Collection of Lame Jokes

[kuruman]

What do you call a single native of Warsaw who sticks to refrigerator doors?

Spoiler

Magnetic mono-pole.

Spoiler: AI's answer

When I asked AI the same question, it said:
"Based on the pun, a single native of Warsaw (a Varsovian) who sticks to refrigerator doors is a magnetic Varsovian.

• Varsovian: A person native to or from Warsaw, Poland.
• Magnetic: The quality of sticking to refrigerator doors."

Interestingly, it recognized that this was some kind of pun but missed the importance of "single" and that a Varsovian is also a Pole.

So I asked the same question with "Poland" replacing "Warsaw" and it replied

"A Pole-ar magnet."

 

[jtbell]

So a couple (married or otherwise) would be a magnetic dipole!

 

[kuruman]

So a couple (married or otherwise) would be a magnetic dipole!

Only if they stick together.

 

[DaveC426913]

Flerf Community strangely quiet today...

 

[symbolipoint]

Flerf

People who in modern times, continue to believe that the Earth is flat.

 

[Bystander]

People who in modern times, continue to believe that the Earth is flat.

Oh, now I get it.

 

[jack action]

Flerf Community strangely quiet today...

View attachment 370649

Maybe, but chemtrail believers must have a field day!

 

[kuruman]

Disclaimer
The remainder of the lame physics jokes from my collection are rather esoteric and require familiarity with terms and/or concepts that one sees in an introductory quantum mechanics course.

What do you call the average distance from the lecturer within which the audience yawns uncontrollably?

Spoiler

Bore radius.

Spoiler

Click here for the pun.

 

[BillTre]

April Fool's Day from the U. of Oregon:

 

[kuruman]

What do you call a recluse who runs an elevator?

Spoiler

Hermit-ian operator.

 

[DennisN]

 

[kuruman]

Why were $x$ and $p_x$ cited by the quantum traffic cop?

Spoiler

They were caught riding together in the commuting lane.

Spoiler

$x$ and $p_x$ do not commute $-$ asserting that they do is an Uncertainty Principle violation.

 

[jtbell]

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[davenn]

 

[DennisN]

More aliens :

 

[kuruman]

And last but not least the pièce de résistance, a three double entendre lame joke with complete explanation. I take full responsibility for it.

Why did the expectation values $\langle \psi | H | \psi \rangle$ and $\langle \varphi | H | \varphi \rangle$ change to $H | \psi \rangle$ and $H | \varphi \rangle$?

Spoiler

Give up?

Spoiler

They took their bras off to show that they are real.

Spoiler: Complete explanation

One double entendre is "bra" which can mean either the garment or the Dirac notation symbol $\langle~|$. A second double entendre is "real" in the sense that "not real" can be either "fake" or "complex". A third double entendre is "they" which may refer either to what's expected to be underneath the garment or to the expectation values themselves.

Of course, the joke is on the expectation values who were obviously foolish. Expectation values are always real. When they modify their appearance by removing their bras, they become vectors that may or may not be real.

 

[WWGD]

Over the years, several empires sought to invade Russia steppe by steppe.

 

[berkeman]

 

[jtbell]

 

[256bits]

View attachment 370629

I don't get it.
There actually is
Radio Talk Astrology
https://astrologytalkradio.com/

 

[symbolipoint]

I don't get it.
There actually is
Radio Talk Astrology
https://astrologytalkradio.com/

The occasional person who confuses Astrology and Astronomy

 

[davenn]

 

[DennisN]

 

[256bits]

The occasional person who confuses Astrology and Astronomy

That calls for a

The bar set up a latest sexy female AI robot who knew everything and could converse with clients on a variety of topics.
A guy walks in. The AI barkeep says "What'l it be? And you mind telling me your IQ."
"Whiskey Soda and 130". After which the AI started talking about physics, the universe, Einstein's relativity", really impressing the guy with the conversation.
Second guy walks in. "What'l it be? And you mind telling me your IQ."
"Rum Tum and I guess around 80."
"Oh Great. What's your sign?"

 

[jtbell]

 

[BillTre]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[wrobel]

text: normal distribution, abnormal distribution, paranormal distribution,
normal distribution inside a boa constrictor

 

[Hill]

The last picture above should have a reference: The Little Prince