Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #951
Alert: Avocadovorians have been roaming the area recently. All Avocados are strongly advised to remain indoors or in safe locations.
 
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  • #952
FtlIsAwesome said:
Alert: Avocadovorians have been roaming the area recently. All Avocados are strongly advised to remain indoors or in safe locations.

 
  • #953
FtlIsAwesome said:
Alert: Avocadovorians have been roaming the area recently. All Avocados are strongly advised to remain indoors or in safe locations.
Just remembered something: I'm not an Avocado so I don't have to worry about it.
:-p
 
  • #954
SELF-REPLENSIHING PEPSI!
 
  • #955
The Gingerbread Warrior: Greater than a Ninja
 
  • #956
Physics Forums likes me.
Every time I login, it says "Thank you for logging in, FtlIsAwesome."
 
  • #957
What letter of the alphabet is most like a pirate ?

It's not an R.

It's a P,..because it's like an R ,... but it's missing a leg.

--

What do you call a dog with no legs ?

It doesn't matter, it still won't come to you.
 
  • #958
Isaacsname said:
What letter of the alphabet is most like a pirate ?

It's not an R.

It's a P,..because it's like an R ,... but it's missing a leg.

--

What do you call a dog with no legs ?

It doesn't matter, it still won't come to you.
Yes, these are really lame, and therefore acceptable additions to the thread.
 
  • #959
FtlIsAwesome said:
Physics Forums likes me.
Every time I login, it says "Thank you for logging in, FtlIsAwesome."
You've definitely been on a roll!
 
Last edited:
  • #960
DevilsAvocado said:
The year 2222: They have defrosted Prince and he got a bluish face, so they rename it to purple-you-rain-ee-us.

(omg that is lame! :blushing:)
Wonderfully lame DA. Thumbs up!
 
  • #961
What does a string theorist zombie say ?

" Braaaaaaaaannneeeeeessss "

A mexican zombie ?

" Beeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaannnnsss "

A vegan zombie ?

" Graaaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnnssss "
 
  • #962
Isaacsname said:
What does a string theorist zombie say ?

" Braaaaaaaaannneeeeeessss "

A mexican zombie ?

" Beeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaannnnsss "

A vegan zombie ?

" Graaaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnnssss "
Excellent! I didn't find this very funny at all.
 
  • #963
ThomasT said:
Isaacsname said:
What does a string theorist zombie say ?

" Braaaaaaaaannneeeeeessss "

A mexican zombie ?

" Beeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaannnnsss "

A vegan zombie ?

" Graaaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnnssss "
Excellent! I didn't find this very funny at all.
I did. :-p
 
  • #964
FtlIsAwesome said:
I did. :-p
I refuse to become entangled in an IIR (infinite ironic regress). You're good.
 
  • #965
Isaacsname said:
What does a string theorist zombie say ?

" Braaaaaaaaannneeeeeessss "

A mexican zombie ?

" Beeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaannnnsss "

A vegan zombie ?

" Graaaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnnssss "

A capitalist zombie?

" Gaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnnnnsssss "

An enviromentalist zombie?

" Raaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnsssssss "

A traffic officer zombie?

" Laaaaaannnnnnnneeeeeeesssssssss "

A lunar expert zombie?

" Waaaaaaannnnnnnneeeeessssss "

A crippled zombie?

" Caaaaaannnnnnnneeeeeeesssssss "

A dog enthusiast zombie?

" Daaaaannnnnnneeeeeeeessssss "

A biologist zombie?

" Vaaaaannnnnnneeeeeeesssss "

A zookeeper zombie?

" Maaaaaaannnnnnnnneeeeeessss "

A medieval torturer zombie?

" Paaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnsssss "
 
  • #966
ThomasT said:
You're good.
yes yes yes
 
  • #967
FtlIsAwesome said:
A capitalist zombie?

" Gaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnnnnsssss "

An enviromentalist zombie?

" Raaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnsssssss "

A traffic officer zombie?

" Laaaaaannnnnnnneeeeeeesssssssss "

A lunar expert zombie?

" Waaaaaaannnnnnnneeeeessssss "

A crippled zombie?

" Caaaaaannnnnnnneeeeeeesssssss "

A dog enthusiast zombie?

" Daaaaannnnnnneeeeeeeessssss "

A biologist zombie?

" Vaaaaannnnnnneeeeeeesssss "

A zookeeper zombie?

" Maaaaaaannnnnnnnneeeeeessss "

A medieval torturer zombie?

" Paaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnsssss "

OMG I am so glad I came to PF tonight :smile:
 
  • #968
HeLiXe said:
OMG I am so glad I came to PF tonight :smile:
Hi HeLiXe!

There's always something fun going on.
 
  • #969
FtlIsAwesome said:
A capitalist zombie?

" Gaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnnnnsssss "

An enviromentalist zombie?

" Raaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnsssssss "

A traffic officer zombie?

" Laaaaaannnnnnnneeeeeeesssssssss "

A lunar expert zombie?

" Waaaaaaannnnnnnneeeeessssss "

A crippled zombie?

" Caaaaaannnnnnnneeeeeeesssssss "

A dog enthusiast zombie?

" Daaaaannnnnnneeeeeeeessssss "

A biologist zombie?

" Vaaaaannnnnnneeeeeeesssss "

A zookeeper zombie?

" Maaaaaaannnnnnnnneeeeeessss "

A medieval torturer zombie?

" Paaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnsssss "

...:eek: Holy...****
 
  • #970
FtlIsAwesome said:
A capitalist zombie?

" Gaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnnnnsssss "

An enviromentalist zombie?

" Raaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnsssssss "

A traffic officer zombie?

" Laaaaaannnnnnnneeeeeeesssssssss "

A lunar expert zombie?

" Waaaaaaannnnnnnneeeeessssss "

A crippled zombie?

" Caaaaaannnnnnnneeeeeeesssssss "

A dog enthusiast zombie?

" Daaaaannnnnnneeeeeeeessssss "

A biologist zombie?

" Vaaaaannnnnnneeeeeeesssss "

A zookeeper zombie?

" Maaaaaaannnnnnnnneeeeeessss "

A medieval torturer zombie?

" Paaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnsssss "
I really don't want to appear lame. But I'm not sure if your latest offering is lame or not. In general that is. Thus, insofar as there exists the possibility of lameness wrt my understanding of your offering or your offering itself, then I suppose that you've posted thematically -- until authoritatively advised otherwise. Of course, I might not accept some ostensibly authoritative assessment of your post. And now I've confused myself again. Or was it you? Oh yeah, you're good.

Well, I thought that was sufficiently lame. What do you think? (To be honest, I think I'm stuck on a sort of lameness plateau. I want to go deeper, but don't really know how. Lead, and I will follow -- unless of course you do not lead sufficiently lamely, and then I will taunt you.)
 
  • #971
- Knock, Knock?
- Who's there?
- Polish burglar.

Is there something lamer than a Pole posting lame Polish joke?
 
  • #972
FtlIsAwesome said:
A capitalist zombie?

" Gaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnnnnsssss "

An enviromentalist zombie?

" Raaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnsssssss "

A traffic officer zombie?

" Laaaaaannnnnnnneeeeeeesssssssss "

A lunar expert zombie?

" Waaaaaaannnnnnnneeeeessssss "

A crippled zombie?

" Caaaaaannnnnnnneeeeeeesssssss "

A dog enthusiast zombie?

" Daaaaannnnnnneeeeeeeessssss "

A biologist zombie?

" Vaaaaannnnnnneeeeeeesssss "

A zookeeper zombie?

" Maaaaaaannnnnnnnneeeeeessss "

A medieval torturer zombie?

" Paaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnsssss "

:smile:

Oooh... good stuff.

@Borek: Yes, but I'd get banned if I did it! :smile:
 
  • #973
ThomasT said:
I really don't want to appear lame. But I'm not sure if your latest offering is lame or not. In general that is. Thus, insofar as there exists the possibility of lameness wrt my understanding of your offering or your offering itself, then I suppose that you've posted thematically -- until authoritatively advised otherwise. Of course, I might not accept some ostensibly authoritative assessment of your post. And now I've confused myself again. Or was it you? Oh yeah, you're good.

Well, I thought that was sufficiently lame. What do you think? (To be honest, I think I'm stuck on a sort of lameness plateau. I want to go deeper, but don't really know how. Lead, and I will follow -- unless of course you do not lead sufficiently lamely, and then I will taunt you.)

Are you "Tycho" from Penny Arcade?! :wink:
 
  • #974
nismaratwork said:
Are you "Tycho" from Penny Arcade?! :wink:
I don't even like ostriches.
 
  • #975
Borek said:
- Knock, Knock?
- Who's there?
- Polish burglar.

Is there something lamer than a Pole posting lame Polish joke?


