Collection of Lame Jokes

[FtlIsAwesome]

"This is Concordean 502, ready to drop payload."
"You have a go to drop the Tsar Bomba 4.0."
The massive bomb drops to the ground. It explodes in a 200 megaton fireball that engulfs the 55th TaeKwanDoDo Division. My bird zips away.
I put on sunglasses and say "Oooh! Shiny! F!r3w0rxx0rz!"

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Ahhh.. what did we do before photoshop?

Humanity told stories about tall beanstalks, giants, and The Time Machine by H. G. Wells.

 

[nismaratwork]

Humanity told stories about tall beanstalks, giants, and The Time Machine by H. G. Wells.

Hmmm... not too bad.

Still, I think the birds would be better if they ARE the projectiles. They circulate around your jetstream, and when need arises they go into a ballistic trajectory and the kinetic energy alone is the bomb.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Still, I think the birds would be better if they ARE the projectiles. They circulate around your jetstream, and when need arises they go into a ballistic trajectory and the kinetic energy alone is the bomb.

Are current supersonic aircraft good as kinetic weapons?

And to stay on-topic I should put a lame joke here...

Death by dihydrogen monoxide can be one of the worst ways to die.

 

[nismaratwork]

Are current supersonic aircraft good as kinetic weapons?

And to stay on-topic I should put a lame joke here...

Death by dihydrogen monoxide can be one of the worst ways to die.

Oooh... OUCH...

As to the aircraft... no, but then... this is a different planet, right? Maybe there's a reason to avoid nuclear weapons, or conventional explosives...

Still... if you look at 9.11... they do work as kinetic weapons, and that's not supersonic.


Back to jokes: "Cricket: "A game invented by religious fundamentalists to explain the idea of eternal hell to non-Chrisitan indigenous people of the former British Empire." (Joe O'Connor) " *from The Devil's Dictionary*

 

[Ivan Seeking]

A rare and confusing event for the locals, snow fell on San Francisco this week. Emergency rooms were deludged with cases of nasal-cavity frost bite.

 

[nismaratwork]

A rare and confusing event for the locals, snow fell on San Francisco this week. Emergency rooms were deludged with cases of nasal-cavity frost bite.

I'm laughing, but truly, my nose just got a bit stuffy thinking about it.

 

[Lancelot59]

A rare and confusing event for the locals, snow fell on San Francisco this week. Emergency rooms were deludged with cases of nasal-cavity frost bite.

I don't get it.

 

[nismaratwork]

I don't get it.

Think... rails.

 

[Lancelot59]

Think... rails.

I still don't get it.

 

[Borek]

I still don't get it.

Do you have a 1 dollar bill?

 

[DevilsAvocado]

>Ahem<
Any Joke particle can simultaneously occupy the quantum superposition of Funny and Lame, therefore it can have the quality of Funny, but the quality of Lame is all that influences its standing here.

Moose Action at a Distance?

 

[DevilsAvocado]

 

[Lancelot59]

Do you have a 1 dollar bill?

Oh...they were doing cocaine?

 

[nismaratwork]

Oh...they were doing cocaine?

Rails... of cocaine. Yeah, that was the clue. I don't know, having never used cocaine I'm only really familiar with the addict terminology.

 

[Lancelot59]

Rails... of cocaine. Yeah, that was the clue. I don't know, having never used cocaine I'm only really familiar with the addict terminology.

Right...I still don't get it. Was it because they all thought the snow was cocaine?
[PLAIN]http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/demotivational-posters-snorting-coke.jpg

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Right...I still don't get it. Was it because they all thought the snow was cocaine?

That was the idea. San Francisco has a reputation as a mecca for hyper-liberals [in the 1960's and 70's it was hippies] and drug users.

Also, "snow" is an old street name for cocaine.

 

[BobG]

[PLAIN]http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/demotivational-posters-snorting-coke.jpg[/QUOTE]

Is that Joe Charboneau? No, wait, Charboneau used to be able to drink beer through his nose.

He was rookie of the year for the Indians when the Indians were in the midst of a 30 year losing streak and lots of baseball fans saw him as our hope for the future - until he started dying his hair odd colors, opening beer bottles with his eye socket, drinking beer through his nose, and doing his own dental work with a pair of pliers and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

He got sent back to the minors pretty early in his second season and was playing semi-pro ball a couple years after that. Being a Cleveland sports fan just kind of sucks like that.

 

[nismaratwork]

That was the idea. San Francisco has a reputation as a mecca for hyper-liberals [in the 1960's and 70's it was hippies] and drug users.

Also, "snow" is an old street name for cocaine.

"Pure as the driven snow"... Heh.

What gets me is the majority of money having cocaine residue on it! I realize if someone is snorting cocaine, they're not really concerned about health (given what cocaine is, and what it's cut with), but... money is pretty dirty stuff; why use rolled money to snort? I never did understand that...

...Then again the strongest thing I've used in my life is cannabis, and that was many many many moons ago.


@"snorting Coke" Funny pic, but you know that kid's nose must have been on FIRE for a while!

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Moose Action at a Distance?

Yës æït ïs.

 

[DevilsAvocado]

Yës æït ïs.

Oköy thäught sö.


(...this is getting real lame, isn’t it...? )

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

(...this is getting real lame, isn’t it...? )

Søry, no Inglesh I only knø Skandïhnävian.


I wander what wold happen ïf yøø ghot æ møøse to snört köka-kölah... wäït don't dou thhat the møøse wîll gæt verie angrie, he wëëll pröhb'blie trâmple yøø...

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Øüwch.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

What gets me is the majority of money having cocaine residue on it! I realize if someone is snorting cocaine, they're not really concerned about health (given what cocaine is, and what it's cut with), but... money is pretty dirty stuff; why use rolled money to snort? I never did understand that...

Note that "deluged" only has one d in it. Sometimes I think I have alien finger syndrome.

It bothers me a lot more that my bills have all been up someone's nose!

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

It bothers me a lot more that my bills have all been up someone's nose!

That makes me feel like I need to sneeze.

 

[DevilsAvocado]

I wander what wold happen ïf yøø ghot æ møøse to snört köka-kölah... wäït don't dou thhat the møøse wîll gæt verie angrie, he wëëll pröhb'blie trâmple yøø...

Nö nö, taht is nöt ä pröblem. Mööse is ä bäd äss jönky änd höö cän händle it. Dön’t læt him drivæ thöugh, thät næver ænds wäll, änd pölice is væry thööugh whæn it cömes too mööse spæeding... thæy cän smæll a snörting möös milæs äheaæd...

Thæ cöps wäs öut yæstærdäy äss wæll...

 

[DevilsAvocado]

It bothers me a lot more that my bills have all been up someone's nose!

Øüwch.

 

[nismaratwork]

Note that "deluged" only has one d in it. Sometimes I think I have alien finger syndrome.

It bothers me a lot more that my bills have all been up someone's nose!

Ugh, right? That's why I always wear 18 layers of latex gloves, and bathe in boiling water and acetone.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Øüwch.

Hey you stole my post! Thief!

 

[nismaratwork]

Nö nö, taht is nöt ä pröblem. Mööse is ä bäd äss jönky änd höö cän händle it. Dön’t læt him drivæ thöugh, thät næver ænds wäll, änd pölice is væry thööugh whæn it cömes too mööse spæeding... thæy cän smæll a snörting möös milæs äheaæd...

Thæ cöps wäs öut yæstærdäy äss wæll...

HA!