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Lame Jokes

by quddusaliquddus
Tags: jokes, lame
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ivanbalvan
#451
Jun9-10, 11:40 PM
P: 5
A guy walks into a doctors office, with a huge purple head.
The doctor asks him
-What happend to you?
the guy replied
-Oh I messed up doctor, i really messed up!
then the doctor asked him
-What happend tell me, how did you get this giant purple head.
So the guy tell him
-Well I was on this island and I found a lamp with a genie inside, and he said he would grant me 3 wishes.. but i messed up soo bad doc, man did I mess up..
The doctor was very confused and asked him I dont understand how you got the giant purple head...
So the guy began to explain
-Well you see doc, the genie said I had 3 wishes, so my first wish was to have a suit case full of money
The doctor had the confused look on this head
-I still dont understand how you got the giant purple head...
The guy kept telling his story.
-Well my second wish was to go back home to my family, but i messed up doc.. oh did I ever mess up!
Then the doctor said well what was your 3rd wish?
the guy told him
-thats where I messed up doc..., I wished for a giant purple head...
zzzilch
#452
Jun10-10, 05:40 AM
P: n/a
Why is Superman's costume so tight?
Because his costume says S

Why is Batman's costume so tight?
Because Superman bought it for him

Why is Spiderman's costume so tight?
Because buy 2, free 1. (Superman gave Spiderman the extra.)

One day, Batman and Superman had a race. Superman won. How come?
Because when Batman begins, Superman returns.
brother time
#453
Jun10-10, 12:24 PM
P: 44
Do you want to hear a carpenter joke?

Well I'm still working on it.

When do cannibals leave the table?

When every ones eaten
Lancelot59
#454
Jun16-10, 02:49 PM
Lancelot59's Avatar
P: 675
A guy walks into a bar, walks up to a woman and says "How do you like your eggs? Scrambled or fertilized?"
ectrhoi
#455
Jun16-10, 03:34 PM
P: 4
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba dum chhhhh!
HeLiXe
#456
Jun17-10, 02:18 AM
P: 410
Quote Quote by ectrhoi View Post
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba dum chhhhh!
OMG that one got me!
Lancelot59
#457
Jun17-10, 02:37 AM
Lancelot59's Avatar
P: 675
Quote Quote by ectrhoi View Post
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba dum chhhhh!
Ditto. That was pretty good.
Borg
#458
Jun22-10, 10:48 AM
PF Gold
Borg's Avatar
P: 758
HOW TO SELL TOOTHBRUSHES

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher. Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher. Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.

"$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Chip & Dip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog crap!"

Then I would say, "It is dog crap. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
HeLiXe
#459
Jun22-10, 03:32 PM
P: 410

amazing how everyone knew what dog crap tastes like
Lancelot59
#460
Jun22-10, 03:41 PM
Lancelot59's Avatar
P: 675
Quote Quote by HeLiXe View Post

amazing how everyone knew what dog crap tastes like
I wonder if feces are a delicacy somewhere in the world...
HeLiXe
#461
Jun22-10, 04:25 PM
P: 410
lololololol...STOP! I'm eating
Lancelot59
#462
Jun22-10, 04:39 PM
Lancelot59's Avatar
P: 675
Quote Quote by HeLiXe View Post
lololololol...STOP! I'm eating
Nom nom nom? Or Mon Mon Mon?
HeLiXe
#463
Jun22-10, 04:47 PM
P: 410
LOLOL
Lancelot59
#464
Jun22-10, 04:52 PM
Lancelot59's Avatar
P: 675
I meant mon mon mon as in vomiting because you said you were eating...

But that dog was hilarious.
HeLiXe
#465
Jun22-10, 05:06 PM
P: 410
Yeah I knew what you meant, but it reminded me of "hey mon" hence the dog there.

and really I was eating and totally about to barf !
Lancelot59
#466
Jun22-10, 05:13 PM
Lancelot59's Avatar
P: 675
But I do wonder if people actually do eat feces...
HeLiXe
#467
Jun22-10, 05:25 PM
P: 410
Well actually they do....some even for medicinal purposes, like in the ayurveda. There is even cow urine in a can like a soft drink called gau jal!
Lancelot59
#468
Jun22-10, 05:28 PM
Lancelot59's Avatar
P: 675
Quote Quote by HeLiXe View Post
Well actually they do....some even for medicinal purposes, like in the ayurveda. There is even cow urine in a can like a soft drink called gau jal!
How is that sanitary?


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