Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

View attachment 364671

Them fish are good!

 

[jtbell]

While driving during my current road trip, I have thought of some truly lame jokes.

I was reminded of one at my current lunch stop.

What’s a dog’s favorite root beer?

Barq’s!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

Sign spotted at a pub in Manchester. @pinball1970, maybe you could figure out if this is true. I mean the sign, not the message.

 

[berkeman]

Sign spotted at a pub in Manchester. @pinball1970, maybe you could figure out if this is true. I mean the sign, not the message.


View attachment 364703

A little help here? I only know Liverpool because of their very strong football club (fun to watch).

 

[fresh_42]

A little help here? I only know Liverpool because of their very strong football club (fun to watch).

IIRC then @pinball1970 is a United fan, so maybe it is his sign.

 

[Baluncore]

The sign is wrong.
It is not the only place where there are pick pockets, and it is more often at the stop after you got on, that your wallet gets off, which on average, may be two stops before you do.

 

[WWGD]

Nostradamus knew I was going to make this joke (G.Gotfried, RIP).

 

[WWGD]

It had to happen. Murphy's law, maybe: An idiot punching the jukebox to "fix" the
Cadilla ac ac ac.... at the Pizza place.

 

[pinball1970]

IIRC then @pinball1970 is a United fan, so maybe it is his sign.

It's a Manchester -Liverpool rivalry thing. Working class Mancunians look down on Liverpool and make jokes about them not working and criminal activity in their city.
So, you are likely to have your wallet stolen, car stolen there etc.
This goes back to the canals during the industrial age, they (Scouse) charged us (Mancs) high tolls to move our cotton to the port. So much so, we had enough of them and built our own canal.
The football sits on top of that.

 

[fresh_42]

It's a Manchester -Liverpool rivalry thing. Working class Mancunians look down on Liverpool and make jokes about them not working and criminal activity in their city.

I only remember when I first visited England (London) as a teenager, I saw an interview on TV of a Liverpool player, and I didn't understand a single word!

 

[pinball1970]

I only remember when I first visited England (London) as a teenager, I saw an interview on TV of a Liverpool player, and I didn't understand a single word!

You probably think I am an English gentleman Fresh, unfortunately if you ever heard my voice, I would sound more like Liam Gallagher than a BBC news reader.

 

[fresh_42]

You probably think I am an English gentleman Fresh, unfortunately if you ever heard my voice, I would sound more like Liam Gallagher than a BBC news reader.

Well, I only had school English at the time. Now, it's a lot better, but I still struggle a bit with Scottish (Amy MacDonald, John Higgins). Alan McManus works.

 

[pinball1970]

Well, I only had school English at the time. Now, it's a lot better, but I still struggle a bit with Scottish (Amy MacDonald, John Higgins). Alan McManus works.

Snooker guys! Brilliant.

 

[fresh_42]

Snooker guys! Brilliant.

I've been a Ronnie fan long before it was hip to be one. I remember the times when he left the arena mid-game for unknown reasons, or when a single look at his face told you the outcome of the entire match.

 

[WWGD]

I us

You probably think I am an English gentleman Fresh, unfortunately if you ever heard my voice, I would sound more like Liam Gallagher than a BBC news reader.

I used to watch this TV show just to listen to the accent of the ( Scottish, I believe) narrator : Wattarr.

 

[berkeman]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 364734

I guess the fees were per letter.

 

[jack action]

I'm confused how a funeral home can raise its prices and blame it on the cost of living!

 

[davenn]

 

[nsaspook]

I tried to re-marry my ex-wife, but she figured out that I was only after my money.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 364774

"Sledding prohibited" would have been too long.

 

[WWGD]

"Sledding prohibited" would have been too long.

by 5 letters?

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]