other, but do not rhyme with the first, second, and fifth. The time switches to 2/2 (or if you prefer, each line gets two beats in 4/4). The accent still goes on the first beat of the measure (and the 3rd if you're in 4/4)
he SAID with a Grin
and WIPED off his Shin
Those two lines should take as long to say together as one of the longer lines plus its rest.
la LA la la La (quick rest)
la LA la la La (quick rest)
(I don't feel like writing the music again)
And the last line is rhythmically the same as the first and second and rhyme with them as well.
__ ___ ___ ___ ___ Peking duck-it.
You should be able to feel the stresses even though most of the line is blank.
Now, in practice, these rules can be stretched just a bit for the sake of fitting better words. But what makes a great limerick is the choosing of the best fitting words for the context and staying within the prescribed rhythm.
Good luck
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#89
Enuma_Elish
78
0
Another card sent by the Gnome
Had a postmark that said "from Rome"
It pictur'd th'Pope
And gave me hope
That the Gnome is still on a roam
(I can't play the piano, either.)
#90
matthyaouw
Gold Member
1,125
5
Limericks have a triplet feel.
You might say hey no big deal,
but bend the time rules,
and you'll all sound like fools,
and your rhymes will sound quite surreal.
Excellent work, Oh young, gelatinous sea-creature! You found a rhyme for "orange"!
You must be from California to think that rhymed!
#92
tribdog
768
17
Thanks Jelfish for setting us straight.
Although all my poems are great.
When it comes to gender,
you catcher or sender?
Cause Artman could sure use a date.
#93
Jelfish
147
5
I'm confused; are you asking my sex?
Please wait while I check out my specs
But speaking of Artman
He is quite the smart man
I'm male but for him, I'd be flex.
#94
tribdog
768
17
excellent. very funny
#95
Jelfish
147
5
Moonbear said:
You must be from California to think that rhymed!
I'm originally from Boston and it rhymes according to my "accent". Orange's "or" is pronounced like the "or" in core, store, poor, door. The "ange" part is pronounced "inj" like "injustice", which also rhymes with "hinge." If you then add in a bit of a cockney accent, the h in hinge disappears and you get a perfect rhyme!
#96
LeBrad
214
0
Name that mathematician:
This man's not an Edmonton skata'
But he married e to i theta
And though he went blind
Still managed to find
Gamma's cousin, the integral beta
#97
zoobyshoe
6,506
1,268
LeBrad said:
Name that mathematician:
This man's not an Edmonton skata'
But he married e to i theta
And though he went blind
Still managed to find
Gamma's cousin, the integral beta
I don't know who it is, but it's a very fine limerick.
#98
zoobyshoe
6,506
1,268
Moonbear said:
You must be from California to think that rhymed!
I do pronounce it "or-inge". Don't know where I picked that up, though.
#99
Jelfish
147
5
LeBrad said:
Name that mathematician:
This man's not an Edmonton skata'
But he married e to i theta
And though he went blind
Still managed to find
Gamma's cousin, the integral beta
"e to i theta"? "integral beta"? Must be Euler
#100
Jelfish
147
5
It's four and I'm still wide awake.
And tomorrow a test I will take.
I'll give up this fight
and write lim'ricks all night
to see now how many I'll make
>