That was incredibly humorous, thanks for starting my day with a laugh.

The knock knock joke was good too.

--

What's the difference between America and yogurt ?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture.

'drops microphone and walks off stage '
 
  • #976
Did you hear about the Lorena Bobbit computer virus?

It turns your hard drive into a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.
 
  • #977
ThomasT said:
I don't even like ostriches.

:-p

Hey, you've got the prose going, I think you should consider posing as him. :biggrin:

@Isaacsname: :smile:

"What's the difference between G-d and a surgeon? G-d knows he's not a surgeon."

@ivan: [URL]http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/scared/scared0018.gif[/URL]
 
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  • #979
Borek said:
- Knock, Knock?
- Who's there?
- Polish burglar.

Is there something lamer than a Pole posting lame Polish joke?


Yeah! a couple Jews not getting the joke for about 4 minutes. :frown: :smile:
 
  • #980
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #981
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #982
A transportation engineer zombie?

" Trrrraaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnssssss "
 
  • #983
FtlIsAwesome said:
A transportation engineer zombie?

" Trrrraaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnssssss "

A pilot zombie ?

" Plllaaaaannnnnneeeeeeeeessss"

A zombie car mechanic ?

" Auuuttttooooooomobilllleeeeeeeeesssss "

:rolleyes:
 
  • #984
Isaacsname said:
A pilot zombie ?

" Plllaaaaannnnnneeeeeeeeessss"

A zombie car mechanic ?

" Auuuttttooooooomobilllleeeeeeeeesssss "

:rolleyes:

Or Caaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrsssssssss
 
  • #985
A zombie drycleaner ?

" Staaaiiiiiiiiiinnnnsssss "

:-p
 
  • #986
Isaacsname said:
A pilot zombie ?

" Plllaaaaannnnnneeeeeeeeessss"

A zombie car mechanic ?

" Auuuttttooooooomobilllleeeeeeeeesssss "

:rolleyes:

That last one doesn't work. :-p
 
  • #987
Zombie Singer?

"Reeeeefffrraaaaaaiiiiinnnsss"

Zombie Pedagogue?

"Eeexxxxxplllaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnssss"

heh... so lame.
 
  • #988
Zombie electrician?

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnsssss.
 
  • #989
Lancelot59 said:
Zombie electrician?

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnsssss.

Zombie PT?

Spppprrraaaaaaaaiiinnnsssss
 
  • #990
A photographist zombie?

" Frrrraaaaaaammmmmeeeesssssss "
 
  • #991
nismaratwork said:
Zombie PT?

Spppprrraaaaaaaaiiinnnsssss

Zombie porn star?

Baaaaaaabeeeeeessss.
 
  • #992
A zombie with a headache?

" Assssppprrrrriiiiinnnn "
 
  • #993
FtlIsAwesome said:
A transportation engineer zombie?

" Trrrraaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnssssss "

:smile:

A physicist zombie studying Relativity?

"Frrrraaaaammmeesssss"


P.S. Damn, Fit you got me!
 
  • #994
Lancelot59 said:
Zombie porn star?

Baaaaaaabeeeeeessss.

More like, "AAAAIIIIIIDDDDSSSS" :bugeye:


Zombie Origami artist?

"Crrrrraaaaannnneeesss"
 
  • #995
Zombie Ex-mother inlaw ?

" Disdaaaiiiiiiinnnssss "

...' backs slowly towards exit '
 
  • #996
nismaratwork said:
Zombie Origami artist?

"Crrrrraaaaannnneeesss"
Or a constuction zombie.
 
  • #997
A cowboy rides into town one day, shrouded in dust. He eases his horse up to the the saloon, hops off, ties the horse off and put on the feedbag.

He walks around to the rear of the horse, lifts up the tail and kisses the horse right where you wouldn't.

The other cowboys, stunned into silence momentarily, ask the lone stranger

" What the hell was that for ..? "

The stranger replies

" ... " Chapped lips "

To which they reply

" ..What the hell does that have to do with chapped lips...? "

The stranger looks up and says

" Well,...It keeps me from licking them "
 
  • #998
OK... I just died a little inside...


:bugeye:
 
  • #999
Ha ! Didn't they warn you..? I'm dangerous...

...ly stupid.

:-p
 
  • #1,000
Isaacsname said:
Ha ! Didn't they warn you..? I'm dangerous...

...ly stupid.

:-p

Heh... :biggrin:
 

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