Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

haha

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 228574

That's better than the garbage trucks that I've seen with the slogan "We service what we smell!"

 

[davenn]

Doesn't give a lot of confidence in their abilities …..

 

[Ibix]

Here's a photo of the Arup Building on the New Museums site at Cambridge University: https://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/~ckh11/cam.html
You see all the grey cladding with the slightly rippled effect? It's lead. The rippling effect is unintentional - lead is soft enough to run slightly, and thin sheets mounted vertically become significantly thinner at the top over time. So every ten years or so, they have to take all the sheets off and re-mount them the other way up.

This building houses the Department of Materials Science.

(Or, at least, it did when I was a student there many years ago).

 

[mfb]

Direct link to image
Why would you install massive lead panels like that?

 

[Ibix]

Direct link to image

Ack! Must have copied the URL from the wrong tab or something. Thanks. Must remember to check my links...

Why would you install massive lead panels like that?

Something about using unusual materials for a materials science building, without actually discussing with the materials scientists was the story I heard. I don't know if that was departmental folk wisdom or what actually happened.

 

[BillTre]

The only thing flat-earthers fear is sphere itself...

 

[BillTre]

at Cambridge University: https://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/~ckh11/cam.html

There are black squirrels in Los Gatos, CA also!
Very unusual looking.

 

[fresh_42]

This building houses the Department of Materials Science.

Ouch! They probably weren't involved in the planning process, but the result is nevertheless somewhat embarrassing.

But why lead? Do they expect nuclear explosions nearby?

 

[Ibix]

But why lead? Do they expect nuclear explosions nearby?

Well, it's about 50m from the old Cavendish Lab. I heard they had to clean mercury out of the floorboards there after the physics department moved to its new building, and we didn't used to have the same respect for radioactive materials that we do now. So maybe it is shielding.

I suspect the explanation in #4730 is more plausible...

 

[fresh_42]

I suspect the explanation in #4730 is more plausible...

But in this case I would have expected more different materials. E.g. lead glass would have had the same effect, but you only need to turn it upside down every few decades.

 

[BillTre]

Mechanics homage to fine art!

 

[DrGreg]

My mechanic wanted to be an actor, but he couldn't get the parts.

(A recycled joke.)

 

[jtbell]

Clownfish joke: "With fronds like this, who needs anemones?"

 

[fresh_42]

I'm glad it does not snow. Shovel snow in this heat would be a torture.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Shovel snow in this heat would be a torture.

Is it easier putting out fires?

Spoiler: Optional Spoiler

1. Technically "Way No!" but actually "Yes", since the former is impossible.

2. No sweat! ...

 

[davenn]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jtbell]

Several years ago, our local newspaper reported on a county council meeting that was discussing the next year's budget. It quoted one councilman as asking why so many county departments needed "new trucks with four-wheel drive and wenches."

 

[fresh_42]

Several years ago, our local newspaper reported on a county council meeting that was discussing the next year's budget. It quoted one councilman as asking why so many county departments needed "new trucks with four-wheel drive and wenches."

Oh, yeah. Fun on the countryside can be so simple.

 

[Borg]

Mechanics homage to fine art!

Awesome photos. I just had to look up the creator - Fabris Photography.

 

[Ibix]

Several years ago, our local newspaper reported on a county council meeting

The News Quiz, a BBC Radio 4 program which does exactly what it says on the tin, reads out a clipping from a newspaper or magazine between each round. One from a local parish newsletter announced a talk in a neighbouring parish titled "Heaven and how to get there". Transport arranged from outside the Dog and Duck Inn.

wenches

A wench, I am told, is useful when one needs to turn the head of a dolt.

 

[Ibix]

Awesome photos. I just had to look up the creator - Fabris Photography.

It's interesting how they've made photos resemble oil paintings. They've both faded to black around the edges and flattened the colour somehow.

 

[BillTre]

It's interesting how they've made photos resemble oil paintings. They've both faded to black around the edges and flattened the colour somehow.

That could all be done in any decent photo manipulation program like photoshop for example.
Lighting and camera settings can also produce some of the results.

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

I think it was John Stewart on the Daily Show who observed that America is named after Amerigo Vespucci, who first showed that Columbus' discoveries were a new landmass and not the east coast of Asia, and hence that there'd been a 50% chance that his country would be the United States of Vespuccia.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

his country would be the United States of Vespuccia

Who said that USV would have been the whole Vespuccia!? ...

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Who said that USV would have been the whole Vespuccia!? ...

that his country

Unless it's a typo and you meant "this country" ...

 

[DrGreg]

Teacher: Come here now!
Kid: But I already am here!

You can't argue with the logic. Wherever you are, you can always describe it as "here".

 

[Bandersnatch]

View attachment 229098

 

[Borg]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 229151

Can't report that one! ... It's just a tree ...

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

Lost a contact lens in the bank today.
Wished I hadn't shouted: "Nobody moves!"